


Someday We'll Know If Love Can Move a Mountain

by allmylovesatonce



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:49:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 49,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28713831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmylovesatonce/pseuds/allmylovesatonce
Summary: The emails were never leaked, but the Queen has forced Alex and Henry apart. Alex believes they're biding their time until they can be together for real. One day at work, he's forced to confront how wrong he is when Henry's engagement is announced. With both of them miserable and neither wanting the wedding to happen, they grapple with how or if they could even stop it. Or even if they should.Completely written, posting twice a week!
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 372
Kudos: 370





	1. (Heart)Breaking News

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for easily months. And one day over my break, I decided to sit down and start writing it. And then it just kept coming. I wrote all of it in 10 days. It was, frankly, insane. And awesome! It's 60k so it's a long one. 
> 
> I want to shout out to my girl floatingaway4 for being the one to make sure things were working and giving me feedback! Also, thanks to my friends on the discord server for hyping me up when I kept talking about writing what I dubbed "Angst Fest 2021." 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Alex gets up from his desk and walks into the break room for a fresh cup of coffee. He’s always been one of the hardest workers around, and this job working for Senator Cameron’s re-election campaign is no different. As soon as he walks into the break room, he spots a crowd of his coworkers, pouring over someone’s phone. 

Instead of engaging with them, he heads straight to the coffee pot and refills his cup. His plans are to go right back to his desk and keep working on the project that he was assigned to draw in youth voters. He has a lot of ideas for it and was eager to be placed on the project. It’s still in the beginning stages, but he only started it at the end of last week. He works fast and that’s what his bosses like about him. 

“Alex!” Lacey calls. Stifling a groan, he turns back around and looks at her. “You’re friends with the royals right?” 

“Um...I guess,” he says. The royals are a bit of a sensitive subject. He doesn’t really want to think about how long it’s been since he’s talked to Henry or about the fact that it’s been even longer since he’s seen Henry in person. 

“So will you be invited to the Royal Wedding?” 

Alex’s brow furrows. “The Royal Wedding?” he asks. “Weird, I didn’t realize Bea was even seeing anyone.” 

“It’s not Princess Beatrice,” Lacey says like he’s an idiot. “It’s Prince Henry.” 

His stomach drops like he’s at the peak of a rollercoaster and is starting the descent. This can’t be possible. “Excuse me?” 

She holds her phone out to him. “Yeah. They just announced it. Prince Henry is getting married.” 

Alex grabs her phone from her, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that what she’s saying is true. The first thing he sees when the phone is turned to him is an incredibly staged picture of Henry with some random woman on his arm. If Alex recalls correctly, it’s the same woman that Henry’s been seen out and about with in the last few months. The difference then was that Alex knew it was all a lie. And he still knows that. So why is this woman wearing a disgustingly large ring, standing with her arm linked through Henry’s? 

He tears his eyes away from her to look at Henry, at the man he loves. It’s immediately clear how miserable he is. Maybe the rest of the world thinks he’s happy, but Alex  _ knows.  _ He sees the tension at the corner of his mouth, that place that it goes, the place that Alex used to love to kiss. He notes the stiffness of Henry’s stance, how he’s touching his fiancée ( _ fiancée! _ ) as little as possible. He sees the quiet misery in the blank stare of his eyes. His press face is out in full force and only someone who knows Henry as intimately as Alex does can recognize it. 

“It’s gonna be such an awesome wedding,” Alex hears one of his coworkers say. 

“I know. They’re so in love. It’s so sweet.” 

That is officially  _ too  _ much. He all but throws Lacey’s phone back at her and walks from the break room. In all likelihood, he’s making his coworkers ask questions, but he doesn’t care. His desk is too open, so he rushes to the bathroom. Slamming his hands down on the sink, he stares up at the mirror, willing himself not to cry at work. 

He can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. It’s June. Or maybe it’s Nora. Regretfully, he wishes it were Henry, calling with an explanation of what the hell is going on, promising him that it’s all just a mistake. He’s not going to answer his phone, but he pulls it out just to see if maybe it  _ is  _ Henry. It’s not. His first instinct was correct. He lets June go to voicemail and tries — and fails — to center himself. 

Alex feels sick to his stomach. He feels like he’s been on the spinning teacup ride at Disney World and he’s just stepped off and is ready to heave. His entire world is spiralling, leaving him unsure where or how to land. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. They had a fucking plan. 

How could Henry just abandon their fucking plan?

His entire body feels shaky as he tries to go from the bathroom to his boss’s office. Realistically, he’s not getting anything done the rest of the day. He can’t even stand up straight without his legs wanting to bow under the weight of his heartbreak. Luckily, he looks like hell, so it doesn’t take much convincing for his boss to let him go home early. 

On his way back to his apartment, he ignores another 5 calls from June, 4 calls from Nora, 7 texts from Zahra, 10 texts from his mother, and 1 email from his coworker asking if he can eat Alex’s lunch. 

He’s too deep into his own confusion and misery to answer anyone’s questions. Frankly, Alex has his own questions. The one that keeps rattling around in his head the most is:  _ How could Henry do this?  _

Alex has half a mind to call Henry, but he doesn’t. He stares at his phone, like he’s daring it to show him Henry’s name and picture. This all feels impossible, like he’s not meant to handle it himself. How did  _ no one  _ give him any sort of warning that something like this was coming? He’s still friends with Bea and Pez. Well, sort of. They’ve texted occasionally. And admittedly, it’s probably been a while, but it’s just been too hard to try and keep up. 

But how did neither of them send him a heads up anyway? How was Alex left to find this out at work and deal with the heartbreak of having the life he’d planned for ripped out from under him?

It’s approximately 15 minutes after he gets home that he finds the bottle of Makers in the cabinet in the kitchen and doesn’t even bother with a glass. 

He’s not sure how long he’s been home or how much he’s had to drink when he hears a vague knocking on his door. It could be more of a beating, but Alex has been blaring “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys for far too long on repeat. Maybe the beating on the door is a noise complaint from his neighbors. He doesn’t really care and he doesn’t plan to move. 

_ Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older?  _

_ Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long _

_ And wouldn’t it be nice to live together _

_ In the kind of world where we belong?  _

Tears fall down his cheeks as they have been doing off and on since he broke free from work. The beating on his door continues. Finally, the door swings open, stopping on the chain, the sound of bodies slamming into the door following. 

“Alex, open the damn door!” June yells. 

He’s half-tempted to tell her to go away and leave him to wallow. Part of him even wonders if he’s going to be able to get up and walk to the door after all he’s had to drink. Alex pushes himself up and stumbles to the door. Pushing Nora’s hands away, he presses the door closed and undoes the chain, letting them in, even if he’d rather be alone. 

The two of them rush in, wrapping their arms around him. “Are you okay? You wouldn’t answer any of our calls. We were starting to get worried!” 

Alex breaks away from them and walks further into the apartment. He stops at the place he’d been laying on the floor and takes another swig from the bottle. “Did you ever think that maybe I didn’t want to talk?” 

Nora looks from the bottle up to him. “Please tell me that wasn’t a fresh bottle when you got home from work?” 

Alex eyes it, unsure how much had been in there at the start. He doesn’t really care. It’s supposed to numb the pain, even if nothing really will. “What do you guys want?” 

“We want to be here for you,” June says, wrapping her arms around him again. “How are you?” 

He swings the bottle around wildly, gesturing to the disaster that his apartment is. “How do you think I’m doing, June?” Stepping away from her, he throws himself down on the couch. “The love of my life just announced that he’s marrying someone else. I don’t know what hurts the most. Is it the fact that I believed we were still trying to outlast the queen? Is it the fact that I know that Henry must be insanely miserable? Is it the fact that I didn’t get a heads up and I found out from one of my fucking coworkers? Is it the fact that I just miss him with my entire being and I can’t do anything about it?” 

June and Nora watch him with sad and concerned expressions. 

“I guess really, it’s a fun cocktail of all of those that hurts the most.” He blows out a long breath. 

“When was the last time you talked to Henry?” Nora asks softly. 

He hates that he knows the exact number of months it’s been. He hates even more that it’s been a shamefully long time. “Five months,” he breathes. 

“That long?” June lays a hand at his knee and gives him a sympathetic look. 

“It just…” he breaks off, rubbing a hand over his face. “It just got to be too hard. I mean, we sat down and told the queen we were together and she  _ forbade  _ us from ever being in the same room again. And it was all my fault because I told him we should tell our families. I insisted that it couldn’t be that bad, that it was 2020 and it would be fine. And then it was very much  _ not  _ fine. I had to leave London and we’ve seen each other one fucking time since then. It’s been 10 fucking months and I’ve seen Henry once. And on top of that we haven’t spoken in 5 months. And now he’s getting  _ married  _ and he didn’t even bother to warn me!” 

Alex breaks down in tears again. He’s lost count of how many times it’s happened. 

“I thought we were still planning to outlast her. She can’t live forever. I figured when she died, we could be together,” he wails. “But he went back on the plan. He’s getting fucking married to someone he’ll never love. He caved and it’s breaking my heart  _ for him.  _ I want to know how he’s doing, but I can’t talk to him.” 

June opens her mouth to say something, but cuts herself off as her phone starts to ring. “Well, maybe you’ll get some of your answers.” She swipes to answer the call. “Pez, about fucking time.” 

“So sorry, love. I didn’t mean to miss your call.” 

“What the fuck is going on, Pez?” Nora yells from the other side of Alex’s coffee table. 

“I’m afraid I know about as much as you do.” 

“What?” Alex pipes up. 

“Alex?” 

“Yeah, he’s here,” June tells him. 

Pez sighs. “Oh, Alexander, babes, I’m so sorry. Please tell me you didn’t find out from the news.” 

“I found out from my coworkers who are gossip hounds.” 

A groan echoes from the phone. “Oh fuck. I’m so sorry. If I’d have known ahead of time, I’d have warned you. I swear I didn’t.” 

“You’re Henry’s best friend,” Nora reminds him. “How did you not know?” 

“Well…” Pez says, trailing off. “Things have been a bit... _ tense  _ over here.” 

“What’s going on, Pez?” Alex demands. “Is he okay?” 

There’s a long silence. Alex can picture Pez trying to find the words to say without making him feel worse. “I think he’s...he’s trying to do what he thinks is his duty. And while he is okay physically, I’m fairly certain he’s miserable. Especially without you.” 

Fresh tears spring to Alex’s eyes. He didn’t really need to hear that. Logically, he knew that Henry was probably miserable, he’d even imagine that it would be because of Alex’s absence, but he didn’t really need it confirmed. 

“Why do this then?” 

“Like I said, he’s doing his duty. I told him I wouldn’t listen to anything that had to do with all of that — the forced dates, the expected proposal, the fake marriage — because I thought he’d eventually pull himself away from it. But based on the news of the day, apparently not.” 

“You just...shut him out?” Alex asks. “He’s your best friend.” 

“Alex, I thought I was helping him. If he didn’t have someone to  _ rationalize  _ his idiotic decisions to, then I figured he’d abandon them. But apparently I was wrong.” 

He tries to picture Henry. A bleak image comes to mind. 

Alone in his empty rooms. 

Unable to talk to Alex.

Beaten down by his grandmother. 

Unable to talk to Pez. 

Forced into a marriage he’ll never be truly invested in. 

Broken down by grief and heartache and duty. 

Alex feels wracked with guilt and heartbreak, wishing he could rush over to London and hold him, promise him that everything would be okay. 

Maybe one day it will be okay, but right now, it really doesn’t feel like it. Right now, it feels like his heart has been stomped on, picked apart, smashed into tiny pieces, and then stuffed in a blender. He wouldn’t say he’s been happy without Henry, because he obviously hasn’t. He’s been miserable since the last time they spoke — hell, since the last time they saw each other. But beneath all the sadness and the pain of being separated from him, he’s carried the promise that one day they’d be able to be together for real, out in the open. A real couple. 

And now, that promise is gone. 

Hours later, Pez is long hung up and June and Nora are laying down, one on the couch and the other on the floor. Alex tried to tell them they could leave and he’d be fine, but neither of them are buying it. They both insisted they were staying the night. Rolling his eyes, Alex retreats to his room. It’s not even that late, but he’s emotionally exhausted. 

As he lays on his bed, he pulls out his phone again. June assured his mother that Alex is alive and as well as can be expected. He hasn’t gotten any more texts from her or Zahra. His dad texted him once to say he was around if Alex needed to talk. 

The truth is, there’s only one person Alex wants to talk to. He stares at the picture of them from the lakehouse that Nora took before Henry bolted. 

Maybe it’s the alcohol left pumping through his system that makes him do it. He presses on Henry’s number, feeling the flame of confidence. On the first ring, that flame blows out and he hangs up, wondering what the hell he hopes to accomplish in this. It’s not like calling Henry is going to make him call off his very public engagement. 

Alex lays back on his bed and throws a hand over his face. Everything feels like it hurts, like if he takes one wrong step, he’ll collapse and never recover. 

A vibration against his hand makes him sit up. Glancing down at his phone, a stunned cough sputters out of him as he stares down at Henry’s face lit up on his screen. He scrambles to answer it, nearly throwing his phone off the bed. 

“Hello?” 

“Alex?” 

He’s trying not to focus on how shaky Henry’s voice sounds. Instead, he just thinks about how wonderful it is to hear his voice. “Henry? Hi.” 

“Hello. I, er, I saw that I had a missed call from you.” He clears his throat. “I guess it could have been a pocket dial, but I...I didn’t know.” 

“It wasn’t,” Alex assures him. “I just hung up before it went through. I figured you wouldn’t want to talk to me.” 

“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?” 

Alex doesn’t really know how to answer that. He’s stuck on how raw Henry’s voice sounds. It takes him back to times he tried to reach Henry on his bad days, when the cloud over him was too heavy to put on a front. He wants to keep talking to him, but he doesn’t know how to talk around the elephant in the room. 

“I saw the news today.” 

“I figured you had.” 

“What the fuck, Henry?” It’s not what he’d imagined saying to him, but it’s all he can get out. 

“Alex —” 

“What happened to waiting? I thought that was the plan. I thought we were going to outlast her. When did that stop being the plan?” 

“Well, I guess I thought you moved on,” Henry retorts, a bit more strength to his voice. Even if he’s pissed off, it’s something. 

“What do you mean? How could you think I’d moved on?” 

“For one, you stopped calling,” Henry says. “We talked for a few weeks after that, but every time it was me who called you. You were the first one to stop calling, Alex.” 

“That didn’t mean I was done. That just meant that I was having a really fucking hard time with things! I’m sorry, H. Believe me, I am. But I was just struggling. I couldn’t see you and our calls started getting really scattered. And I just wanted to be with you but we weren’t allowed because of the opinion of one fucking person that you just happened to be related to. I couldn’t take the pain of being separated. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you. That I don’t still want to be with you.” 

There’s a long silence that follows. “You stopped calling,” Henry repeats, his voice notably weaker. “And then there were all these pictures of you — out with some woman. I figured you’d moved on. Why stay with someone halfway across the world that you can’t even really be with when there’s someone in the same city to be with?” 

“What? What woman?” 

“I don’t know who it was. But she was blonde and wore a lot of scarves and always seemed right next to you in pictures.” 

Alex stretches his alcohol-soaked brain to conjure up an image of who Henry could be describing. “Fuck,” he breathes. “I’m not dating her! I never was! God, I never  _ would.  _ Lacey’s just some girl I work with. She and I got sent out on a lot of errands together because we were interns working on the campaign for a senator. I eventually requested to stop being sent on errands because there were always so many photographers around.” He releases a frustrated breath. “Henry, I was never dating her. You know, you could have asked me instead of just assuming.” 

Another long silence spreads between them. “You stopped calling,” he says once more. “And then there were all the pictures. It all clicked together in my mind, you see. And so when Gran pushed the idea of staged dates at me, I didn’t fight it. You were moving on and I never would be able to, so why keep fighting?” 

“Henry,” Alex whispers, his voice breaking. 

“We never talked. Slowly but surely I lost my support system and along with it, any chance of standing up to my grandmother. I’m not blaming you, but don’t believe for a second this is all my fault.” 

“I never said it was all your fault.” Alex shakes his head, wishing he could see Henry’s face. He’s tempted to facetime him, but he resists. “It just fucking sucks. H, I was still holding out hope for us. I’m allowed to be upset about this.” 

“Yes, well, you’re not the one who is being forced to marry a woman. Of course, you could and it wouldn’t even be a lie.” 

“Oh, fuck you,” Alex fires back. “It would be a lie because it wouldn’t be you.” 

He hears Henry hiss out a breath on the other end of the call. “Well…” he says, “still. You aren’t the one who has to do this. I am. I’m the one who was backed into a damn corner. I’m the one who’ll be living a lie the rest of my life. At least you’ll be able to move on one day and find someone else.” 

“You must know I won’t. Not like you. Not like what we had.” 

“I’m sure it feels that way right now,” Henry says in an extremely condescending voice. He’s apparently been spending more time with his brother. 

“Look, Henry, I’m sorry that I stopped calling. I’m sorry that I let it get to me. I’m sorry that I broke the promise we made in New York. I said I was never going to let the space come between us, but I did. I didn’t think it would be  _ this  _ hard. But Henry, you don’t have to do this. Whether you’re with me or not, you don’t have to do this. Just say fuck it and get out of there. You deserve to be happy!” 

“This isn’t politics, Alex. This is my family. It’s not something I can just  _ get out  _ of. Don’t you see that?” A small sob chokes him off. “I have to do this. I always thought I would. We were naive to think it wouldn’t come to this.”

“It doesn’t have to come to this.” 

“It’s already come to this. It’s done. I can’t leave now. There’s no way out. I’m sorry I ever dragged you into this mess,” Henry says, his voice dripping with regret. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that,” Alex cries. “I love you, Henry. And that’s not going to change, even if you dig your feet in and let your grandmother ruin your life. I love you.” 

Henry lets out a ragged breath. “I love you too,” he whispers. “But it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t make things better. It just makes us both miserable.” Henry sighs and Alex swears he can feel it. “Perhaps it was a mistake calling you.” 

A familiar stab hits Alex in the chest. “You’ve gotta stop saying shit like that,” he says, remembering the last time they saw each other. “Nothing between us has ever been a mistake, Henry. Please say you know that.” 

“I need to go, Alex.” 

“Henry!” Alex yells, trying to keep him on the phone. “Tell me that you know that nothing between us has been a mistake.” 

“But what if it was?” Henry breathes. 

“You’re trying to make this easier on yourself. Or on me. But it’s not going to work. Nothing is going to make this better.” 

“Goodnight, Alex.” 

“Henry! Henry.” The line goes dead and Alex throws himself back on his bed. Fresh sobs wrack his body as he tries to deny everything Henry said to him. 

By the time he cries himself to sleep, he knows three things: 

  1. He hates the queen of England — this isn’t new
  2. He’s going to have a massive headache tomorrow
  3. He is going to love Henry for the rest of his life



When he finally falls asleep, he dreams of the last time he saw Henry.


	2. Flashback to Better Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful reaction to the first chapter! I'm so proud of this story and I'm glad y'all are ready for the pain! Ha! Thank you for reading!

**Seven Months Earlier**

Alex walks the streets of New York with June and Nora. It’s bitterly cold, but they’ve all decided they need the break from D.C. Last week was his mother’s inauguration, a big victory for all of them. Alex couldn’t even really feel the victory of it all. He’s still feeling the blow that came in October, when the Queen refused to even hear Alex and Henry’s side of things before forbidding them to ever see each other again. 

At the time, June, Nora, Pez, and Bea had all encouraged them to fight. Alex certainly wanted to, but he could see how scared Henry was. The meeting with his grandmother had shaken him to his core. And Alex felt it was all his fault. He’d been the one to push for the meeting. 

And now, instead of being happily together, they were miserably separate. He reaches in his pocket and lays his hand on his phone, itching to call Henry. Nora raises one brow at him. She always knows what he’s thinking. It’s spooky. 

Before they left D.C., Alex promised them both that he wouldn’t get on his phone. All it would do is make him sad and heartsick. The point of the trip to New York is to be happy and relaxed. He’s trying really, really hard to follow that rule, but all he wants to do is talk to Henry. 

The girls are dragging him all over the city, their security in tow. He almost wishes the guys would tell them to pick a specific place and just stay there. Finally, multiple shopping bags on each arm, Nora suggests they go back to their hotel and freshen up before a night out on the town. 

Maybe a night out is what Alex needs. Most of his nights over the last few months have been spent on long phone calls with Henry. While they spoke often before their meeting with the queen, now they speak every day. Even if they can’t see each other for the foreseeable future, neither of them are willing to just give up. So every night — at least when they  _ can  _ — they talk to each other on the phone. Henry’s always up a bit late, but he insists that he doesn’t mind. 

Alex’s mind is (as always) on Henry as they walk into the back entrance to their hotel. There’s a man heading toward the elevator that he  _ swears  _ looks just like Henry. It’s unfair the amount of times he thinks or hopes he sees Henry places. Alex shakes his head, not processing as Nora pushes him forward. Not processing as a hand pushes this other man forward as well. Alex looks at him properly and his heart lifts in his chest. 

“Henry?” 

“Alex?” Henry looks past him to see the girls. “Nora and June?” He glances back at Pez. Really, Alex should have recognized Pez. He was just too distracted. “What are you all doing here?” His body gravitates toward Alex’s. They don’t touch, but standing so close to him is enough at the moment. 

“Well, you see,” Pez says, sashaying over to Nora and June, “we all rather miss each other. So we’re going up to a room to hang out. Let’s go before someone notices.” 

They all crowd into an elevator and Alex is pushed in next to Henry. Conveniently, it’s right where he wants to be. He almost reaches out and clutches Henry’s hand, but he doesn’t. His mind shifts back to the elevator footage and their emails that almost leaked. Alex doesn’t really know what would have happened if Rafael hadn’t caught it all and stopped things before they could happen. Before they could out Alex and Henry. 

As he glances over at Henry, he wonders what it would be like if people knew the truth about the two of them. Could they be together for real?

Pez directs them to a room at the corner of the hall and unlocks the door, ushering them in. 

Alex lets out a whistle. “Nice room, Pez.” 

“I’m glad you think so. It’s yours.” 

He whips around, staring at Pez. “Excuse me?” 

Nora and June laugh, but Henry looks just as confused as Alex. Pez shakes his head at Alex and Henry. “Did you honestly think we just  _ happened  _ to be at the same place all at the same time? That takes some planning, fools. No, you’re here because the three of us are tired of seeing you miserable without the other. So, we’re going to go have a night out on the town in New York City. If I were you, I’d be worried that if I left the room, I might be caught by big bad granny. So I wouldn’t leave the room,” he tells them with an exaggerated wink. “Our room, by the way, is two floors down and on the other end of the building. Just in case you wanted to know that.” 

“Yeah, just in case,” Nora says with a similar wink. 

June groans. “You guys are so gross.” 

“You love us,” Pez insists as he shoos both girls out of the room. “See you loves later.” 

The door closes behind him and Alex and Henry turn to each other. Henry glances between him and the door. “Did you have any idea this was happening?” 

Alex laughs, shaking his head. “Nope. You?” 

“Not a clue.” 

There’s a gap between them, a distance neither of them have crossed. It definitely has something to do with the three months that have passed since they have been together in person. Alex wonders if they’ve lost the spark between them. He prays they haven’t. More than anything, he just feels nervous. Sure, they’ve only ever snuck around, but he still didn’t feel this much pressure the other times they were together. 

“You know the...State Dinner was one year ago...today,” Henry says haltingly. He takes a slow step toward Alex. Alex follows suit. 

“I think you’re right,” he agrees. His hand reaches out tentatively toward Henry. They’ve never been this shy around each other. Frankly, Alex hates it. “Nice of our friends to remember that.” 

Henry takes his hand and pulls him slowly in closer. “It is, isn’t it?” 

Alex stares at Henry, taking in the beautiful blue eyes, the sandy hair, the taut figure. But he also notices the dark circles under his eyes, the rigidity that still lingers in his body, even in private. The past few months have been hard on Alex, certainly, but looking at him, he now knows it’s been harder on Henry. “God, I’ve missed you,” Alex sighs, breaking down all barriers between them and throwing himself at Henry. 

Thankfully, the tentativeness between them has dissipated. Henry yanks Alex closer, hauls him up until he wraps his legs around his waist, and kisses him like he’s the water in a desert oasis. Alex moans greedily into his mouth, cupping Henry’s head in his hands, and rocking his hips against him. It’s been too fucking long since they’ve been together. Henry’s fingers knead where he’s holding his ass. Alex breaks away and kisses and nips his way down Henry’s neck. A long sigh escapes him under Alex’s attention. 

“I’ve missed you too,” Henry breathes. He presses Alex’s back against the wall, staring him down when Alex glances at him. “I’ve missed you so much that sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe.” 

Alex slows his motions, cupping Henry’s face in both his hands. “I know what you mean,” Alex says in a small voice. “On Election Night and at the Inauguration, I just kept picturing what it would be like if you could have been there with me.” He leans his forehead against Henry’s. “I hate this, baby. I miss you so much. It’s so unfair.” 

“I know,” Henry agrees. “Believe me, I know.” He lifts up his head and looks at Alex. “But whatever happens next, we’re here now, right?” 

Alex nods, swallowing thickly. He’s tucked between the wall and Henry’s tight embrace, his legs still wrapped around him. “Yeah,” he says. “We’re here now.” 

There’s a small nod between them before they both surge forward and kiss deeply. Alex’s fingers tangle in Henry’s hair, keeping him from pulling away. Henry’s arms tighten around Alex’s back as he moves away from the wall and walks them back toward the bed in the next room. Alex bites at Henry’s lip and he groans, opening his mouth, allowing Alex the chance to slide in his tongue. It all feels so good and so desperate. Alex is more than ready when Henry drops him on the bed and crawls over him. 

“I want you,” Henry pants out just above him. 

“Me too,” Alex cries, pulling him back down and kissing him sloppily. 

Henry’s hips rock forward as he moves his mouth down Alex’s throat. “Perhaps I should have been more clear,” Henry says between kisses. “I want you  _ now.  _ We’ve waited long enough.” 

Alex looks at him, holding his gaze. He pulls Henry in for a long, slow kiss. “I agree,” he whispers. With a quick glance to the bedside table, Alex doesn’t know whether to roll his eyes or be thankful. Sitting with bows on them are a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. “Pez or Nora, you think?” 

Henry laughs, grabbing the both of them. “Either one.” He turns his attention back to Alex and works at stripping him of his clothes. Peeling his shirt over his head, Henry presses a smattering of kisses to his chest as the skin is revealed. Alex can feel himself growing painfully hard beneath him. Henry starts gently rocking his hips, but does nothing more than press kisses to Alex’s chest. 

“Baby,” Alex whines.

As always, the nickname gets Henry’s attention. With a grin, he moves lower down, ridding him of his pants and boxers. Henry’s hand grabs ahold of his cock and Alex groans. It’s been far too long since Henry’s touched him. He’s a bit worried he won’t last long. His concern grows when Henry puts his mouth on him and Alex nearly blacks out. 

“Henry, baby,” Alex pants as Henry works his tongue dutifully. “I’m not going to last.”

He pulls off, looking at Alex with a spark in his eyes. Crawling back up Alex’s body, Henry smirks at him. “We simply can’t have that.” 

Alex breathes out a laugh. “Agreed. Now get your fucking clothes off.” He reaches forward to yank Henry’s shirt off. Henry works at his belt and getting his pants down before Alex shoves him back on the bed and kisses him. Deep. Passionate.  _ Desperate.  _

His hand works at Henry as he kisses him, his tongue deep in his mouth. Henry’s hands are tight against his arms, clinging to him as Alex winds him up. “Alex, love,” he breathes. When their eyes meet, he says, “I want you inside me. Now.” 

Alex tries to catch his breath, to stop feeling like he’s shaking. He nods, swallowing thickly. “Yeah. Me too.” Grabbing the lube from where Henry left them, he slicks up his fingers and starts to prep Henry. It’s been months since they’ve last been together. The last time was filled with promises and tears. This time may not be any different, but Alex doesn’t want to miss it. He works Henry until he’s ready. 

With a nod and a pant of “I’m ready,” Henry urges him to get on with things. A knot of anxiety starts to settle in Alex’s stomach. Thoughts of what happens after this cloud his mind. But when he looks down at Henry, at his blue eyes imploring him, at his bright smile luring him in, Alex’s mind clears. Suddenly there’s no room for anything but  _ Henry.  _

Alex leans forward and kisses him slowly, like meditation. Henry’s arms and legs close around his body. Breaking away from him, his eyes are locked on Henry as he pushes into him. Henry’s eyes go wide before closing as he moans at the feeling. Alex presses his forehead to Henry’s shoulder, allowing them a moment to get used to the feeling they’ve been deprived of. At Henry’s suggestion, Alex starts to move. 

It all feels better than he remembers. Maybe it’s the absence. Or maybe Henry’s body just feels like heaven and Alex is the lucky fool who gets to share it. He pulls his hips back just to thrust forward, making them both cry out. Over and over, he moves within him, his hands tight at Henry’s hips. With one hand at his neck, Henry pulls him in and kisses him messily, with tongues and teeth and sighs and moans. All the while, Alex keeps chasing his release within Henry. 

“There!” Henry yells at one point and Alex focuses to hit the same spot again and again. Holding him close, Henry lifts his hips to meet Alex’s each time, bringing them both closer and closer to the edge. He guides Alex’s hand to his leaking cock and Alex takes the hint. He moves his hand in time with his hips and within three or four thrusts, Henry’s coming on his chest. 

Alex keeps thrusting away, so close to his own release. Henry nips at his throat as he kisses his way up to his ear. “Come for me, love,” he whispers. And Alex does. 

He collapses on top of Henry, not even a bit ashamed of how heavy he must be. Henry doesn’t seem to care. His arms come around Alex and hold him tightly. Alex would be fine if he never let him go. He tucks his face into Henry’s neck and wraps his arms around him. A sticky mess lays between them, as do the orders of the Queen. But neither are acknowledged for now. 

For now, they’re too happy to be together again. Nothing else seems to matter. 

Eventually, though, reality has to hit. 

After another round, blowjobs in the shower, yet another round, and yet another shower, the two of them are laying there, thinking of the day and night they had together. Pez texted Henry 15 minutes ago to let him know they have to leave at 8:00 in the morning to make their flight. As of now, it’s 6:00 and Alex doesn’t want to let him go. 

“What if I just snuck you back into the White House?” Alex suggests. “No one there would care.” 

Henry laughs, but Alex can tell it’s not his real laugh. “It’s tempting.” 

“Baby,” Alex says, pushing hair back off Henry’s head. “I don’t want to leave here. I don’t want to leave you.” 

Leaning forward to kiss him, Henry says, “And you think I do?” 

“No, I know you don’t.” 

A long silence stretches between them. Alex wonders what it must be like for Henry to live in that prison he calls a palace. His mother isn’t any help. His grandmother and brother are ready to make his life a living hell at a moment’s notice. And his sister wants to help but doesn’t know how. 

He almost feels guilty that his family approves of him and Henry. Sure, his mother wasn’t thrilled that Henry’s a  _ prince,  _ but she got over that. And she’s been re-elected, so she’d definitely be fine with it now. 

There’s just the business of the Queen’s orders. She threatened to make their lives very hard if they ever were caught in the same place. He fails to think of a way it would be harder than it is now. 

Henry sits forward, leaving the warm embrace of Alex’s arms. Swinging his legs over the bed, his back is turned to Alex. “This was a mistake,” he says in a small voice. 

“What?” 

“It was just a tease. We shouldn’t have done it.” 

Alex feels sick to his stomach. He refuses to think that Henry actually feels this way. “What happened to ‘We’re here now’ and ‘We’ve waited long enough’? Did that mean nothing to you?” 

He can see Henry’s back tensing. “You know that’s not the case.” 

“Then how the hell are you saying it was a mistake?” 

“Because now it’s going to make it so much harder to leave!” Henry cries. “Seeing you, while being wonderful, is also very hard.” He turns around, tears falling down his face. Alex pointedly doesn’t wipe them away. “I love you, Alex. But this was a mistake.” 

Alex shakes his head insistently. “No. No, I don’t agree with you. Being with you, getting to spend any amount of time with you will never be a mistake to me. I love you too. And I’m not going to just give up. It’s not just a tease, it’s a reminder of what we’re fighting so hard for.” He reaches out and grabs his hands. “I promise you that I’m not going to get scared off by the space between us. Yes, this seems daunting — and how could it not? — but I refuse to let you go. You hear me? I  _ refuse,  _ Henry.” 

Tears are still falling down Henry’s cheeks. The difference is a small smile spreads there as well. “It’ll be hard, Alex. Harder than it’s been. We don’t know how long it’ll be before we’ll have our chance.” 

Alex climbs into his lap, cupping his face in his hands, and staring at him intently. “Baby, I’d wait my whole life for the chance to be fully yours.” 

Henry kisses him swiftly. “You’re mad,” he says with a small laugh as he pulls back. 

“Mad about you.” Alex grins at him. 

With a shake of his head and rolling his eyes, Henry kisses him again, softer this time. They’re savoring the moment between them, unsure of when they’ll get another one. 

**Present Day**

Alex wakes up, feeling the daze of being stuck in a dream. When he rolls over on his bed, he expects to find Henry, but instead he’s just sandwiched between June and Nora in his own bed. He vaguely recalls waking up sobbing, drawing both of their attention before falling back to sleep and into the same dream. 

Henry is so ingrained within him that he can’t even get a night’s sleep without him. 

Fresh tears spring to his eyes as he remembers the day before. 

Henry isn’t his anymore. And it’s time he learned to move on. 


	3. Half-Hearted Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've so appreciated the response to this story! This chapter's a bit shorter, but we had to start moving the story forward. Thanks so much for reading!

It’s been months since Henry last spoke to Alex. That’s how he’s determined to think about it, though — the day that was the last time he talked to Alex as opposed to the day he announced his…

His life is basically a routine now. He goes to appearances, sometimes with Emma, sometimes without her. The events where he is alone are better. He can be more himself when he’s not forcing himself into the box his family built for him. When it’s not appearances, it’s meetings with wedding planners. Initially, he told them all to let someone else handle it. He doesn’t particularly care about the wedding. Why would he? It’s not really for him, it’s for his grandmother. 

Anyway, they didn’t like that answer. So multiple times a week, Henry sits in meetings with wedding planners and listens to their plans for this moment in his life. Any idea he’s presented with is met with “Yes, alright,” from him. Frankly, he doesn’t care enough to have an opinion. Everything gets run by the Queen anyway. Henry could ask for a Liberace-style pianist at the wedding and it would get shot down because it’s not in tone with a Royal Wedding. 

So his weeks pass like that. He doesn’t talk to Alex. He doesn’t talk to Pez about the wedding. Meetings fill his days, all more boring than the latter. One of the harshest blows of all, though, is Bea. 

He’s not quite sure what she was hoping to accomplish, but she’s stopped speaking to him as well. With Alex, he hated it, but he understood. It was incredibly hard to keep the facade going when they never knew how long it would be before they’d get to be together again. But Bea? Bea was trying something and Henry’s not quite sure what it was. It started with the family meeting where Gran announced that she found a suitable woman for Henry and Henry — feeling backed into a corner with Gran and Philip’s eyes boring into him — agreed. 

Bea had stormed out of that meeting and has refused to talk to him since. What Henry doesn’t understand is how she can be more upset about the whole arrangement than Henry is. It’s  _ his  _ bloody life. He’s the one who’s miserable. He’s the one who will never get to be with the love of his life. He’s the one forced to live out the lie to make the crown look a certain way. 

So anyway, months have passed and with each passing day, week, month, Henry grows more miserable. He feels an invisible chain yanking him along, pulling him closer to the doom that is his wedding. His mind often flits to the common joke hetero men make about marriage being a prison. Well, for Henry, it’s true. He’s being locked in by his grandmother, encouraged to do so by his brother. And somehow, no matter how miserable he looks, his mother still thinks he’s fine with this. 

The misery becomes common, like a familiar blanket he wears. It weighs him down some days and other days just keeps him company. While he had his bad days before, now they’re even more frequent. It doesn’t really help that he barely talks to his therapist about what it is that’s actually bothering him. Why would it matter? He can’t get out of it. 

Eventually, he just becomes a bit numb. It takes months for anything to really pull him out of the stupor he’s fallen into, aided by his misery and his numbness and the knowledge that he’ll never get to hold Alex in his arms again. 

Shaan comes to him one day, months after the last time he talked to Alex, and informs him that the Queen has requested a meeting with him. A knot tightens in Henry’s stomach, but he agrees. At the appointed time, Henry goes to Buckingham to meet with her. As he walks by his mother’s office on the way to the meeting room, he sees Beatrice sitting there drinking tea with her. 

He has half a mind to step in there and tell them how much their indifference to his grandmother’s orders has betrayed him. But he doesn’t. His mother won’t understand and his sister won’t care. 

So instead, he proceeds on to find his grandmother waiting for him. He glances around the room, surprised that there aren’t any other people in this meeting. “Gran, you summoned me.” 

“Yes, I did. Please sit.” 

Henry takes a seat as far from her as he can manage. “What’s going on?” 

“Tomorrow, you’ll be meeting with the planners to go over the guest list. I wanted to aid you in that venture.” 

“Oh? How so.” This is perhaps the first time his grandmother has wanted to help him. Henry is incredibly dubious. 

She produces a folder, pulling out a stapled list of names. “This is the approved list of dignitaries that will be required to be on the guest list.” Slowly, she slides the list over to Henry. 

He picks it up, eyeing her skeptically. Clearly, she expects him to look at the list. The first page is a long number of their family and European royals that will look good on a guest list, even if Henry’s never met them. He shoots another look at his grandmother who has an expectant expression on her face. Turning to the second page, he only has to read four names before he realizes why this meeting was even called. She’d rather he throw his fit in just her presence than raise questions among the planners. 

Henry throws the list down on the table. “No. No way.” 

“Henry, he is on the list.” 

“He is not going to be invited!” Henry yells back at her. “No!” 

“If you were not so clouded by emotion, you would see the need, Henry. He was at Philip’s wedding. Very notably at Philip’s wedding, given the scene you both caused.” 

Henry is fuming. He stands up from his chair and paces, putting distance between himself and the worst person he’s ever met — his grandmother. “You can’t expect this of me.” 

“This is all about appearances. Surely, you know that. After the scene at Philip’s wedding, we put in lots of work to stage a friendship between the two of you. A  _ public  _ friendship. As I recall, the public responded well to such a friendship. If he is not invited to your wedding, the world will see that friendship as a facade. We cannot allow that. So he is invited. Your feelings need to be pushed aside, Henry. It’s for the greater good of the crown.” 

“This is too much. No. I’ve done every other bloody thing you’ve asked of me. But I will not do this.” 

“I’m afraid it’s not your choice. My messengers will be the one to deliver the guest list to the planners, not you. Mr. Claremont-Diaz will be invited to the wedding.” 

Henry shoves his chair back into the table, smacking it against the wood. He stomps away from his grandmother, crashing the doors open and slamming them closed behind him. Tears are dangerously close to falling from his eyes. Before he walks back out to his car and heads to Kensington, he tries to pull himself together. 

“That fucking bitch!” he cries, yelling out the last word. He paces back and forth in the hallway, his fists clenched, furious tears falling down his cheeks. 

Bea rushes out into the hallway, looking around with a concerned expression. “Henry?” He glances over at her, his expression not even softening in her presence. “What’s wrong?” 

“Oh, now you pretend to care? You’ll shut me out and let me be backed into this shit but the one time I have an outburst,  _ that’s  _ when you decide to look out for me? Piss off. I don’t need your help if you’re only giving it a fraction of the time.” 

He stalks away from his sister, filled with agony and anger. In truth, he’d love to collapse into his sister’s embrace and rant about the bullshit his grandmother is pulling, but he can’t. If she’s shutting him out, he needs to be used to living without her support. 

The car ride passes in a blur. Tears are still pouring down Henry’s cheeks. He pulls out his phone, tempted to call Alex. If nothing else, he feels he should warn him. Perhaps he should tell him that he’s not actually expected to be there. How does he tell Alex that it’ll just make it harder if he’s actually there? He can’t really wrap his head around promising his love and fidelity to Emma when Alex is sitting just a few rows away. 

He decides that once he has calmed down, he’ll call Alex. Even if it’s out of the blue, even if it’s going to hurt worse once they hang up, he needs to warn him. 

On his way back to his rooms, Shaan hands him a letter. “This came for you, sir.” 

Henry stares down at the writing on the thick envelope. He remembers it from an instance where it was displayed on his skin, written while both of them laughed as the writing “claimed” him. He remembers immediately pushing him onto his back to claim him in his own way. 

The letter is from Alex, but he can’t imagine why. 

Waiting until he’s locked away in his room, Henry rips open the letter. He pulls out the stationary and looks at the writing on the page before he actually reads it. 

_ H,  _

_ Given everything, I didn’t think this really belonged to me anymore. I thought you should have it back. _

_ Good luck. _

_ Alex _

Just above his name, there’s a scribble, like he started to write something, but redacted it. If Henry stares hard enough, he thinks he makes out an L and an O. Maybe Henry just wants it to be “love.” Taking a deep breath, he looks in the envelope to what remains. He tips it over and pours the contents into his hand. 

A familiar weight lands on his palm, his heart stopping, his tears immediately returning. 

This was never supposed to be his again. Even with the engagement, he’d rather Alex has it. He stares down at the signet ring in his hand and it feels like the final crack in his heart appears. His legs give out from under him and he collapses to the floor as the first sob wracks his frame. He clutches the ring and Alex’s letter to his chest, wishing that he’d been stronger, that he’d have been able to say no when it really mattered. 


	4. Distractions From Distractions

A few months have passed since Henry announced his engagement. Alex does his best to move on, but of course, he fails. The problem with trying to move on is that he  _ doesn’t want to. _ Up until the announcement, he was still planning to spend his life with Henry once they were free to. Without that certainty, he just feels adrift. 

He channels all his energy into work. It’s almost ironic that the months of his life that feel the most hopeless are the ones where he does his best work. His bosses are at least impressed. Working and barely leaving his desk keep him from having to interact with all his coworkers who want to know what he knows about the royal wedding. There’s a new article out nearly every day that Alex has to avoid. He wonders what the gossip hounds would think if he told them that the royal wedding is a sham. 

Instead of going out, he usually goes home and wallows. It was sometime in the months after the re-election, in the first months without Henry that he decided living in the White House was too stifling. With June’s encouragement, the two of them both moved out. But it’s times like this where he thinks it would be nice to have a ready made meal and a professional kitchen just down the hall. 

He also sort of misses having June right across the hall. 

Nora and June are doing their best to entertain him. Well, really, to distract him. They’ve tried making him take up new hobbies. He’s gotten into:

  1. Knitting — which was boring after a month
  2. Running — which he did before, but not as intensely
  3. Mosaics — he enjoyed beating up the tile, but not the rest of it
  4. Rowing — he and Nora have been doing so together and it _almost_ takes his mind off things
  5. Baking — he did that for one week before someone referenced _Bake-Off_ and he quit



Alex is maybe a bit more fit than before with all his rowing and running. He’s made a hat for Nora, June, Amy, and Cash. He gave his mosaic coasters to Leo, who seemed to enjoy them. And at the end of that one week, he took a basket of baked goods to work. So, his hobbies are not without their rewards, they’re just not doing the one thing they’re supposed to be doing — taking his mind off of Henry’s impending wedding. 

June drops by one night, three months after Henry’s announcement. She plants herself on the other end of the couch and puts a bag of chinese food in the middle. Alex is deep into his orange chicken when she starts to run something past him. 

“You can tell me if this is a terrible idea or whatever, but I had something I wanted to discuss with you.” 

“I usually do tell you if it’s a terrible idea. So, what are you thinking?” 

“Well, I was thinking that I could set you up.” Her bottom lip is tucked between her teeth. 

He stares at his sister for a long beat. “What? Like on a date?” 

“Yeah, exactly like a date.” 

His eyes linger on her for a moment before he purposefully stares down at his chicken. “Uh, look, Bug, I’m sure this is coming from some nice, well meaning place, but no. I don’t need to go on a date.” 

June sighs. “Look, Alex, you know I loved Henry too, but it’s time you started to move on.” 

“He’s not  _ dead,  _ June. He’s just forced into a sham marriage,” Alex reminds her. “And I’m not ready to date yet.” 

“Okay, but please tell me you’re not holding out hope that the wedding won’t go through. I think that’s pretty unrealistic.” 

Alex rolls his eyes, taking a swig from his beer. “That’s not what I’m doing.” He stares down at the label, not seeing anything in front of him, but instead seeing Henry. “Up until three months ago, June, I was still waiting to spend the rest of my life with him. And now, that’s gone. But that doesn’t mean I can just push it aside and jump on the next body that comes my way.” 

“That’s not what I —” 

“I know that’s not what you meant,” Alex tells her. “But even the idea of dating feels like I’m betraying Henry. He’ll never get to move on with someone else and be happy. He’s stuck in a loveless engagement that will end in a loveless marriage. And thinking about trying to be happy with someone else feels  _ wrong.  _ Even if I know it’s really not, it just feels that way.”

“Okay,” she says quietly. “Then I’ll keep all my set ups to myself. I just…” She sighs quietly, taking a drink of her own beer before continuing. “I want you to be happy. I know you’re not ready to be happy yet, but I want you to be one day.” 

Alex lays his hand over hers on the couch. “I appreciate that. Thank you. I want that too, I just don’t know what that’s gonna look like.” 

“If you start to get an idea and there’s anything I can do to help, you let me know,” June makes him promise. Alex smiles and nods. 

Another couple of unnoteworthy months pass. Alex dodges any mention of the royal wedding that he can, though it grows harder with each passing week. He remembers looking at all the coverage for Philip’s wedding to Martha and wondering why anyone cared. 

But with Henry, he’s of a split mind. Part of him wonders why people care when it’s so clearly faked. The other part of him knows that Henry is magnificent and he understands why people want to talk about him. Even if it hurts, he’s still all Alex wants to talk about. He doesn’t, but he wants to. 

Over his lunch break, Alex is reading some article about a bill on his phone when he gets a call from Zahra. “Yes?” he asks. She usually appreciates efficiency. 

“Alex, you’re needed at the White House this evening. What time are you finished with work?” 

He glances over at his schedule. Yes, he eats lunch at his desk. There are too many people wanting to talk to him and too many things he doesn’t want to discuss in the break room. “Looks like I should be wrapped up around 5:30. What’s the occasion?” 

“You’ll be told when you arrive,” she says shortly. 

“Great. I’ll be there.” 

The problem with not knowing what’s going on is that he spends the rest of his day  _ wondering.  _ Surely if it were something he’d done wrong, there would already be a news article or tweet about it and his Google Alert would have gone off. He can’t think of anything he could have done wrong anyway. All he does anymore is go to work and then go home. 

Still, the rest of the day he’s trying to decide what Zahra wants with him. 

When he gets to the White House at 6:00, he finds June first. “Were you summoned as well?” 

“Yep.” 

“Did Zahra give you any indication as to why?” 

“Nope.” 

“Well great. Love mystery meetings.” 

The two of them wander down toward the West Wing. They just assume that’s where they’ll find their mother and Zahra. Sure enough, Zahra is waiting for them outside a conference room. “Please, come in First Offspring.” 

Alex and June exchange a look before ducking inside the room. Ellen flashes them a tight smile, but doesn’t move from where she stands at the head of the table. The two of them sit in chairs on either side of the table, looking forward at their mother. Zahra goes to stand with her. Their faces are just a touch too serious for Alex to feel at ease. 

“Sorry for all the mystery around this,” Ellen says, “but I didn’t want to discuss this over the phone.” 

“Oh my god. Mom, are you sick?” June demands. 

“No. No, no, no. This has nothing to do with me. This is more to do with the both of you. Mainly Alex, but also you, June.” 

“Okay, please just tell us what’s going on.” 

Zahra holds up two envelopes and slides them down the table to Alex and June. “These came in the mail today. Since neither of you live in the White House anymore, they were brought to your mother. I’m sure you can imagine why.” 

Alex stares down at his name in calligraphy, a familiar seal stamping the front and the wax on the back. His stomach lurches, making him feel like he needs to run from the room. He stares down at the envelope until his eyes start to sting from being open for so long. 

“I’m invited?” he finally asks, his voice raspy. When he glances away from the embossed envelope, he notices the concern on his mother’s face. “I’m invited to the royal wedding?” 

“You were,” Zahra confirms. “You both were.” 

“What the fuck?” he breathes. This feels like officially too much. 

“I have my... _ sources  _ that, uh, inform me that it was not exactly Henry’s choice,” Zahra adds. 

“So...Shaan?” 

She rolls her eyes at Alex, but eventually nods. “Obviously, yes, it was.” 

“I mean that makes sense. The queen is a raging, homophobic bitch. Why not invite the man she forbid her grandson from dating to the wedding she forced him into so people wouldn’t know he’s gay? Makes total sense.” 

“Alex,” Ellen starts. He doesn't let her finish. 

“No, Mom, I’m completely within my rights to say that. The woman ruined my life and I’m not even a part of her goddamn country.” 

“Great, so then I assume you’re not going to the wedding,” she replies. 

“What? What makes you say that? Of course I’m going.” 

Zahra and Ellen gape at him. June’s eyebrows are even a bit raised. Zahra shakes her head, dropping it into her hands. “Alex, I’m afraid you can’t go.” 

“Why is that?” 

“I think it’s fairly obvious,” Ellen says. 

“I don’t. I’m going.” 

Zahra tilts her head, shooting him an exasperated look. “Here’s the thing, Alex, you made a bit of a scene at the last royal wedding, if you recall.” He glares at her. “And you didn’t even have romantic feelings for the groom then. We’re afraid that going to Henry’s wedding will be... _ too much  _ for you and you might do something you — and then we — will regret.” 

Alex huffs out a sigh. “I’m not going to destroy Henry’s wedding cake!” 

“Why do you even want to go?” Ellen asks. “Won’t that be ridiculously hard?” 

“That’s…” Alex takes a deep breath. “That’s why I need to go.” 

“I don’t understand,” Zahra says. 

“Look, Henry’s wedding day is going to be the worst day of his life. It just is. And the least I can do for him is to be there for him on that day. So he knows he has people in his corner.” 

“That doesn’t have to be you, Sugar.” 

“But it does. I need to be there for him. I do.” He glances over at June before looking back at Zahra and Ellen. “I know you think it’s risky and I know you think it’s a bad idea, but I have to. I need to be there for him. So even if you forbid it, I’m sorry, but I’m going.” 

Zahra looks over at Ellen and the two of them share a resigned expression. “Fine,” Zahra says. “But if you do  _ anything  _ remotely close to an international scandal, your ass  _ will be  _ grass. You hear me?” 

“Loud and clear, boss.” 

Ellen turns to June. “Honey, you’re going with him.” 

“I was...kind of already planning on it,” June says. “I mean, I did get my own invitation. And I am friends with Henry, so, yeah, I was planning on going.” 

Zahra nods to her. “Great, well now you’re also Alex’s babysitter.” 

Alex glances over at her and shoots her an apologetic look. She just laughs. “Please, I’m always Alex’s babysitter. Been that way since ‘98.” 

He laughs with her and their mother looks a bit relieved. After a bit more conversation, Alex and June are dismissed. Zahra leaves the room ahead of them. When he’s right at the door, Ellen calls his name. 

“Alex, hold up.” 

June pauses too, but Ellen motions for her to go. She crosses the room to stand with Alex. “Are you going to be alright, Sugar?” This is her mom voice, not her concerned politician voice. “I don’t want things to be any harder for you than they have to be.” 

Alex takes a deep breath and nods to his mom. “I’ll admit, it’ll be pretty hard. But this just feels like something I have to do.” 

She wraps him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I wish I could have gone to bat for you. I just didn’t know how to step into their family drama when I’m just another world leader.” 

“I know, Mom. I wish you could have too. But we can’t change the past.” 

Ellen releases him and cups his face in her hands. “You are so strong and I am incredibly proud of how mature and selfless you’re being. I hope you know that.” 

“Thank you,” he whispers. Alex hugs her again. Sometimes you just need a hug from your mom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, they'll be heading to England, so the action will really start to pick up. I am so thankful for all the kind words y'all have had for this story! Thank you so much for reading!


	5. London Calling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful reaction to this story so far! It makes me so happy to read what y'all have to say! I hope you enjoy what's coming next just as much!

The flight to England feels totally different from the flight to Philip’s wedding. Alex feels eager, yet dreadful. Excited, yet hopeless. It’s a sickening back and forth that leaves him off-kilter. The idea of  _ seeing  _ Henry fills him with more hope than he can contain. Of course, he ends up popping that hope filled balloon when he remembers that he’s going to be  _ seeing  _ Henry marry someone else. 

He’s not okay, but he’s trying. 

Nora and June keep watching him as the flight continues. That he expected going into it. But Cash and Amy’s extra attention feels a bit more serious. Did Zahra tell them to keep an eye on him? Or worse, his mother?

June handed him  _ The Prisoner of Azkaban  _ the moment they stepped on the plane. He’s maybe read six pages in the four hours they’ve already been flying. His eyes flit over to the tabloid June’s reading. Naturally, Henry’s beautiful face graces the cover. He wants to take it from her, wants to stare at his face the same way he did when he was 12 years old. He wants to stroke his hair in the picture, even if now he knows the exact texture, knows the way it feels under his fingers. He wants to stare into his picture-frozen eyes and implore him to make another decision. 

But he doesn’t and he won’t. The line between trying to be strong and wanting to burn down the royal family is thinner than he’d expected. 

By the time they land, his stomach is in knots and he’s full of anxiety. Thankfully, right on the airstrip, they’re met with a distraction. “Welcome to England, my babies!” Pez holds out his arms like he owns the country. All three of them rush toward him, eager to see one of their friends after months upon months of not seeing each other. 

Pez brings them all into a group hug and Alex forgets it all for a moment. “I didn’t know you were meeting us at the airport,” June says as she takes a step back. 

“It’s called a surprise, darling,” he says with a laugh. “Besides, you needed to be welcomed to this country the right way.” He points them to a car behind him. Based on Cash and Amy’s expressions, it was the one meant for them. Pez isn’t throwing their plans into disarray. “Now, I know you have hotel rooms, but you can also stay at my flat if you’d like.” 

“Well, I believe the American taxpayers are paying for our hotel, so we should probably stay there,” Alex says. Really, he’s a bit worried that Henry could show up at Pez’s place and catch Alex unawares. If he’s going to see Henry, he wants to  _ know  _ when he’s going to see Henry. 

Pez rides with them to their hotel. As to be expected, there are a swarm of photographers waiting at the front. Thankfully, they go in another entrance. Alex isn’t ready to face the press just yet. They check in and head up to Nora and June’s room. Alex requested his own room and thankfully, everyone was more than fine with that. He drops his stuff in his room before rejoining the gang. 

June is laughing over something Pez said as Alex walks in. He flops down in a chair and sits sideways, his legs dangling over the side. “It feels like Henry and Bea should be here,” June says. She shoots Alex a sympathetic look. 

“Well, you’d be hard pressed to find them in a room together,” Pez tells them. All three of them sit a bit straighter, looking at Pez with matching confused expressions. 

“What do you mean?” Alex asks. 

He opens his mouth and then closes it. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“But you did, so tell us what you mean,” Alex presses. 

Pez sighs. “Fine, you didn’t hear this from me, but around the time that they started pushing Emma at Henry, Bea stopped talking to him.” 

Alex narrows his eyes at him. “I thought you did that too.” 

“I didn’t completely shut him out. I told him that I didn’t want to talk about her. But Bea, well, she rather shut him out.” 

“Why?” Nora asks. She looks as confused as Alex feels. 

“From what she told me, she was rather going for...tough love. She thought that if she didn’t support Henry in this forced relationship, that maybe he’d back out of it.” 

“What, choose between her and what he thinks is his duty?” Alex asks. “That doesn’t make sense.” 

“Yeah. He couldn’t even choose between  _ Alex  _ and his supposed duty,” Nora chimes in. 

“Right. Well, she thought maybe it would work. I tried to tell her it wasn’t working and that Henry was just going to be pissed at her. She seemed determined that one day her plan would work.” 

“His wedding is tomorrow,” June points out. “I don’t think her plan is working.” 

“It’s not. And they’re both miserable and they both miss each other. I told Henry to talk to her and he refuses because he didn’t do anything wrong. I told Bea that Henry was hurting and he needed his sister, but she kept insisting that the plan would work.” Pez shakes his head. “It’s a bloody mess. All of it. This wedding is a sham and the family is fracturing more than it already was. They both miss their dad and their mum is barely around. It used to be them against the rest of the family, but now they don’t even have that. It’s a disaster.” 

“Okay, but I just...I don’t get Bea’s plan,” Nora says. “It doesn’t make sense.” 

“From what I recall, she said to Henry, something along the lines of ‘I can’t watch you throw away your happiness. You should be with Alex and you shouldn’t settle for less. I won’t be a part of this idiocy. Make your own damn mistakes, but I won’t be around for it. If you wise up and tell Gran to fuck off, come find me.’ Or something like that.” 

Alex sighs. June’s been trying to help Alex find his happiness in the last 10 months, but she’s not gone the tough love route like Bea. He tries to imagine how Henry felt during all of this, going through it without his sister. It makes him ache even more. 

“Sounds like ‘bloody mess’ is the right way to put it,” Alex says. “God, Henry must be miserable.” 

“Well, really, he has been since October of 2020.” 

Alex looks away, trying to not have his emotions right at the forefront. He needs to be better about hiding it if he’s going to get through the wedding. 

They thankfully change the subject, allowing Alex to decompress a bit. He listens to the three of them ramble on about whatever comes to mind. The hotel phone ringing draws his attention. June frowns and jumps up to answer it. 

Her eyes trail over and land on Alex. “It’s for you.” 

He’s confused. It’s not even his room. Moving over to the phone, he takes it from her. “Hello?” 

“Mr. Claremont-Diaz, I apologize for disturbing you. I wanted to let you know there’s a car waiting down here for you.” 

Alex stares at his friends as he processes this statement. “I didn’t order a car…” 

“Let me rephrase. A car has been sent to get you. They are expecting you to go with them. And it’s down here in our private entrance drive.” 

“Alright, I’ll...I’ll be right down.” He turns to the rest of them. “Uh, someone sent a car for me, so I have to go.” 

“Who?” they all ask. 

Alex laughs. “I don’t know and they didn’t say. I guess we’ll see.” He runs back to his room and changes clothes quickly. Cash follows him downstairs and to the car. “Do you have any idea what this is about?” Alex asks him. 

“Nope.” 

“Great.” 

When they get to the car, the door opens and a familiar face pops into view. He steps out of the car and gestures for Alex to get in. Cash takes the front seat with the driver. 

“Shaan,” Alex says. “I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am. How are you?” 

“I’m doing well. How are you doing, Mr. Claremont-Diaz?” 

Alex releases a dry laugh. “I’ve been better.” 

“Yes, I’m sure so. From what I’ve heard…” he trails off, surely to stop himself from revealing what he and his wife discuss. “Anyway, I was sent to collect you.” 

“Given that you’re in a royal car, should I expect that it was a royal who sent you to collect me?” 

“That’s a safe assumption, given that I am the prince’s equerry.” 

“Please just tell me now. Is it Henry? Did he send for me?” 

Shaan watches him for a long moment. “No, it was not.” 

“Fuck,” Alex says under his breath. “Was it the Queen?” 

“I think Her Majesty has far more to worry about at the moment than you. No offense intended.” 

“None taken. Though I would relish it if she worried about me.” He sits back in his seat a bit, now that he’s not worried about an unexpected meeting with the Queen. Even if it tightened the knot in his stomach, Alex didn’t hate the idea of Henry sending a car to get him from his hotel. “So who is it?” 

“I’ve been asked not to say,” Shaan replies. “But I was asked to fetch you directly. I think it was believed that I would take more care of the situation. Especially since I’d already been asked to look out for you while you’re here by someone who cares a great deal for you.” 

“Henry?” Shaan shakes his head. Alex grins. “It was Zahra, wasn’t it?” 

Shaan sits straighter. Alex didn’t really know it was possible. “I’m not allowed to say.” 

“That definitely means it was Zahra.” 

“Look, I did not say this to you and if you ever repeated it, I’d have to say you lied, “Shaan starts. 

“You need to learn how to make threats from your wife.” 

Shaan rolls his eyes. “She cares a great deal about you and was very worried at your decision to come this weekend.” 

Alex feels more touched by that than he’d expected. Realistically, he kind of knew that Zahra cared about them, but he’s never had the confirmation. “Well, that means a lot. You know, if you’d ever said anything.” 

“Exactly.” 

“But you still can’t tell me who has summoned me?” Shaan shakes his head. “Am I going to want to punch this person?” 

“Well that would be giving it away if I told you that.” 

Alex rolls his eyes with a grin and turns to look out the window. The scenery of London flies by as they drive. Slowly, the buildings start to look more familiar. Sure, it’s been close to two years since the last time he was in London, but he recognizes it. He knows they’re getting close to Kensington. When they make the turn to go in the back way, Alex’s heart does something weird. Maybe it’s the proximity to Henry. 

A part of him hopes that Shaan lied and that it  _ is  _ Henry who’s arranged this. Even if it would feel impossible, he wants to see him. Alex misses him with every fiber of his being. The idea of being in the same building as him but not seeing him feels excruciating. 

Once they’re inside the building, Shaan leads him to a specific room. He doesn’t ask, but he’s fairly certain that he’s doing so to make sure Alex doesn’t accidentally run into Henry. If he took off running in the direction of Henry’s rooms, he wonders how quickly a guard would be there to tackle him.

He’s led to the last room he expected: the music room. Shaan opens the door and gestures Alex inside. It’s not Henry sitting in there as he’d hoped. 

“Bea?” Alex asks, taking a step inside and letting the door close behind him. “What’s with all the secrecy?” 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come if you knew it was me asking you here,” she says, watching him from the couch. 

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my friend.” 

“Am I?” she asks. “We haven’t spoken in nearly two years.” 

“Phone works both ways, Bea,” he says. With a shake of his head, he adds, “Plus the last two years have been a damn shit show.” 

“Well, yes.” 

Alex sits down on the couch with her. “What am I doing here, Bea?” 

She glances at her watch before looking up at him. “I thought we could talk, that’s all.” 

“You know that I can’t stop this, right? If Henry wanted to, he would have by now.” 

Bea makes a face, shrugging a bit. “Maybe.” 

“Look, I don’t want Henry to go through with this either. He deserves better. But neither of us are going to talk him out of it. Especially not the day before his wedding.” 

“It’s just not fair. To either of you!” 

Alex lays his head back on the couch. “Obviously, I agree.” He glances over at her. “I still don’t really get why I’m here.” 

“You said it. We’re friends, right?” She looks over at him and holds his gaze. “Maybe I just missed you too. I’ve certainly missed the effect you have on my brother. He’s not the same without you.” 

“Well, from what I heard, you wouldn’t know all that much about it.” 

“Bloody Percy,” she sighs. “Can’t keep his trap shut, can he?” 

Alex laughs. “Of course not.” He watches her for a moment. “Did you really think it would work?” 

She shrugs limply. “I suppose I hoped it would. You weren’t around to talk him into doing what was best for him. I thought maybe a different tactic would work. Clearly, it didn’t.” 

“Are you going to the wedding?” 

A laugh rings through the room. “You think I have a choice?” Bea shakes her head, still laughing almost maniacally. “It would reflect poorly on the crown if I were not in attendance. So of course I’ll be there. I tried to wear black and they even refused to let me do that.” 

Alex is surprised when he laughs. “Well, at least we’ll have each other through it.” 

Bea nods before looking down at her watch again. “It was good to see you, Alex, but you best be off.” 

“Wait, what?” he asks. “I just got here.” 

“I know. I expected you to get here faster, honestly. I have to get ready for the rehearsal later. So I’m afraid you’ll need to go.” She stands up and waves for him to get up as well. Ushering him out of the room, Bea walks into the hallway with him. She points to the left. “Use that staircase over there. It’s a more direct route to the back entrance.” 

Alex watches her for a moment, trying to figure out what she’s up to. “Okay.” 

“Go on, go on. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Bye, then.” He takes one more look at her before he heads down the stairs she pointed to. His steps are slow as he goes toward the exit. It hits him somewhere between step six and seven that this will be his last time in the palace. Who would invite him back when Henry’s married to some woman? He doesn’t even have an attachment to it, except that it’s the place where he can find Henry. 

It’s a simple jump from his last time in the palace to realizing that tomorrow may very well be the last time he sees Henry in person. Realistically, it would be easier if it was the last time, easier for him to move on at least. But he hates the idea of going the rest of his life without seeing Henry. Is he doomed to only seeing his beautiful face in magazines or interviews? 

That’s not the life he wants for himself and it’s certainly not what he would have chosen. He edits the phrase “God Save the Queen” to be far less complimentary. It’s all her fault. How is one woman responsible for so much misery? She’s just a figurehead. It’s not like she actually has a political stance on anything. Well,  _ except  _ for gay marriage. Although, that’s a private stance. 

If he’s missed a turn while he’s walking toward the exit, he’s not aware of it, nor does he care. He jumps back a bit when a door opens. Two women float out of the room, one with a measuring tape around her neck, the other carrying a basket. He pauses, letting them pass before carrying on. 

His head turns to look in the room they just filed out of and his breath draws short. Suddenly, he thinks he understands Bea’s frantic need to get him out of the music room. He’s frozen in his steps, staring without a care. 

He’s desperately trying to recall the way he looked the last time he saw him in New York. Surely, he looked better then — more well rested, happier. But the suit on him is perfect. It fits him like a glove, hugging each beautiful inch of his body. Even if Henry doesn’t care about the wedding, he’s still going to look fantastic. 

Just as he’s about to move, their eyes meet. He’s just as frozen as Alex is, neither of them expecting to see the other. Beatrice is just too diabolical. 

Alex takes a deep breath, fighting the tears springing to his eyes as he reminds himself that this look isn’t for him. It’s for Emma. Still, he watches Henry for a long time from the hallway, neither of them saying anything. 

“Alex?” Henry finally says. 

He flashes him a sad smile. “Hi, Henry.” 


	6. Forbidden Encounters

Alex hovers in the corridor, wondering if he should step inside the room. The Queen would be livid if she knew Alex was even in the palace. But Alex doesn’t really give a shit what she thinks. He steps inside and closes the door. Whatever moment he’s going to get with Henry, he doesn’t want everyone to see it. Their interactions are few and far between, especially now, and he wants it to be  _ theirs.  _

“I’m pretty sure at most weddings, the bride is supposed to be the most beautiful one there. But I guess you’re just going to turn that on its head, huh?” he says, forcing a smile. 

Henry doesn’t grin back at him. He looks pained. Heaving out a breath, he asks, “What are you doing here?” 

Alex clears his throat. “Well, your sister sent for me.” 

“What?” Henry looks incredibly confused. “Why?” 

“If I had to guess, I’d say she wanted us to see each other.” He shakes his head. “I talked to her for like five minutes and then she shoved me out the door and sent me down some path that led me right past here.” 

“Interesting,” Henry says. He steps down off the small pedestal in front of the mirror, but he doesn’t move any closer to Alex. “I was...surprised to see that you were coming.” 

“I was surprised to be invited,” Alex tells him. “But my sources informed me it wasn’t exactly your choice.” 

Henry’s brow furrows. “Sources?” 

“Zahra. Via Shaan.” 

“Ah,” Henry says, with a small laugh. “I suppose that makes sense. Still, I didn’t expect you to be here.” 

Alex shrugs. “Well, I felt like I needed to.” Henry watches him, a curious look on his face. “I figure tomorrow is going to be one of the worst days of your life, so even though it’s killing me, I wanted to be here for you.” 

He can see unshed tears sparkling in Henry’s eyes. Surely his own eyes look the same. “That’s very selfless of you.” 

“Felt like the least I could do. You know,” Alex says, “since a lot of it’s my fault.” 

Henry shakes his head, sighing. “Do you remember the last time we talked?” 

“Of course I do.” Alex wonders where he’s going with this. 

“I’ve thought about that conversation so many times. It wasn’t fair what I said to you. It wasn’t your fault, Alex. It wasn’t. And I was so awful for trying to say that. I’m sorry.”

Alex can feel tears starting to fall down his cheeks. “It was my fault though. I was too impatient to wait for a good time to tell people. I just wanted to go public with our relationship. And in the end it screwed us over. I shouldn’t have been so stupidly optimistic.” He wipes his cheeks. “Don’t worry, I don’t really think like that anymore.” 

Henry frowns. “I always loved that about you,” he says in a small voice. “It was a good contrast to my cynicism.” 

Alex breathes out a laugh. “Until it ruined it all.” 

Henry takes a step toward him, just a small one. “Alex, it wasn’t your fault. I really am sorry for ever making it seem like I blamed you. And it’s also not your fault that you stopped calling. We were in an impossible situation and there was no end in sight. You were right, I should have just asked you about it all, but I was a fool. I’m to blame if either of us is.” 

“No, you’re not,” Alex says firmly. “You were in an even more impossible situation. The only person to blame is your goddamn grandmother. It’s her fault that all of this has happened.” 

A silence stretches between them. Alex glances down, his eyes landing on the signet ring on Henry’s pinky. His heart clenches in his chest while his hand travels to his necklace, feeling its absence there. Henry catches the movement, flexing his hand to look down at the ring. His eyes go to the spot where the key is hidden under Alex’s shirt. Both of them want the ring to be there as well. 

“I know this is unfair to say,” Henry breaks the silence, “but I love you.” 

Alex nods, gasping out a watery breath. “Yeah, I love you too.” He shakes his head, wiping the tears running down his cheeks. “I’ve missed you.” 

Henry sighs. “I’ve missed you too. There were so many times I almost called you, but it just seemed so unfair. If you’re going to move on, you don’t need me constantly bothering you.” 

He shakes his head at Henry, releasing a dry laugh. “Moving on, ha. I don’t think that’s a big concern.” Henry looks just as heartbroken as Alex feels. “God, this is stupid,” he says. Henry nods in agreement, staring down at his shoes. The air between them is thick. Alex knows he shouldn’t have walked in here. It’s only going to make it harder to leave. Maybe that’s what Henry meant all those months ago in New York. He needs to wrap this up or he’s going to blockade himself in here and never let either of them go. “Well, I, uh, I hope she knows how lucky she is.” 

Henry looks up at him, wounded. “I think she feels quite lucky, but I don’t believe any of that has to do with  _ me.  _ More from the amount of money she’ll be getting for agreeing to this arrangement.” 

“That’s idiotic,” Alex says. He doesn’t know where the strength comes from, but he steps forward and presses a kiss to Henry’s cheek. “You’re the prize,” he whispers. Henry closes his eyes, tears leaking out from under them. Alex squeezes his hand, his thumb landing on the ring he used to possess. “Good luck, Your Highness.” 

Henry releases a whimpering sob, opening his eyes just when Alex reaches the door. 

Alex pauses, glancing back at him. “You really do look amazing.” And before he acts on any of the thoughts in his head — kissing Henry, tearing his tux off him,  _ kidnapping  _ him — Alex opens the door and walks away from him. It takes every ounce of strength he has to do so. He rushes from the room, rounding a corner and walking straight into another person. 

“Oh excuse me!” he cries. Glancing up, he sees a woman he recognizes from pictures alone. 

“Not to worry,” Princess Catherine says in a cheerful voice. Her eyes linger on him, trying to register him. “You’re the President’s son, aren’t you?” 

“Yes, Your Highness. I’m Alex. Alex Claremont-Diaz.” He manages a hasty bow, unsure if he needs to do so or not. Henry and Bea never made him bow to them. Well, he once jokingly bowed to Henry and he just laughed and kissed him senseless. 

“Don’t bother with that ‘Your Highness’ business. You may call me Catherine. I know how close you are with my children.” 

Alex breathes out a nervous laugh. She has no idea  _ how close  _ he is to her son. He smiles nervously. “Yeah, Bea and Henry are the best.” 

“I’m glad you could make it,” she says. Her eyes flit over to the hall Alex just came from. Maybe she’s wondering why he’s loose in the palace. “I was simply coming over to see how Henry’s last fitting went.” 

Alex nods, unsure of what to do or say. He’d never imagined meeting Henry’s mom in these circumstances. “I’m sure he looks great.” He clears his throat. “It was a pleasure meeting you  _ Catherine,  _ but I should be going.” 

“It was a pleasure meeting you as well. My son has always had such nice things to say about you.” Alex looks up at her, wondering if what she’s saying is true. Could Henry have really talked about him with his mom? He nods and walks away from her before a new wave of tears starts. 

A car is waiting for him in the same spot that it dropped him off. Shaan calls for him just before he jumps in. From the moment he turns around and faces him, he knows Shaan can tell he’s been crying. He looks...not disappointed, but also not surprised. “Princess Beatrice pulled something didn’t she?” 

Alex breathes out a laugh. “She’s pretty diabolical, that one.” 

“So you’ve seen the prince, then?” 

“Don’t worry, the wedding’s still on,” Alex grumbles. “I don’t have him tucked away in my jacket pocket.” 

“That’s not what concerns me, Alex,” Shaan says, giving him a look. “It just feels like needless pain for the both of you.” 

“That’s what this entire wedding is, Shaan. A needless pain to make appearances. We both know that.” With that, Alex turns and gets in the car, waiting until the car is out on the main road before breaking down in tears. When he gets back to the hotel, he doesn’t go to find June and Nora again, he goes straight to his room, tears still streaking his cheeks. 

Of course, they do find him eventually. Based on the puffiness of his eyes, both of them know something happened. He finds himself crying  _ again  _ and trying to tell them that he’s fine. The truth is he’s not fine and he won’t be fine for a long time. Saying goodbye to the love of your life and sending them off to marry someone they’re never going to love kind of fucks you up a bit. 

Pez comes back bearing a damn feast for them. This time they huddle in Alex’s room, trying to talk about anything but Henry. Naturally, it’s the one conversation that comes up the most. 

Alex drinks champagne that Pez provided and tries not to remember when they drank champagne on his birthday or how it tasted on Henry’s tongue. They talk of some event Pez had to go to and Alex is reminded of the gala in Berlin. Somehow, nearly everything they talk about makes him think of Henry or how Henry should be there with them. 

He’s probably at his fucking rehearsal dinner, flashing forced smiles to everyone involved, including his sister who he no longer talks to. There were plenty of times in the months they were actually talking that Alex wanted to smuggle Henry out of the palace and give him a new life in the U.S., one he could actually enjoy. That urge has never been more present than it is in this moment, as it is each time a new horror of Henry’s current situation is revealed. 

That ship has sailed. He doesn’t even know how he’d accomplish something like that or he’d have tried it a long time ago. Maybe if Henry weren’t one of the most popular men in the world, he could get away with it. 

When he goes to bed, as usual, he has trouble falling asleep. He wonders if just across town, Henry’s having the same struggle. Pulling out his phone, he hovers over Henry’s number. He doesn’t call him. That part of his life is over. It’s long past the time he should have accepted that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep saying this, but I'm so excited for the upcoming chapters! I can't wait for y'all to read them! Thank you for reading this and yelling at me for being mean to them. It's so nice to read all your comments! 
> 
> See y'all on Tuesday!


	7. The Night Before

Seeing Alex knocked Henry more off-kilter than he’d planned the day before his wedding. He sits through the rehearsal dinner, imagining what it would be like with Alex next to him instead of Emma. Similarly to the planning, he gets through all of the rehearsal by nodding his head and easily agreeing with everything asked of him. 

During the dinner, he feels Bea’s eyes on him. Glancing over at her, he notices her concern. It’s far past the time she could have acted on it. He keeps finding himself fiddling with his signet ring when he’s supposed to be listening to some conversation. Even if it was his to begin with, it now feels like he has a small part of Alex with him. It makes no sense since the only reason he has it is because Alex gave it back to him, but still. Somewhere in his shaken up mind, it feels like he has Alex with him. 

He tries to think back on Philip’s wedding and rehearsal. Not many clear memories come to mind. Most of Philip’s wedding stands out in reference to Alex — Henry avoiding him, Henry wanting to talk to him, all the while knowing that Alex would just insult him, Henry staring at him from across the room, Henry getting pulled into that cake monstrosity, only for it to crash on them. When he tries to really think about the rehearsal, he can only think about him and Bea huddled together, making comments about everything, acting like absolute shits. 

It’s what pains him even more about his sister. Clearly, she’s trying to do something if she asked Alex to come to the palace. He does wonder what she was trying to accomplish with that. Did she think that seeing Alex would make him call everything off at once? If he couldn’t push back before, how could he do so now when his support is depleted and the whole world is watching him? Now, having seen Alex, he just feels a hole where his heart used to reside. It had been crumbled, beaten to pieces in short bursts over the last 18 months, but now, now it’s just an empty void. 

Perhaps it will make it easier to enter and sustain a loveless marriage if he has no love to give. 

In addition to Bea’s concerned gaze, he feels his grandmother watching him throughout the evening. Maybe she’s waiting for him to crack. Or maybe she’s making sure he doesn’t make a run for it. Oh, how he’s tempted. 

Emma sits next to him and they might as well be two strangers on a bus, one of them having taken the last seat. Aside from when absolutely necessary, they haven’t spoken a word to each other. Henry’s too heartbroken to attempt anything. He has been the entire time. She probably thinks he’s some standoffish royal and he doesn’t care to change that perception. Perhaps it will mean she’ll leave him be most of the time. 

The road he’s being forced down is a bleak one for sure. He wonders what his father would say if he were here. Would he have taken one look at the situation and demanded Henry be treated better? Based on all his memories of his father, he thinks yes, he would do that. In her own backwards way, he thinks that’s what Bea has been trying to do, it’s just been massively ineffectual. 

Then there’s his mother. His mother who came to see him right after Alex left and stared at the tear streaks on his cheeks like they were blood. His mother who has also been watching him all evening, not with concern or malice, just like she’s studying him. He feels her evaluating gaze and does his best to avoid it. 

His mother and his sister could have worked to support him and get him out of this situation, but neither did. He doesn’t know how to look them in the eye with the full force of his misery and show them what they’ve helped accomplish. 

He narrowly gets through the rehearsal without breaking down. The idea of getting through the wedding the same way feels a bit harder. Perhaps if he starts crying during his own ceremony, people will think he’s just so in love with Emma. Actually, that’s  _ exactly  _ what they’d think. 

How did his life come to this?

That night as he lays in bed, cherishing his last night of “freedom,” he stares at his phone, debating calling Alex. He thinks of all the things he could tell him, like how he barely had a say in anything of this wedding, not even the date. Not even when Henry felt like it was a massive slap in the face to schedule it for June when it was 1) the month his father died and 2)  _ Pride  _ month of all months. He’s almost certain it was deliberately picked. He thinks he could tell Alex of all the meetings he had to sit through debating different colors of white. Or even of the calligraphy options he had to choose from only for them to use a different one. There are a million things Henry could talk to Alex about, all of them inconsequential to the two of them. 

He thinks Alex would listen, but it would be terribly unfair. His family is the reason they can’t be together. No matter what Alex says about not moving on, Henry wants him to be happy. The odds of him finding happiness while he has his weepy ex calling him are few and far between. Henry needs to let Alex go and has been telling himself that for months. He cradles his hand, his fingers holding the signet ring. This was Alex’s way of trying to let him go. Henry needs to find a way to do the same. 

Getting up from his bed, he decides that writing a letter could be helpful. Even if he’ll never send it, putting it all down on paper might be a release. 

_ Alex,  _

_ Here I sit, the night before my wedding. I think that most grooms are probably excited. And I keep trying to think of what could make me excited for my wedding. There’s really only one thing that would work: seeing you stand before me at the altar.  _

_ As I write this, I know I’ll probably never send it to you. But I need to get it all out. I know I hurt you when I said I wished I’d never dragged you into this mess. Part of me meant it though. If I could spare you any of this pain that I know we’re both feeling, I’d do so in a heartbeat, even if it means that I’d have never known your touch.  _

_ Well, I may need to take that back. I don’t know that I could live without ever knowing that. After all, it’s what I expect to sustain me going forward.  _

_ I never expected to see you today. A pathetic part of me is hopelessly glad I did. Another part of me has felt the devastation of your leaving since the door closed behind you. My mother came in right after you and I had to pretend that everything was all right, that my heart hadn’t walked right out of the room, leaving me a quaking, empty mess. I suppose that will be my life — thinking of you and what you mean to me while hiding it all from the world.  _

_ I don’t know if I’ve ever told you fully what you mean to me. The hope you instilled in me, the promise that came from your nearness, the utter happiness I’d never had before, nor expect to find again. I loved you from the moment I saw you and I expect to love you until my dying breath. Perhaps that’s silly for a relationship that never truly got to see the light of day, but you’ll mean the world to me forever, I know it. The fact that you looked at me, a broken man, and chose me, that will keep me warm when your arms can’t.  _

_ I think of that trip to Paris. It was utterly foolish of us to spend the night together, and yet that morning, I woke up beside you and I felt whole. I watched you sleep, watched your curls fan out on the pillow like a halo, and for the first time in my miserable life, I felt a flicker of hope. I can’t explain why. We’d yet to define anything between us and at the time I thought you only wanted me for my body. But somehow sharing that morning with you felt like the most intimate thing I’d ever done. I let myself get carried away as I went back to my hotel, imagining what it would be like to spend every morning with you, eating pastries together, drinking our tea and coffee side by side, catching up on the news of the day, or simply doing nothing — as long as we were together.  _

_ You can’t possibly know how much I still want that. Or how much it kills me to know I’ll never have it.  _

_ Thank you for walking away when you did today. I was so close to breaking down, to throwing it all away and running away with you. I fear I’m still not as brave as you are. I wonder what I would have done if the situations were reversed. You told me you came here to support me, but I don’t know if I would be brave enough to do so. I remember what I said to you at Wimbledon and I still mean it. You’re brave. I could use some of that.  _

_ This is becoming a jumbled, emotional, rambling mess, but if I do ever send this to you and you do actually read it, I want you to know that having known you, having been loved by you has been the greatest joy of my life. Selfishly, I hope you could say the same.  _

_ I’m sorry if knowing me and being a part of my life has given you excess pain. Please forgive me for making your life harder. For as long as you could, you made mine so wonderful.  _

_ All my love,  _

_ Henry _

_ P.S. i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) — e.e. cummings _

One tear falls off his cheek and dots the page next to his name. It feels like a more accurate signature. 

His sleep is fitful, but he thinks he’s able to manage at least a couple of hours. By the morning, he doesn’t feel restful, but he knows he at least slept. Eyeing the letter sitting out on his desk, he turns his back on it and jumps in the shower. 

Each step of getting ready feels like trudging to walk before the firing squad. It’s all such a bleak feeling. He ties his robe shut and walks out to his room, hoping to wallow a bit before he has to be around other people. Apparently it’s not meant to be. He finds his mother sitting on his couch. She’s dangerously close to his desk where the letter sits, unfolded, there for all the world to see. He can’t help but wonder how his mother would react to the truth. 

“Mum, what are you doing in here?” 

“I came to make sure you were up,” she says. He frowns, wondering why this job came down to her. There are plenty of servants. “I also wanted to see how you were doing.” 

He decides to lie, however unconvincingly. “I’m fine. Just trying to get myself ready.” 

“Well, I suppose I’ll come back in a bit.” 

“You don’t —” she’s out the door before he can finish his sentence. “Have to,” he breathes to the empty room. 

True to her word, Catherine returns once Henry is dressed. She fiddles with his tie. He’s fairly certain she’s trying hard to step back into her mum shoes, so he lets her. It’s just the two of them in his room, getting him ready for the most miserable walk down the aisle. 

“I wish your father could be here,” she says. 

It’s another blow Henry has been trying not to acknowledge. “I do too.” 

“I remember our wedding day. We were both so excited. As you know, your Gran didn’t quite approve, but I refused to let that stop me.” Henry nods, wishing he had an ounce of the strength his mother had had then. “I loved your father so deeply and nothing was going to stop me from being with him, not even my crabby old mother.” 

“What are you saying, Mum?” Henry asks. He’s wondering now if she did read his letter. The image of her evaluating him comes back to mind. Could she have figured it out? 

“I’m not saying anything,” she says with a shrug. “Just remembering my own wedding day.” She sighs to herself, stepping away from Henry. “Your father and I used to have this saying. We’d say, ‘It’s your turn to be brave.’ It was just something that started and kept going, you know?” Henry nods. “Arthur, while used to being in the spotlight, started to get cold feet about marrying into the royal family. I don’t think it had anything to do with the family, just with your gran.

“Anyway, he always told me I was so brave for doing what I wanted with my life and getting myself out from under my mother’s thumb. When he told me he was concerned about it all, I told him, ‘It’s your turn to be brave.’ And somehow, it became a thing.” She smiles through the tears in her eyes. “It was actually the last thing he said to me. Sometimes I worry I haven’t been brave enough since he died. I worry that I’ve let you kids go through so much on your own.” 

Henry watches his mother, thinking of all the times he could have used her help in the last seven years.

Catherine turns back to Henry and cups his face in her hands. “I want you to know that I will never be like my mother. Whatever you want to do with your life, I will support you. Because I love you and I want you to be happy.” 

He opens his mouth to straight up ask her if she read his letter when the door to his room opens, Shaan standing there looking grim. “Your Highnesses, it’s time.” 

Naturally, just when Henry feels like he’s getting somewhere, like a seedling of courage is starting to bloom within him, it’s ripped away. He nods, avoiding the critical eye of his mother and walking out of the room. 

As they ride to Westminster Abbey, Henry sees the people lining the streets the closer they get to the church. He wonders what all these people would think if they knew that what they were all lining up for was a total lie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do promise that at some point, this story won't be so sad. We'll get there! In the meantime, thanks for reading!!


	8. Stuck in Motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this 12 hours earlier than normal because I'm leaving town tomorrow and I wanted to make sure it got posted. Thank you for all the support for this story!

Alex sits at a table with June, Nora, and Pez the morning of the wedding. Even the thought of food makes his stomach turn. He watches them eat their breakfasts, knowing he probably won’t be able to stomach anything for a while. June pushes her plate toward him. “Have some of my omelet.” 

“I’m okay, but thanks.” He pushes the plate back at her. 

“So you’re just not going to eat anything?” June asks. “You didn’t get any sleep, and now you’re not eating. Alex, this is so unhealthy.” 

“I can’t help it! Chalk it up to stress.” His arms are crossed in front of his chest. 

Pez eyes him for a moment. “Need a stiff drink?” 

June glares at him. Alex laughs and shakes his head. 

“Do you want me to pull the whole ‘Henry would want you to take care of yourself’ bit?” Nora asks. June points at her, nodding her head in agreement. 

“Fine, guys, I’ll eat. But it’s your fault when I immediately puke it back up. I know my own body, that’s what’s going to happen if I force myself to eat right now. Okay?” All three of them have a disgusted look on their faces. He thinks his point lands. “Anyway, Pez what are you doing here still? Don’t you have best man duties you need to attend to?” 

Pez laughs. “You think I’m the best man? You must be joking.” 

“Did you not notice that he was here all of last night instead of at the rehearsal?” Nora asks. 

Honestly, Alex didn’t even think about that. His head was too wrapped up in the moment he’d had with Henry. “Wait, you’re not the best man?” 

“In the wedding that is all about appearances,” Pez says, “do you really think the Queen would allow me to be the best man?” He gestures to his bright outfit and pink hair for emphasis. Alex laughs. “Frankly, you’re lucky  _ you  _ aren’t the best man.” 

“Excuse me?” Alex’s eyebrows feel like they’re at his hairline. 

“What with all the staged friendship crap and how into appearances the Queen is, I’m surprised she didn’t push you into the position.” 

“Like that would have happened. Her orders strictly forbid being in the same room. Best man would be a bit close for that rule,” Alex says darkly. He shakes his head. “So who’s the best man?” 

A dismal look crosses Pez’s face. “Philip.” 

Alex gapes at him. “Philip?” he asks. And then again because he can’t get over it. “Philip?!” 

“Yep.” 

“Philip?” he repeats. 

“That’s what he said,” June says, giving him a nervous look. 

“Philip is the best man?”

June rolls her eyes. “You have said that name like 50 times.” 

“Say it one more time,” Nora encourages. 

“ _ Philip? _ ” He shakes his head. “It’s Philip?”

Nora scoffs at him. “I said  _ one  _ more time. That was two.” 

“Shut up, Nora,” Alex says, his eyes still on Pez. “Henry would literally never choose him. How the fuck is it him?” 

Pez sighs. “Because this isn’t really Henry’s wedding. It’s really the Queen’s wedding that Henry’s just forced to be a part of. All of it is done for appearances’ sake only. And so naturally, she believes that the people will like it better if Henry’s brother is his best man instead of — oh I don’t know — someone he actually likes.” 

Alex drops his head into his hands. It feels like every hour he finds out some new twisted horror of what Henry’s going through. It only makes him ache more. “God, this entire thing is such bullshit.” 

“Yep,” all three of them say in unison. 

Eventually Pez leaves, promising to meet them at the church. 

Alex gets ready half-heartedly. He wants to show up in his sweats and a tear stained shirt from the night before just to spite the Queen, but it’s still an appearance. And he did promise his mother and Zahra that he wouldn’t make a scene. His hair is orderly and his suit looks nice enough. He looks at himself in the mirror and wonders what Henry would make of him if he were allowed to care. 

He also wonders when the day will come that his thoughts aren’t completely focused on Henry. 

Unable to stall any longer, he wanders down to June and Nora’s room to find them. Maybe it was all the feet-dragging, but they’re ready at the same time he is. He smiles to himself as he looks at the two of them. In no way would he have gotten through the last several months without them. He looks at them all dressed up for an event that he knows they’re dreading as well. Still, it’s an excuse to dress up and they look wonderful. June’s in a gold dress with a big skirt and a matching fascinator with a bit of netting that hangs down over her brow. Nora is wearing a teal dress that hugs her body a bit more than June’s and a fascinator with a big peacock feather coming out of the back. 

“Shall we?” he asks, holding out both arms. Nora walks forward and presses a kiss to his cheek. June wraps her arm around his shoulders as they proceed to the elevator. He knows if nothing else, probably all three of them will be on some best dressed list for the wedding. It’s weird the things that are delighting him at the moment. 

As they drive through London to Westminster Abbey, crowds line the streets, surely for a glimpse of Henry or his fiancée as they drive past. He wonders what people would think if they knew the truth of it all. There are images in his head of him hanging out the window and broadcasting reality to these people. But instead, he just squeezes June’s hand in his and ignores it all. 

Their car drops them off at an approved spot and the three of them get out. Photographers are scattered everywhere in front of the Abbey. It feels like hundreds or thousands of people are waiting behind barricades on the other side of the street. When some people call his name, he waves politely, flashing a tight smile, but can’t muster up the energy to do much more than that. With every step he takes toward the church, he feels his energy draining just a bit more. He glances up at the towers stretching toward the sky. It has a way of making him feel even smaller than he already feels. 

They meet Pez inside the church and he leads them to their seats. As they walk down the long nave, over the graves of multiple notable figures, Alex glances at the seats filling in on either side. The three of them continue to follow Pez. He’s not sure how, but apparently they’ll be up with the close friends and family. They pass through the quire and find their seats in the sanctuary. He wonders if people will give him dirty looks if he does the sign of the cross. It is an Anglican wedding after all. 

Pez walks them right up to Bea who squeals eagerly as she embraces June and Nora. Bea looks just as wonderful as the other girls look. “Navy blue?” he asks as she hugs him tightly. 

Bea laughs. “Closest they would let me get to black.” 

Alex grins. “Well, you look beautiful.” 

She looks at all of them. “I’m so happy you’re all here. It’s a damn shame that this is the reason that brought us all back together, but I’m happy to see you.” June and Nora echo her sentiments. 

“I mean, it’s not a funeral,” Alex reminds them. 

Bea scoffs. “Might as well be for the fucking joke this is going to be.” 

He gapes at her, looking around quickly. “My god. Bea, you’re saying all this awfully loud in a church for someone who’s stone cold sober.” His eyes widen frantically. “You are still sober, right?” 

She lays a hand on his arm, smiling kindly at him. “Yes, not to worry, I’m still sober. I just don’t give a shit about any of this. It’s a total farce. You of all people should be yelling from the rooftops of what a joke it is.” 

“Don’t think the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.” 

None of them actually take their seats. They’re all standing there, catching up the five of them. It goes unsaid between them, but they can all feel one particular absence. How could they not?

“Beatrice, love, do you have an extra handkerchief by chance?” Catherine asks walking up to their small group. Bea nods and digs through her purse. Catherine pats Alex’s shoulder with a kind smile. It’s almost...sympathetic. “Alex, so lovely to see you again. It’s so nice of you to be here.” 

He nods politely at her. “Good to see you again as well.” 

Bea’s head snaps up and she stares at Alex while she hands the handkerchief to her mother. Looking over, he sees the other three staring at him as well. Once Catherine leaves, Bea jumps in on him. “When did you meet Mum? I feel like Henry would have mentioned it if he’d introduced you to her.” 

“I met her yesterday,” he informs the group before turning his eyes back on Bea, “as I was rushing out of the palace because you’d tricked me into running into Henry.” She scrunches up her nose, her face set in a grimace. “Did you really think that was all it was going to take?” 

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I thought it was worth a try. Either way, I thought you two deserved to see each other.” 

“I think that’s up to us.” 

“I’m sorry,” she says. He can tell that she means it. 

An attendant walks down the aisle and encourages everyone to take their seats. Bea walks a few rows forward to sit with her mother. Pez, June, Nora, and Alex turn to take their seats. 

Alex’s hands are fidgeting nervously. He tries clenching them together but it’s not working. His heart is racing uncomfortably as he watches Henry walk across the altar and take his place. The Queen isn’t here yet, nor is Philip. It’s not time to start, just time to torture Alex by making him stare at the love of his life, about to marry someone else. 

His breath starts to draw a bit short as he hears commotion from the front. Some member of the family must have arrived. It’s like an active countdown to his worst nightmare. He can feel his hands starting to sweat. On top of it all, he starts to feel a bit lightheaded. Looking up at Henry, he feels sick to his stomach, like he’s going to pass out or puke. A lingering sense of doom covers him like a blanket. 

Alex shakes his head, unable to take it any longer. He taps June’s knee and widens his eyes as she looks over at him. She immediately clocks what’s going on with him, concern covering her face. “I can’t do this,” he whispers. “I…” He tries to take a deep breath and is struggling. “You guys were right. I can’t do this.” 

Before June can respond, Alex jumps up and runs from his seat. At the entrance to the quire, he looks back, hoping for one last look at Henry. What he doesn’t expect is for the man to be staring back at him. He watches him for one long second before turning and running for the nearest exit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! See you on Tuesday!


	9. Game Time Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for that cliffhanger. Hope this helps!

Henry stares at Alex’s departing figure, knowing the agony is clear on his face. He’s too beaten down to attempt a poker face at the moment. As Alex’s form disappears around a corner, he can almost feel a tug at an invisible chain between them, urging him to follow. 

His breath draws short, the way he feels when a panic attack is starting to set in. He doesn’t know how he thought he could do this at all. Watching Alex literally run away from it feels like a reminder of just how horrible his fate really is. 

He’s still staring at the place where he last saw Alex when his mother approaches him. She turns him to face the altar as she stands next to him. Her arm is tight against his back. “Do you remember what I told you earlier? The saying your father and I had?” Henry nods. “Henry, love, it’s your turn to be brave.” 

Henry’s head whips over to stare at his mother. The look in her eyes is clear: she knows. “Mum, I —” 

“I haven’t been very present in the past few years and I regret that. Seeing you yesterday, it woke me up somehow. It all suddenly clicked. I think on some level I knew, but the look of him and then the look of you…” she trails off, closing her eyes. “This isn’t right, Henry. It’s never been more clear to me than in this moment. If you aren’t the only one feeling the way you feel, then you shouldn’t be here.” 

“And what about Gran?” 

“Don’t you worry about her. You worry about you. I’ll handle your grandmother. You deserve so much more than this, my darling.” She turns to stand in front of him and watches his face intently, cupping her hands around his cheeks. “It’s your turn to be brave. Now get the hell out of here.” 

Henry’s eyes fill with tears, a sense of hope buoying him unexpectedly. He wraps his arms tightly around his mother. “Thank you,” he whispers. 

“Go, before she arrives,” Catherine urges. 

He presses a kiss to her cheek and runs off to the side, rushing into Poet’s Corner and then down one of the cloisters. Commotion sounds from behind him, but he pays it no mind. He has to find Alex. Freezing at one of the windows, he sees a figure out in the cloister garth, on the opposite corner from him. 

Henry takes off running, desperate to reach him. Once he reaches an entrance for the green, he sprints across it until he’s right behind the man. “Alex,” he says, panting slightly. 

Alex turns around, tears falling down his face. The sight pains Henry more than he wants to admit. Alex shakes his head in confusion. “Henry, what...what are you doing here?” 

“I couldn’t do it,” Henry says. “Not without you.” 

A look of hope is immediately dashed by disappointment. Alex looks down at his feet, wiping at his cheeks. “Look, I know what I said. I know I said I’d be there to support you, but I just can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t watch you go through with this. I —” 

“No,” Henry cries, stepping forward, his arms outstretched. He desperately wants to take Alex in his arms, but he needs to be clear first. “I should have phrased that differently. I mean…” He takes a deep breath, watching Alex closely. “I couldn’t do it  _ if it’s not you.  _ I just...I couldn’t.” 

Alex’s eyes grow wide, tears still falling. “What?” 

Feeling some of the bravery his mother encouraged, Henry takes Alex’s hands in his. “I shouldn’t have let it get this far. I know all of you tried to tell me not to. I only gave into Gran’s demands because I thought you’d moved on. But the moment you told me that wasn’t the case, I should have ended this farce. I’m sorry I let it get this far, but I’m here now. And I can’t go through with it. Not if I could be with you.” 

He feels Alex squeeze his hands, a smile of disbelief spreading on Alex’s face. “Are you serious?” 

Henry takes a small step closer. “Deadly.” He releases Alex’s hands and cups his face instead. “I love you, Alex. And I —” 

He’s cut off as Alex surges forward and kisses him. Henry sighs against his lips, leaning in further and returning the embrace. His arms close tightly around Alex, never wanting to let him go again. Alex’s mouth slides open and Henry deepens the kiss. 

Alex pulls away suddenly, watching Henry like he can’t believe he’s right before him. “I love you too,” he breathes. 

Henry presses his forehead to Alex’s. “I’ve a million things I feel I should apologize for,” he says. 

“Me too,” Alex agrees. “But first, I think we should probably get the fuck out of here.” 

“Good call,” Henry says, nodding his head. He glances to the cloister behind them, wishing he knew the exits and entrances to Westminster Abbey better. 

“There are a lot of people outside,” Alex reminds him, looking a bit nervous. “It would probably be best if they didn’t immediately know it was you leaving the abbey.” 

“You’re right. But how do we do that?” 

Alex stares at him like he’s thinking something over. “Okay, take off your jacket and your cumberbund.” 

“Alex, this is hardly the time.” 

He rolls his eyes at Henry. It’s absurd the things Henry’s missed about him, but that is certainly one of them. “That’s not what I mean.” Alex shrugs out of his jacket and Henry raises one skeptical brow. “Take off all the things I said. And put on my jacket.” 

Henry goes with it. Stripping off the pieces Alex said, he takes Alex’s proffered jacket and pulls it on, freezing slightly when Alex reaches up and starts messing up his hair. Patting it gently, he can feel strands sticking up in random places. It must look just like it did all the times Alex ran his fingers greedily through his hair. Based on the grin on his face, Alex must agree. 

Alex reaches in the pocket of the jacket and pulls out his sunglasses. “Wear these.” 

“You think this’ll work?” 

“Don’t really have much of a choice. I left my hoodies and baseball hats at home.” 

Henry slides the glasses on. “Fair enough.” They run into the closest cloister, leaving Henry’s clothes in a pile in a corner. 

“Know a way out of here?” 

He glances down the end of the corridor and nods, taking Alex’s hand in his before running off in that direction. They pause just at the door, looking out to see how many people are out there. “It’s going to look suspicious.” 

“Who cares? We’ve gotta get away before someone drags you down that aisle.”

A large cry of cheers pours from the street. Either the Queen has arrived or Emma has arrived. Either way, most people are probably looking in that direction and not at the side of the abbey. Henry squeezes Alex’s hand tight in his and runs. 

“Which way is the procession running?” 

“Probably toward Buckingham.” Henry leads him in the opposite direction. They pause at a street, waiting for cars to pass. They take off again and run toward the river. Alex slows down as he pulls his phone from his pocket. “What are you doing?” 

“Calling in reinforcements.” 

By the time they reach Lambeth Bridge, trying to walk at normal speeds when they’re around other people, so as not to look suspicious, Alex has gotten ahold of whoever he’s calling. 

“I need you to pick me up.” Henry can only hear his side of the call. “No, I’m not at the abbey. How long do you think it’ll take you to get to your car and to some place? I don’t really want to stop moving.” He turns to Henry. “Where do you think we can get to? Yes, I’m with someone. No, I won’t say who.”

“There’s the National Theater just past Waterloo Bridge,” Henry suggests. Alex moves his phone from his ear and looks at how long it will take them to walk there. He nods to Henry. 

“National Theater. Think you can be there in like 20 minutes?” There seems to be some grumbling on the other end. “Could you be there in like 20 minutes to save my ass?” A triumphant smile crosses Alex’s face and he squeezes Henry’s hand. “Great.” 

The two of them pick up their pace and rush down to the pedestrian path on the other side of the river. Once they’re walking at calm, normal speeds, no one seems to notice them. Henry’s got on Alex’s sunglasses and apparently Alex is relatively anonymous to Brits. It feels like they’re hiding in plain sight. 

Henry keeps checking his watch as they get closer and closer to the National Theater. “Who did you call?” 

“Cash.” 

“Do you think he’s close? We’re almost there.” 

Alex shrugs, keeping his head moving, watching the people around them. “Maybe. I could call him again, but I’d probably get chewed out.” 

Henry laughs. “We can wait.” 

Once they’re close to the National Theater, they mill around at the pedestrian entrance to Waterloo Bridge. Henry watches Alex, seeing how nervous he is. All he wants to do is take him in his arms and tell him it’ll be all right. He’s starting to believe that it will be again. Ultimately, he thinks that waiting until they’re in a more private location would be better. 

Alex pulls out his phone and is pretending to take pictures of something. “What are you doing?” 

“We’re going to look weird if we’re just waiting here. Might as well look like dumbass tourists.” Henry can’t deny his logic. 

Suddenly, a large black car speeds up next to them. The window rolls down and Cash is glaring at them. “Him? Are you fucking kidding me?” Cash asks. Henry tries not to be offended. 

“Now do you see why I couldn’t tell you over the phone?” 

“Alex,” Cash scolds, “This is crazy.” 

“No, it’s not! We need a ride. Are you going to give it to us or should we bustle around London looking for a cab?” 

Cash continues to glare at them before eventually sighing. “Get in.” Alex opens the back door and ushers Henry in. The door isn’t even closed before Cash has taken off again. “Where are we headed?” 

“Uh, I don’t know.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Alex!” 

Henry can see him adopting a defensive position. “We were a bit more focused on getting away from the biggest event of the year unnoticed with one of us being the fucking guest of honor. We’ll figure something out. Just drive in the other direction from the Abbey.” 

A thought occurs to Henry. He can’t help but wonder if it’s a good idea or not. Glancing at Alex, he takes in the tense posture, the nervousness as he looks frantically out the window. What they need is a genuine escape. “Head to the royal airstrip,” Henry advises. “There’s a plane waiting there.” 

Alex watches him as Cash agrees. “Is that there for your…” Alex trails off instead of finishing his question. 

“Yes.” 

“Gotcha.” 

The car ride is long and silent. Henry’s not quite sure what to say. More than anything, they’re focused on getting out of dodge. Alex is going with him, so theoretically, they’ll have plenty of time to talk. Still, he keeps looking over at Alex, unsure of what the stiffness in his posture means. Alex is usually loose and easygoing. Henry’s the tense, stiff one. They’d held hands their entire walk away from the abbey, but now, Henry’s too nervous to take his hand again. 

“And where are we going once we get to the plane?” Cash asks. 

Alex and Henry look at each other. “I’m not going on your honeymoon.” 

Henry shakes his head. “I’m not asking you to. Just giving us means of a getaway.” 

“Alex,” Cash says, his voice stern. “Where are we going?” 

“I’ll figure it out by the time we get there.” He pulls out his phone again, his finger hovering between texts and calls. “Screw it,” he says under his breath. He presses calls, specifically, his father’s number. Alex glances over and sees Henry staring at him. As it starts to ring, he puts the phone on speaker for them both to hear. 

“Hello?” Oscar says in a croaky voice. Henry realizes that it’s at least 6:00 am where he is, maybe earlier depending on which coast. 

“Pa, hi. I need your help.” 

There’s a rustling on the other end, like Oscar is sitting up in bed. “What’s wrong,  _ Mijo _ ? Are you okay?” 

“I need a place to lay low for a bit. I can’t go back to D.C.” 

There’s a long pause before Oscar says anything. “Weren’t you supposed to be at —” 

“Yeah, I was, but I need to get as far away from there as I can, okay? Can I go to the lakehouse?” 

“Of course you can,” his father says. Alex nods on his end, a relieved look temporarily on his face. “You can do whatever you’d like.” Another pause follows. “You wanna talk about it?” 

“Not right now. Maybe another time.” 

“All right. I’ll make some arrangements for things to be sent there. Not sure if it’ll beat you or not.” 

“Well, I still have to cross the ocean,” Alex reminds him. 

Oscar hums a reply. “Right. Let me know when you land.” 

“I will,” Alex says. “Thank you, Pa. Oh, and can you do me a favor and not mention this to anyone else? Especially Mom.” 

There’s a sigh on Oscar’s end. “This is going to be quite the story. Sure, I’ll keep it a secret.” 

“Great! Thank you!”

When Oscar hangs up, Alex locks his phone with a resigned sigh. “You hear that, Cash? We’re headed to Texas.” 

Cash sighs as well. “Okay.” 

Henry looks at Alex, wondering if he’ll appear any more relaxed. Not quite yet. As for himself, Henry is a bit nervous to go back to Texas with Alex. The last time he was there, he didn’t exactly leave things on the best note. No matter the situation, things feel a bit tense between them right now. Henry can’t help but worry that history might repeat itself and that the lakehouse won’t be good for them.

Alex glances back at Henry, flashing him an exhausted smile. It eases the tightness in Henry’s chest a fraction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are things finally starting to look up???? Yay!


	10. A Royal Getaway

Once Alex is sitting on the plane, he feels like his nerves have calmed  _ a fraction.  _ But only just that much. They can’t get off the ground fast enough for his liking. He keeps picturing this terrifying image of the Queen herself stomping onto the plane and dragging Henry out by the neck of his jacket. 

Henry’s sitting in a seat, watching Alex pace. Cash walks out of the cockpit and stares at Alex as well. “Pilot’s been briefed. We’ll be off shortly.” Alex only nods in reply. “You will have to sit down for take-off.” 

“I will,” Alex replies shortly. 

Cash takes a step closer to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve called in reinforcements to meet us in Austin. You know, extra security. Need more than just myself if we’re looking out for the First Son  _ and  _ a prince.” 

Alex narrows his eyes at him. “Did you call in Secret Service or PPOs?”

Cash sighs. “Secret Service.” 

“Are you sure about these guys? Are they going to be good at keeping our confidences? The only other person who knows about Henry and me on the security team is Amy and she’s stuck in London with June,” Alex points out. 

Cash doesn’t seem to be up for Alex’s third degree. “They’re Secret Service. Yes, they know how to keep a damn secret.” 

“And do they know to keep our whereabouts a secret? Even from my mother?” He can feel Henry watching him as Cash glares at him. 

“Alex, I smuggled you out of the city from the biggest event of the year, with the literal groom in the back of my car, with only minor complaints. I heard you express to your father that you wish things to be a secret. I know you’re nervous of getting away fast enough. So, yes, I picked agents with the highest amount of discretion. I know what the two of you have been through. I’m not going to let it all blow up in your faces. Though, I’ve yet to hear anything resembling a thank you.” Cash huffs out a breath. 

“Thank you, Cash, truly,” Henry says. “I fear that if they’d found me, they’d have marched me down the aisle against my will. It was a bleak life waiting for me on that altar and you helped get me out of there, so thank you. It feels like you helped save my life.” 

Alex watches Cash, sees how moved he is by what Henry’s saying. Cash nods once to him. “You’re welcome, Your Highness.” 

Sticking his hand out, Alex grabs Cash’s arm before he moves past them. “Really, thank you.” 

Cash nods to him as well. “You’re both welcome. I know what you’ve been through and if I can help out with that, I will.” Sighing, he adds, “Now, I’m going to go sit with the pilot since we basically threw him on this plane. Let me know if you need anything. Alex, there’s a bar over there. Might help you chill the fuck out.” 

Alex sits down in the chair nearest to him, directly across from Henry. There’s a long silence as the plane takes off and climbs quickly through the skies. It occurs to Alex that he’s never been alone on a plane with Henry before. If there weren’t a certain tension between them after the  _ months  _ of absence, he thinks this ride would go differently. “If anyone looks for our flight manifest, odds are that they won’t know where we’re going once we hit Austin,” Alex says. “We should be able to keep our whereabouts a pretty good secret. I mean, my mom might figure it out, but anyone on your side should be in the dark.”

Henry simply nods. And the silence grows again. Alex feels like he needs to say something, but he doesn’t know what. Henry looks like he feels the same way. He opens his mouth to say something, but Alex’s phone starts ringing. 

“I need to take this,” Alex says. “It’s June. Hello?” 

“Alex!” June sounds a bit frantic. “Where are you?” 

He glances out the window, looking at the clouds between their plane and the ground. “Umm, on a plane.” 

She groans a bit on the other end. “Fuck,” she whispers. “Alex, you’ve gotta find a way to get back here! Henry didn’t get married!!” 

Alex stifles a laugh as he looks across at Henry. “Yeah, I know.” 

“Wait, you do?” 

“Well yeah,” Alex says. “Whose plane do you think I’m on?” 

“You’re...together?” 

“Yes.” 

“Thank god!” June turns away from the phone. “Guys, they’re together!” He can hear voices in the background. 

“Where are you?” he asks. 

“Nora, Bea, and I are all at Pez’s apartment.” There’s someone talking. “No, Pez, I refuse to call it a flat. I’m an American.” Alex laughs as he hears them all getting riled up. “Anyway,” June says, “where are you going?” 

Alex pauses for a long moment. “I’m not going to tell you.” Henry’s eyes widen as he listens to Alex’s side of the conversation. Alex shrugs in response.

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m not telling you.” 

“Why the hell are you not telling me?” June demands. “Alex, you’ve gotta tell me where you’re going!” 

“Look, I can’t! I promised Mom and Zahra that I wouldn’t make a scene at the wedding, and even though I did not actually break up the wedding by my own doing, I don’t see them thinking that. And they assigned you as my babysitter. I’m giving you plausible deniability for when they inevitably turn to you to ask what I’m doing.” 

June sighs. “I’ll just lie. Tell me.” 

“I’m not doing that. Plausible deniability, June.” 

A silence stretches between them. Alex can hear voices in the background. “Promise me that you’ll be safe.”

“I will.” 

“And tell me when you land.” 

“I can do that too.” 

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you soon?” 

“Sure.” He clears his throat. “Talk to you later, June.” Alex hangs up and looks up at Henry. “Apparently all our friends are together and happy for us.” 

Henry smiles. “Good to know.” 

“Bea’s with them,” Alex says, even if it feels risky. 

“Good for her.” 

Alex’s eyes linger on him. “I know stuff has been awful with her, but...in her own, deeply ineffectual way, I think she was trying to help you. Or us.” 

“I think I know that, somewhere deep down. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to forgive her,” Henry says in a small voice. 

“You should absolutely do it on your own terms,” Alex says. “No one is going to rush you. Least of all me.”

There’s a beat of silence before Henry perks up one brow. “They made you promise not to ruin the wedding?” Henry asks. The beginnings of a grin tug at Henry’s mouth. 

Alex laughs easily. “Yeah, apparently I  _ have a reputation  _ for ruining royal weddings or something. I can’t imagine what they’re talking about.” Alex rolls his eyes. “They didn’t really trust me to go.” 

“Well,” Henry says, the grin growing on his face, “they were sort of right. You were the reason I couldn’t do it.” 

Alex shakes his head. “If the moment should ever arise, please just lie and say you were planning to run for it the whole time.” 

“I don’t know if that’s believable, but all right.” Henry says with a nod. The silences between them are becoming more common, but not yet completely comfortable. Henry’s hand falls to the arm rest between him and the seat next to him. He watches Alex for a long moment before opening his mouth and closing it again. 

“What?” Alex asks. 

“Nothing.” It doesn’t look like there’s  _ nothing _ on his mind. Eighteen months ago, Alex would have known exactly what to say to him to get him to talk. Now, he’s not so sure. It’s just another reason to curse the Queen. 

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me.” Henry shrugs, sitting stiffly in his seat. Alex moves from his seat and goes to sit next to him. “What’s wrong?” 

Henry’s eyes linger on Alex, flitting over his face. “Nothing.” Alex opens his mouth to protest, but Henry takes his hand. “I mean it. Nothing is wrong.” He squeezes his hand, staring down at their fingers laced together. “Not now.” 

A yawn startles out of Henry. Alex is almost surprised by how charmed he is by it. He tightens his hand around Henry’s. “Have you been sleeping?” 

He laughs dryly in reply. “I’m sure you know I haven’t. I can’t imagine a world in which I would actually have been able to sleep in the last few months.” 

“Well, it’s a long flight. I mean, you’re the only one of us who’s made this flight from London to Austin before, so I’m sure you know how long it really is.” A look between them shows they’re both remembering the lakehouse trip nearly two years ago. The nervous knot in Alex’s stomach tightens ever so slightly. “You should sleep. You probably need it.” 

Henry nods his head almost sleepily. He eyes Alex’s shoulder. “Do you mind if I…?” 

Alex smiles at him, snuggling down in his seat and patting his shoulder. “Of course.” Henry smiles back at him, relaxing in his seat and laying his head on Alex’s shoulder. Their hands are still intertwined between them. Alex can’t help but rest his head against Henry’s. “Rest up, Henry. I’ll be here.” 

Unsurprisingly, Alex ends up falling asleep as well. There’s something about the gentle hum of the plane’s engines and the familiar and comforting smell of Henry next to him. It wipes away the stress of the day just enough to let him sleep. He probably needs it just as much as Henry. 

Cash wakes them both up when they’re an hour outside Austin. They’d tossed and turned occasionally throughout the flight, trying to get as comfortable as possible, but after the spike of adrenaline from their escape from the abbey, their bodies demanded sleep. 

Once he’s awake enough to remember what’s really going on, Alex starts to get nervous again. There’s been an underlying fear of what will happen next since he turned around and saw Henry approaching him outside the abbey. Now, he fears the Queen a bit less than he fears Zahra’s wrath. There’s no doubt that the news of Henry running from his wedding will be everywhere. With the exception of calling his dad and June, he’s been avoiding his phone. When they hit the ground, he plans to do the same. 

Still, he can imagine the things Zahra will throw in his face. With any coverage of Henry bolting from his wedding, his mother and Zahra are going to turn to him. Alex could have been in Hawaii and they’d still probably blame him. It makes him want to look for news stories about it so he can prepare his defense. But instead, he pushes his phone deeper into his pocket. 

If nothing else, he needs to focus on fixing things with Henry first. They’re both so tentative around the other. It’s another reason for his nerves. How much can two people change in just under two years? He thinks he probably changed a lot from September of 2019 to October of 2020 with Henry’s influence. But once he’s been without that…

And how much has Henry changed in that time? His circumstances have been hell. Will Alex still be enough for him? What if all of the running and escaping was for nothing? 

He glances over at Henry blinking himself awake and thinks of how much it would kill him to lose him again so fast. 

When Henry looks his way, Alex just forces a smile and pushes his thoughts down as far as he can. Even yesterday, Alex never thought he’d have this chance with Henry ever again. He doesn’t want to blow it by being scared of things that may not even come to pass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! See y'all on Tuesday!


	11. A Breath of Fresh Air

Waiting outside the small airport when they land is a red Jeep Wrangler, the doors and windows off. Alex walks over to it, picking up the note stuck between the wipers and the windshield. 

_ Mijo,  _

_ This was the best I could do on short notice. Sorry that it’s not OUR Jeep. Be safe. _

_ -Pa  _

Alex laughs, feeling his father’s support swelling up in him like a balm. He turns back to Henry who’s lingering by the plane and waves the note over his head. “I think we’ve got a ride!” Henry shakes his head with a grin and walks over. 

The other security members lump in with Cash, surely getting briefed. As Alex watches them, he can see a few curious glances over in his and Henry’s direction. He wants to believe that it’s just a surprise that the Prince of Wales who was supposed to be getting married today is in fact here in Texas. Maybe he needs to just keep telling himself that. It would be a surprise for anyone who doesn’t know the truth. 

After Cash lets them know they’re ready to go, Alex settles into the driver’s seat. Henry takes his place in the passenger seat, his eyes on Alex as he gets his seat ready. Pulling out his phone, Alex flips it on airplane mode and do not disturb and hands it to Henry. 

“Why are you putting it on airplane mode now?” 

“You’re going to choose the music and I’m sure you, nor I, would like to see all the news alerts that pop up once the world finally knows what happened,” Alex says, looking over and raising one brow. “And that’s if they don’t already know.” 

Henry takes a deep breath. “I’m sure they do. Gran can’t put a gag order on every photographer or person that was in attendance or in the crowd outside the abbey. Surely, people would have known something was up when the wedding just never started. And that’s if they didn’t spot us leaving.” 

“I didn’t look at my phone while we were on the plane,” Alex tells him. “It is possible there’s already been some announcement.” He watches Henry a bit nervously. “Do you wanna look or do you wanna wait?” 

Biting his lip, Henry takes in a deep breath through his nose. “I want to wait.” 

“Perfect. Then that’s what we’ll do.” Alex unlocks his phone and puts it back in Henry’s hands. “Turn on something good.” 

“I’ll do my best,” Henry says with a laugh. 

He ends up turning on one of Alex’s own road trip playlists and it puts a smile on Alex’s face as he pulls out onto the highway. The hour and a half drive from the airport to the lake starts off on a high note. With each mile, he can feel himself relaxing a bit. A reassuring list starts forming in his head. 

  1. No one knows Henry is with Alex
  2. The Queen has no idea where Alex would go to hide out
  3. His dad promised to keep their whereabouts a secret
  4. His mother has never been to his father’s lakehouse
  5. They’re going to have time to actually chill out



As he drives, he takes some soothing breaths. One of the hobbies June tried to get him into was yoga, but Alex’s brain couldn’t slow down long enough to enjoy it. Still, he’ll try the deep breathing occasionally. Sometimes that helps if nothing else does. 

No matter how relaxed he starts to get, though, another list starts forming in his head. 

  1. What if they’ve changed too much?
  2. What if they’re not compatible anymore?
  3. What if the love they have for each other isn’t enough?
  4. What if Henry leaves him at the lakehouse again?



The last note is, admittedly,  _ improbable,  _ but he can’t help but have that fear somewhere within him. The fact of the matter is, the last time he brought Henry here, he left. 

Yes, Alex and Henry sorted that out ages ago, but by the next summer trip to the lakehouse, Henry was engaged. It was, overall, one of the worst trips to Lake LBJ that Alex had ever had. Their annual trip fell two weeks after Henry’s engagement was announced. At the time, Alex had barely started being functional at work again and his free time was filled with nothing but a concerning amount of sadness. So the week he went back to the lakehouse, he couldn’t see the memories he’d made as a kid or in any of the years before he’d brought Henry. He just saw the porch swing where Henry’d kissed him and Alex realized he was in love. He saw the boat where he’d watched Henry and his dad bond over sailing and politics. He saw the bunk beds that he and Henry had fooled around in, even though the point of putting them in that room was to avoid that. He saw the edge of the dock where he’d stripped off his clothes and jumped in the lake, ready to profess his love to Henry. 

It had all been painful. He knew his family had been keeping a close eye on him as well. Nora and June kept trying to distract him, but it didn’t help. He was miserable and sad and the place was just another memory of that. Nothing any of them did changed that. 

The fact that the first time he’s going back to the lakehouse since then is  _ only  _ with Henry is a bit mind-boggling. He has no idea how long they’ll be needing to seek refuge there, but he doesn’t want to rush things. After the last 18 months, they need some time alone to figure everything out. 

Alex is still a bit afraid or a bit nervous, but Texas is working its magic. He can feel his body growing a bit looser, his face getting a bit less tight, and his arms relaxing. Each mile brings them further into Texas and further away from England. 

The nerves that keep spiking within him have more to do with the person in the car next to him than the Queen or his mother. 

As familiar scenery races by, his nerves keep getting pushed to the back of his mind. An easy smile starts to grace his face as he leans his head back against the headrest. His hands are light around the wheel, his whole body starting to ease the closer he gets to one of his favorite places. 

“Should have known it would be Texas that finally relaxed you,” Henry says, a grin on his face. Alex looks over with a matching expression. The music has been a constant throughout the drive, but their conversations have been short and infrequent. It’s like they both know they have a lot to talk about and neither of them wants to do so yet. 

“Maybe it’s just the distance from an international spectacle,” Alex jokes. 

Henry laughs, reaching out and poking his cheek. “You  _ are  _ an international spectacle.” 

Alex shakes his head with a laugh, glancing over at Henry before looking back at the road. In that moment, they feel like  _ them.  _ He reaches over and grabs Henry’s hand, linking their fingers together. Out of the corner of his eye, he thinks he sees Henry relax a bit into his seat a bit as well. 

Soon enough, they’ve reached his dad’s lakehouse and both of them are jumping out. All the eagerness seems to dissipate during the trip from the car to the porch. Alex is nervous again, and beside him, he can tell that Henry is too. Like ripping a bandaid off, Alex hesitates with his hand over the handle before gripping it and throwing the door open. Henry follows him in, but keeps his distance a bit. 

Alex walks through the house, impressed with how quickly his dad was able to accomplish things. He must know a really great housekeeper here in Texas. Walking over to the fridge, Alex opens it and his jaw drops. “How did he do this?” 

Henry steps up behind him, noting the fridge, full to capacity with beer, meats, vegetables, fruits, cheeses, and snacks. When he opens the freezer, he sees plenty of Helados and his heart soars. Oscar was absolutely the right person to call. 

Glancing around the place, Alex feels like he needs to do something. He doesn’t have any luggage to store or anything to clean up. There’s a nervous energy running through him that he’s not sure he wants to deal with yet. Henry sits down on the couch. Alex could join him, could go right over and curl up next to him. 

But he doesn’t. “I’m gonna go check on the boat. Maybe if it’s working, we can go out on it at some point.” 

“All right,” Henry says with a yawn. Alex pauses in the door, watching Henry. Nodding to himself, he pushes out the door and gives himself some space. 

Twenty-five minutes later, Cash finds him out on the boat. “What are you doing?” 

Alex looks up, and sees Cash standing just inside the deck. “Uh, I came to make sure the boat is able to run.” He gestures over to the engine. 

“Yeah, I heard you turn it on and then off again like twenty minutes ago. I meant what are you doing now?” He looks both ways up and down the deck. “I don’t see Henry out here.” 

“That’s because he’s inside.” 

Cash gives him an unimpressed look. “Alex, if you don’t want to be with Henry anymore, you need to just tell him.” 

Alex’s head whips up. “That’s not it  _ at all,  _ Cash!” 

“Then what the hell are you doing?” 

He drops his head in his hands. “I don’t know,” he cries. A few tears leak past his eyes. “All I have wanted for two and a half years was to be with Henry and to actually get to  _ be  _ with Henry. And now I have the best chance of that and I’m…” He sighs. “I’m terrified.” 

Cash walks over and sits down next to him. “Maybe you should tell him that.” 

“I probably should, yeah, but I don’t want him to think it has anything to do with him. Because it doesn’t. I’m terrified about his family ripping us apart again. I’m terrified that after all this time we were forced apart, we became different people and we won’t be the same together again.” Alex sighs, tears falling down his cheeks. “I’m afraid that after all the time we spent apart with me wishing to be with him, I’m just gonna lose him again.” 

Laying a hand on Alex’s shoulder, Cash sighs. “It’s totally understandable to be scared, Alex. But don’t you think he might be scared of some of those things too? You’re never going to get past it all if you ignore him and keep it all to yourself.” He stands up and walks back to the edge of the deck. “You deserve to be happy and you’re not going to find that if you’re not honest about how you’re feeling.” He glances back toward the house and then looks at Alex pointedly. “That man risked his family’s wrath and ran away from the biggest wedding of the year to be with you. Maybe keep that in mind.” 

Alex nods to Cash’s departing figure. The man makes some fantastic points, he’s just weighted under crippling fear. Eventually, he sighs, smacking his cheeks, and making himself walk back inside. He’s been wishing to have a chance with Henry for  _ months.  _ It’s time for him to walk in and face whatever fears linger so that he can actually be with him. 

His heart sinks a bit when he walks in the door. Henry is passed out on the couch. A small smile tugs at the corner of Alex’s mouth as he watches him. He really must be hard up for sleep if he’s on his second nap of the day. It’s June in Texas, so it’s not exactly cold, but Alex grabs the blanket out of the closet anyway. He lays down in front of Henry and wraps the blanket over them. As he tries to gently make himself comfortable, Henry’s arm comes around him. Alex glances back and sees that his eyes are still closed. With a smile to himself, Alex closes his eyes as well and burrows further into Henry’s embrace. 

A long conversation still needs to happen, but this is good for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, we're halfway there! And not to worry, I promise these two will actually talk soon. Can't put it off forever, right? Thanks for reading!


	12. Long Overdue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this a bit early because I have a super busy day tomorrow and I was genuinely worried I'd forget to post. Enjoy!

Once they wake up, Alex’s stomach immediately alerts him to the fact that he has not eaten. He turns to Henry and says, “Okay, I’m going to make something to eat. I have no idea what time my body thinks it is and I haven’t eaten all day.” 

Henry nods. “That sounds like a good plan. I think while you cook, I’m going to take a shower.” He sniffs himself. “I just...I need to wash the day off me.” 

“Makes sense,” Alex says from the entrance to the kitchen. “I wish you had other clothes to change into.” 

Henry’s nose scrunches, but he shrugs and trudges off in the direction of the bathroom. Alex watches him go before turning to go in the kitchen. He scours through the fridge, trying to find the things that will cook the fastest. 

By the time Henry gets out of the shower, the rice is cooked and the chicken, peppers, and onions are just about finished up. It’s a simple meal, but it’ll feed them. Henry walks in, his hair still wet and pushed back from his forehead. Alex’s eyes linger on him, on the sliver of skin showing between his shirt and his pants. 

“Smells wonderful,” Henry says. He steps up next to Alex, but doesn’t touch him. “Anything I can do to help?” Alex lifts one eyebrow at him. “What? I can certainly be helpful even if I barely know my way around a kitchen. Just tell me what to do.” 

Alex laughs, shaking his head. “You took kind of a long shower so it’s close to being finished. None of it had to cook for very long.”

“Sorry about that,” Henry says. 

“Shower’s a good place to think.” Alex shrugs and turns back to the stove. When he glances back at Henry, he’s watching him with a curious look on his face. 

They settle at the table when it’s all finished cooking, Alex sitting at the end and Henry sitting in a spot on the side. After his first bite, Henry moans a bit. It definitely doesn’t make Alex feel anything in particular. “Alex, this is delicious.” 

He grins to himself. “Thank you. I’m glad you like it. It was pretty easy to make.” 

“Well, I’ll be sure to help more next time either way.” 

“I’d like that.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Henry slow his movements. He looks over and Henry’s sitting there, staring down at his plate. “What?”

“Oh, nothing.” 

“Henry.” 

He looks over at Alex and sighs. “It’s just that we’re being so... _ polite.  _ If there’s one thing that you and I have never been to each other, it’s polite.” 

Alex’s mouth flattens into a tight line. Clearly Henry’s feeling the same strain that he is. “You’re right.” 

“I mean, it’s not bad. It’s just…” 

“It’s just not us,” Alex finishes for him. Henry nods. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot today,” he admits. “About the distance and time that have stood between us. That stand between now and the last time we were really together. It’s a lot of time for people to change.” 

“Well, yes, I suppose.” 

Alex stares down at his plate. “I guess I just worry…” He trails off, looking anywhere but at Henry. “Maybe it’s been too long.” 

Henry’s fork clatters to his plate. Alex looks up in time to see the heartbroken look on his face as tears shine in his eyes. Suddenly, he pushes his chair back and stands up, taking several steps away from Alex. “I understand,” he says in a choked voice. “It was a foolish thing to try for after all this time. If you’ll allow me to spend the night, I can be out of your way tomorrow.” He turns around and rushes from the room, heading toward one of the bedrooms. 

In Henry’s absence, Alex sits there, shaking his head, wondering what the hell just happened. What did he say to make Henry think he was asking him to leave? He jumps up from his chair and chases after him. By the time he barges into the room with the light on, Henry already has tears running down his face. It makes Alex’s heart ache. 

“Henry,” he says, the breath knocked out of him. “I didn’t mean I want you to leave,” he adds immediately. Henry stares at him, blinking tears out of his eyes occasionally. “I love you. And every day for one year, eight months, and two days, I thought of nothing but how much I wanted to be with you. Longer than that actually, because I would think about it constantly when we were together but living on opposite sides of the ocean.” 

He heaves out a deep breath before continuing. “I’m just scared. That’s all. I’m scared that we’ve changed too much. I’m scared that the time apart is going to be too much to cross. I’m scared that even if we are able to conquer all that, something else is going to get in the way. I mean, we already had enough going against us before with us both being closeted and being in an international relationship, but in the end, it wasn’t really either of those things that split us up.

“But I want to be with you. I want to try. I have thought of nothing but how much I want to be with you. I struggled with being apart, I know that. I’m sorry that I was the one who stopped calling. It was stupid of me and it didn’t make me miss you any less. I don’t know why I thought it would be easier if I wasn’t talking to you everyday. It didn’t help at all. I barely made it through knowing that you were engaged. I couldn’t make it through what I thought was going to be your wedding. And not to bring up stuff we’ve already hashed out once, but if you leave me here again, I don’t think I’m going to be able to handle that.” 

“I’m sorry,” Henry whispers. 

“Don’t be sorry.  _ I’m _ sorry that I’ve been weird and tense and uncomfortable. I’m just scared. I’ve never wanted something as much as this before. As of this morning, I figured I would never have a chance to be with you again. I figured I’d spend the rest of my life hoping for you to get divorced. But now that we’re here and the anxiety of escaping London is at least mostly behind us, I’m scared that the thing that’s going to ruin us is…us.” He holds his arms tightly across his abdomen. “What if you don’t like the person I’ve become in the last couple of years? What if you don’t want me anymore?” he asks in a whisper, tears falling down his cheeks. 

Henry breathes out a watery laugh. “I think I’m the one who should really be having that concern, not you. Because...I can’t imagine you doing anything that would make me not want you.” 

“What if I went on a murder spree and killed a ton of people?” 

“Alex!” Henry cries. “Why are you —”

“I don’t know,” Alex says, interrupting him. “I know we have so much to talk about — because we  _ have  _ been apart for a long time — and I was scared that if we did, something was going to come up and we’d…” His sentence trails off and he just stares at Henry, both of them with tears running down their faces. 

“I love you, Alex,” Henry whispers. “I don’t think there would have been anything else to finally snap me out of the torment I’d been living in. Seeing you yesterday was the crack and watching you walk away just burst it open. I know that a lot of time has passed since we’ve actually been together, but it hasn’t changed the way that I feel about you. I’m scared too. I worry about the same things. I  _ definitely  _ worry that you won’t want me now. But I also know that I’d rather spend a lifetime with you filling in the gaps of the year plus apart and getting to know the new people we’ve become than living any other way.” 

Alex breathes out a relieved laugh, more tears falling down his cheeks. “Me too.” He sighs with a helpless shrug. “I just want you.” 

Henry opens his mouth before shaking his head and closing it. Alex is just about to press him on it when he surges toward him, cupping his hands around his face, and kissing him deeply, pushing his back against the wall. 

Their kiss in the cloisters this morning was one of urgency, of relief. This is all desperation and passion, a release of all the feelings built up between them in their time apart. Alex’s hands grapple for his shirt, holding on tight. His back is pressed against the wall, Henry pressed right against his front. Alex sighs against his lips and Henry takes the opportunity to slide his tongue in Alex’s mouth. Their bodies move together, rediscovering all the ways they used to do this. 

“God, I want you,” Henry pants against his lips. Alex just groans in reply, slotting his thigh between Henry’s legs. They both moan as Henry ruts against his leg, somehow holding Alex even tighter. Henry moves his mouth from Alex’s and presses kisses against his jaw, working his way back to his ear. “I have thought about nothing but you fucking me til I can barely walk for longer than I care to admit,” Henry says in a low voice in his ear. 

Heat pools in Alex’s stomach. He can feel himself growing hard against Henry’s leg. “Jesus Christ, Henry,” he breathes. Shoving Henry backward, he reaches and rips his shirt open. Two or three buttons fly off in opposite directions. Alex doesn’t care. He presses forward, kissing, licking, and sucking at Henry’s collarbone. 

“I don’t have any other clothes,” Henry says in a suddenly rational voice. 

Alex laughs against his neck. “Well, I guess you’ll be one of those beach bums who never buttons his shirt.” 

Henry pulls back and looks at him, his eyes dark. “Maybe I just won’t wear  _ any  _ clothes.” 

“Oh god, I’m good with that,” Alex sighs. “Let’s get them off now.” He reaches greedily for Henry’s pants, throwing off his belt and undoing the button, shoving his pants down once they’re open. Henry stands in his boxers, working open Alex’s shirt. “You’re going too slowly,” Alex whines. 

“Shut up,” Henry says, nipping at his jaw. Alex moans in reply. He reaches down and cups Henry through his boxers, working his hand up and down his length. Henry releases a stuttered breath. “How is this supposed to make me go any faster?” 

Alex looks up at him, a grin on his face. “I don’t know. It’s just been too fucking long since I’ve touched you.” Henry sighs and drops his head to Alex’s shoulder, his hands clenched in his shirt while Alex rubs up and down his length, feeling Henry grow harder beneath his hand. “Wait,” Alex says suddenly, a frantic thought occurring to him. 

Henry looks up at him just in time for him to drop his hands and step away from him, leaving the room. “What the hell are you doing?” Henry asks, trailing after him. “What, did you leave the stove on?” 

“No, something much more important.” 

“I swear to god if you go to put away our food, I will throw you to the floor, pin you down, and have my way with you on the bloody kitchen floor,” Henry cries. “That is not much more important, as you say.” 

“That’s not what I’m doing!” Alex says over his shoulder as he walks into the bathroom. He ducks down and opens the cabinet beneath the sink. It’s a long shot, but he’s trying it. There’s a spare hair dryer for June and Nora, a hot water bottle, a heating pad, a bag of balloons that June stashed there after a water balloon fight broke out. Alex groans as he stands up. Henry’s standing right behind him. His hands gravitate to Alex’s waist and he tries to ignore the easy feeling of having Henry’s hands on him again. He pulls on the mirror, opening into the medicine cabinet. 

“Oh, would you look at that,” Henry says with glee. “Condoms. Brilliant.” He grabs the box off the shelf.

Alex sighs. “Yeah, that was what I was looking for.” 

Henry watches him, sees the unease on his face. “Alex, if you were looking for them, why do you seem disgusted by them?” 

“Because they were  _ here,  _ you know? Because either way they were here, I don’t like the answer,” he says. Henry frowns at him, looking confused. “Look, it’s a box of condoms. That means that either 1) someone who comes to this house brought them and left them here. And I don’t want to think about the reason why June or  _ my father  _ would be keeping condoms here and —” 

“Alex, you brought me here. Are you saying you don’t think anyone else who stays in this house should be having sex?” 

He rolls his eyes in response. “Look, when I brought you here, I brought my own condoms and kept them in my bag because no one else needed to know about my sex life!” Henry shakes his head, though a fond grin spreads across his cheeks. “And if no one left them here, that means that…” Alex gags pointedly. “It means that my dad instructed for them to be left for me and I  _ really  _ don’t like that option.” 

“Alex,” Henry says, calmly trying to get his attention. “It’s an unopened, in date box of condoms. What if I promise to distract you from how they got here and we just  _ use  _ them?” Henry glances over Alex’s shoulder with an excited smile. “What do you know, there’s lube too.” 

“Oh god,” Alex says in a small voice. Henry watches him, attempting to wipe the amusement off his face. Alex grabs the box from Henry and turns toward the door. “You’re right.” 

He’s out in the hall as he hears Henry laugh. “Can you say that again? I couldn’t hear it loud enough!” 

Alex flips him off without turning around. He hears hurried footsteps, but is still surprised when Henry pins him to the wall in the hall, turning him around to face him. It looks like there’s something he wants to say, but Alex just leans up and kisses him. Too much of their heat from earlier has dissipated in their hunt for condoms. Henry’s hips shoot forward, rocking against Alex’s. They’re both still half hard, though Alex can feel himself growing harder with the way Henry’s moving against him. 

“Bed,” Alex groans. 

Henry pulls off him with a smack of their lips, rushing off toward the bed. Alex grins and chases after him. He tears his clothes off himself and Henry lets his shirt fall behind him before quickly stripping his boxers off. They both freeze at the sight of the other naked. Alex’s eyes rove over each inch of Henry’s skin. He stares at him like a painting in a museum. For the millionth time, he thinks that it’s been too long. When he finally glances back up at Henry’s face, he sees that Henry’s doing the same thing. As their eyes meet, a shy smile is shared between them. 

Reaching out one hand, Henry invites Alex closer to him. Suddenly, the desperation from moments ago is gone, replaced by a true tenderness between them. Alex steps into Henry’s arms and Henry wraps them around him. His hand travels slowly down Alex’s back as he leans his head down and meets Alex in a long, slow kiss. It still fuels the flames in the pit of Alex’s stomach. Henry’s tongue slides in his mouth, meeting his. Alex reaches up and twists his fingers in Henry’s hair, feeling its familiar soft strands. 

Henry’s hands slide further down, cupping Alex’s ass and pressing their hips together tighter. Alex groans against Henry’s lips, rocking further into him. Pulling back, Henry flashes him a more urgent look as he lays himself back down on the bed. Alex immediately climbs over him once he’s settled. He hovers for a moment, just watching Henry, still a bit in disbelief that they’re here again. It’s clear from the look on his face that Henry feels the same way. He reaches up and rubs his thumb against Alex’s cheek, stretching his hand back into his curls. Both of them smile at each other for a long moment before Alex leans down and kisses him again. The first kiss is languid and hot, but it quickly transitions more into the same desperation from before, bodies writhing beneath each other as their impatience kicks in. 

Henry takes two of Alex’s fingers and sucks on them, just how he had in L.A. the first time they did this. His eyes are nearly black as he watches him. “Please,” he pants. 

That’s all it takes for him to spring into action. He uses one finger, watching Henry’s reactions. Given how long it’s been, he wants to be patient, no matter how desperate they are for each other. The last thing he’d want to do is hurt Henry. When he starts pushing back on his finger, Alex puts in another one, stretching him slowly. 

After Henry gives him the go-ahead, he finds himself being strangely slow at putting on the condom and slicking himself up. Glancing back at Henry, he feels a pull toward him, no matter how much his fear of somehow fucking this up is starting to kick in. As if he can sense it, Henry sits up and kisses Alex softly. When he pulls back, Alex stares at him for a long beat before nodding his head. Henry kisses him once more before he lays back down. 

Alex pushes in, faster than he initially intends. A guttural groan from Henry echoes off the walls. Alex freezes, worried that he’s hurt him. Henry opens his eyes, smiling at him. “No, love,” he says. “You feel so good. Don’t stop.” 

He can’t help but grin, pulling out and pushing back in. Henry nods at him, groaning again. He throws his head back, his eyes closed and Alex hopes to remember the look of him like this forever. Starting out slowly, Alex sets an easy pace for them. Henry’s hips rock up to meet his. Laying his hands on Alex’s ass, Henry whines out, “Faster.” 

Who is he to argue? He moves his hips, holding Henry’s, carrying them both toward the edge. Leaning down, Alex kisses him messily, mostly tongues and teeth. Henry grips his curls at the back of his head, moaning words in his ear that Alex can barely make out. Alex kisses his neck and his jaw and his collarbones. He links their hands together and thrusts his hips faster. Henry arches into him, raising his hips to meet Alex’s. 

He’s going to come too soon and he knows it. Well, it’ll definitely be too soon since Alex never wants this to end. He’s missed it too much. The look of Henry with a smile on his face, sweat on his brow and his hair a mess from Alex’s hands. The obscene sounds of their bodies moving together. The words Henry cries out, praising Alex, demanding more. The way he feels like his skin is on fire each place that Henry’s hands land. The feeling within him while he shares Henry’s body, like he is on the top of the world. It’s all too much and not enough in the most amazing way. 

“Alex, love,” Henry pants, bringing him down for another desperate kiss. When they pull apart, Henry pushes Alex’s hand to his cock. His hips pick up speed as he starts rubbing his hand up and down Henry’s length. He’s going to hit his release soon, and he doesn’t want Henry to be far off. Henry cries out with every new thrust and pull of his cock. They’re both so close. 

Henry pushes the sweaty curls off Alex’s forehead, smiling up at him. It’s such a tender action in the throes of a much more intense moment. Alex slows himself down, deciding to make this last a bit longer. A question forms on Henry’s face, but Alex kisses it away. Going much slower, he thrusts in deep, still making Henry cry out. Henry tries to speed them up, but Alex pins his hips down and kisses him deeply, moving his tongue at the same pace as his thrusts. Henry moans against him. 

He can feel Henry’s nails in his back. “Love, I’m so close. Please.” 

Alex pulls back and looks at him. He’s close too. Again. Taking Henry’s plea to heart, he speeds up again, moving his hand just as quickly. With three or four more thrusts, Alex is finding his release in Henry, his hips jerking. He keeps moving both his hips and his hand and then Henry falls over the edge, coming on his chest. Alex hovers over him until his arms feel too weak. 

Separating from Henry, he collapses at his side. Both of them immediately turn to the other. Henry smiles blissfully at Alex, reaching up to smooth his hair back again. Alex wraps his limp arms around Henry. He tucks his face into Henry’s neck, tangling one leg between Henry’s. 

The time spent apart may have thrown them off balance, but at least  _ this  _ is still good. 

There’s no sound in the room, save for their frantic breathing. Alex isn’t sure he’s loud enough when he says, “I love you so much.” 

But Henry holds him tighter and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Love, you have no idea.” 

Alex opens his eyes, staring at the side of Henry’s neck. A devious idea comes to mind and he doesn’t even hesitate to act on it. He presses his mouth to Henry’s neck, sucking against the spot. Henry’s hand tightens in his hair. 

“What are you doing?” 

He doesn’t answer, just adds in his teeth. Henry hisses beneath him, but he isn’t asking him to stop. 

Finally, Alex pulls off, sits back, and admires his work. He grins down at the huge hickey forming on Henry’s neck. “There,” he says in a small voice. 

Henry lifts his hand to his neck. “What did you do that for?” 

Alex leans down and kisses him. “I’m claiming you,” he says simply. Henry laughs, flashing him a look of disbelief. “So that way, everyone will know you’re taken. That you’re  _ mine  _ and no one else’s.” 

“I think everyone at this lakehouse already knows that.” 

He shrugs in reply. Before he lays down, Alex pulls out the drawer in the bedside table and finds exactly what he’s looking for. With a grin, he uncaps the sharpie and hovers it over Henry’s body. He’s done this before, a long time ago when things were different. Easier. The need to lay his claim on Henry then feels piddly compared to his need to do so now. 

“Making it more permanent?” Henry asks. Alex looks at him, nervous for a moment. The smile on Henry’s face puts him at ease. He nods in reply before finding the perfect spot. 

Right over Henry’s heart, Alex writes:  _ AGCD + HGEJFMW  _

With a smile, he caps the marker and sits back. Henry glances down at it before looking back at Alex. He bursts out laughing and pulls Alex down onto his chest. Alex goes willingly, wrapping his arms back around Henry, not planning to move for a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I get a "About Damn Time!" Thanks for reading!


	13. Late Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments! I'm sorry I'm so terrible at replying, but I read them and cherish them and often reply to them in my head. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Late into the night, Alex and Henry lay in bed, curled together. Henry runs a hand over Alex’s abdomen. Suddenly, he moves from Alex’s side and hovers over his chest. Henry glances up at Alex before he starts pressing kisses to his abs. “I don’t know what you’ve been doing,” Henry says, “but good lord, your  _ body.  _ You’re like a god.” Alex laughs, his breath stuttering a bit as Henry presses a wet kiss low on his abdomen. “Seriously, what have you been doing?” 

Alex reaches out and curls his fingers in Henry’s hair. “Oh, some of this and that.” 

Henry picks up his head and gives him a skeptical look as he runs a hand along Alex’s chest. It’s true, he is more toned and feels the strongest he has in years, but it’s only because all his workouts were the best distraction from Henry. It’s a strange juxtaposition because he grew stronger and objectively, fairly ripped, but he still felt powerless and weak. With Henry appearing to enjoy the ways his body has changed, he finally feels truly strong. 

“Okay, so,” Alex says, taking a deep breath. “I worked out a lot. Mainly as a distraction.” 

“A distraction from what?” Henry asks, pressing another kiss to his chest. In Alex’s silence, he glances back up and notes the expression on his face. “Oh,” Henry says, nodding his head. “The obvious.” 

“Yep. A distraction from you.” A sad look crosses Henry’s face, but Alex just keeps running his fingers through his hair, hoping to say more with his gesture. “Anyway, Nora and June made it their mission to come up with hobbies I could try out that would be a good distraction. As it turns out, the physical ones were better at it. So I did a lot of running with June and then eventually by myself.”

Henry’s hand falls to Alex’s thigh, squeezing slightly. “I thought you were already a runner.” 

“I was,” Alex says, “But not quite this seriously. The first month I was seriously running, I ran 150 miles in a month.” Henry’s eyes go a bit wide, almost concerned. “It’s fine. Anyway, eventually running stopped being as good a distraction. I still would go on runs, but it was because it had become a habit. So instead of running for distraction, I took up rowing. Nora and I would go rowing together and that helped for a while longer because it required different motions that I wasn’t as used to.” Alex shrugs, watching Henry. “I had a few hobbies I tried out, but those two remained in my routines.” 

Sitting up, Henry presses a kiss just over Alex’s heart before curling back in his arms. “What other hobbies did you try?” 

It almost feels odd talking about it all with Henry, talking about the way that he tried to cope with his absence in his life. He takes Henry’s hand in his, watching as their fingers tangle together. “Well, I tried baking for a bit, but that just made me think of you.” 

“Why? I’m not much of a baker.” 

“Yeah, but some recipe I was using talked about  _ Bake-Off  _ and Mary Berry and I ended up on the floor covered in flour, angry at the world again.” Henry squeezes his hand, pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek. He doesn’t say anything and certainly doesn’t try to tell Alex that his response wasn’t proportional. Instead he just gives him little reminders that their situation has changed again. “Anyway, that didn’t last all that long. I also tried making mosaics.” Henry bursts out laughing. “What? It was kind of fun. I ended up making these fun coasters. Leo has them now.” 

“Kind of you to share.” 

Alex glances over at him with a grin. “I could make some for you.” 

Henry leans in and kisses him softly. “I may take you up on that.” 

Leaning his head against Henry’s shoulder, Alex continues, “And I also tried my hand at knitting.” 

“I’m sorry,  _ what?  _ You tried knitting?” Henry lays his head back and laughs. “I’m sorry, I simply cannot picture it.” 

“Well, if I weren’t avoiding my phone, I’d show you pictures of the hats I made. Nora, June, Cash, and Amy all have Alex Claremont-Diaz original hats.” 

“Cash?” Henry asks, pointing to the window, in the general vague direction of the man. “You made one for Cash?” 

Alex nods happily. “I did. He wore it all the time when I went running during the winter and he had to keep up with me.” 

“Was it hard for Cash to keep up with you?” A devious grin crosses his face. “I mean, you’re so much shorter than he is and —” 

Alex tackles Henry into the bed, pinching and poking at him. “You asshole!” Henry laughs loudly, a sound that Alex treasures, especially given what he knows of their time apart. “I’ll have you know 5’9 is average!” He presses his lips against Henry’s cheek and blows a raspberry. Henry’s laughter is contagious. It fills him up with a sense of hope, a sense of things being right in the world again. 

“Sure, love,” Henry says, still laughing as he nudges Alex off of him. He curls back into Alex’s side, wrapping his arms around him. “And what was your reason for giving up on knitting? Are you saying you couldn’t make me a hat? Winters in London can be quite cold.” 

“Well, that was basically it,” Alex says. “I started thinking about the cold and how London would be cold in the winter and boom, there you were. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Alone in the palace, forced into a life you didn’t want, unable to be yourself. 

“That was why I needed distractions. It wasn’t just because I couldn’t be with you. I mean, I’d have been sad if you’d have been marrying a man, but it was the fact that your whole life was taken from you. You were forced into someone else’s box of what your life should be. I kept thinking of you and how miserable you must be and I couldn’t do anything about it, no matter how badly I wanted to. I couldn’t even make myself call you, partially because I thought it wouldn’t help anything. But, I just kept thinking of you so isolated, which is I’m sure what the bitch wanted and —” 

He cuts himself off at the sound of a ragged breath from Henry. Looking down, he sees tears streaming down his face. Alex immediately feels like such an asshole. “Fuck, why can I not stop talking?” he mutters to himself. “Henry, I’m so sorry.” He cups Henry’s face in his hands, wiping his tears away with the pads of his thumbs. 

Henry shakes his head. “No, it’s fine,” he says, his breath short as tears stream down his face. “It’s just everything you said. All of it. It was right. I was isolated and forced to conform to whatever the crown thought was best.” He pauses, heaving in a deep breath. Alex wraps his arms tightly around Henry, running a hand up and down his back. 

“I was alone. All the time. Mum didn’t really know the truth until the day of the wedding, I think. So she just let me be, as she has for the last seven years. Bea thought her demented plan would work. As did Pez. Like if I’m in a shitty situation, it’s going to magically give me the strength to snap me out of it if I can’t talk to the people closest to me about it.” Henry rolls his eyes and tries to wipe off his cheeks. He sucks in a shaky breath.“I couldn’t talk to you, but why would I have anyway? It would have been cruel of me to talk about my bloody wedding to you. And then there was Philip who went right along with whatever Gran said. And obviously Gran was the architect of my miserable life.” 

Alex watches Henry, a bit concerned by how fast he’s talking on such short breaths. His tears keep flowing as he unleashes it all. Alex feels desperate for a way to comfort him, but he’s not sure if there’s anything he can do. So he does what he’s been doing, holding Henry, rubbing a hand up and down his back, and listening. 

“I’ve never felt so alone in my life. It was worse than when Dad died,” Henry tells him. Alex’s heart clenches in his chest. “I mean, then I at least had Bea. At least then I didn’t know what it was like to be yours and then lose that as well. I feared for my future, for a life of endless torment, stuck in a role I couldn’t fill but had no choice. Everything was so bleak and choking. I constantly felt like I needed to escape, but I couldn’t. I felt alone and isolated and trapped and unloved. I...I —” A sob chokes out of him and he stops. Alex feels tears in his own eyes. 

He hugs Henry tighter to him, pressing a kiss to his hair. “Breathe,” Alex suggests, trying to talk in a soothing voice. “Just breathe, baby.” He tries taking deep breaths so Henry can feel them and imitate it. “You’re not alone anymore. I’m here. And I’m not going to go anywhere. I’m not going to blindly trust that things will work out. I’m going to fight. For you and for us. You’re not alone. And you’re so loved. I love you so much, Henry.” Alex takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm for Henry. He can feel himself getting angry at everyone in Henry’s life, even himself. 

“You’ll never be alone again if I have anything to say about it,” Alex adds. “And I’m going to tell you every day, multiple times a day just how loved you are. I’m going to make it so you know, so it’s your first instinct to know how loved you are.” 

He holds Henry until his breaths become a bit more even, until his tears stop flowing as heavily. Alex whispers things in his ear and presses kisses in his hair. He cradles him against his chest and hopes that he’s helping him. In his own head, he berates himself for cutting himself off from Henry. The man’s already said that he doesn’t blame him, but Alex blames himself. And he vows to find a way to make it up to Henry. 

After a long silence, when Alex thinks Henry’s tears have stopped, Henry picks up his head and looks at him. A sad look crosses his face. “I’m sorry about that.” 

Alex cups his face in his hands and makes sure Henry’s eyes are on his. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry I led you right into that. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“Don’t apologize. You couldn’t have known.” 

“It’s not like I thought you were in the palace eating bonbons and having a grand ole time. I’m sorry, Henry. I’m sorry any of it happened.” Henry nods against his hands, looking forlorn. “It might be a good idea for me to not see Philip or your grandmother anytime soon. Not if I don’t want to end up in an English jail.” 

Henry chuckles, leaning back into Alex. “I’ll break you out.” 

Alex presses a kiss to his temple. “That’s kind of you.” He has something else he wants to say, but he doesn’t know if he should. Taking a deep breath, he just decides to go for it. “Look, I know you probably don’t want to, at least right now, but if you ever want to talk about it, I hope you know I’m here to listen.” 

Looking back at him, Henry flashes him a kind smile. “I know. You’re right, I don’t want to right now,” he says with a pointed sniffle, “but if I feel the need, I’ll let you know.” 

“Okay, good,” Alex says. He lays back down and pulls Henry down with him. Henry’s head lays on Alex’s chest as his body curls around him. Alex keeps running his fingers through his hair. The room is filled with an easy silence. Both of them are content to just lay there with each other, words not needed. 

The long stretch of silence is broken by a dramatically loud growl from Alex’s stomach. Both of them burst out laughing. “We didn’t really eat earlier,” Henry reminds him. 

“That’s right.” Alex groans, not wanting Henry to move from him. “I’ll go grab something.” He slides out of the bed and turns around, pressing a kiss to Henry’s lips. “I’ll be right back.” Henry smiles and leans back into the pillows as he watches Alex leave. 

He comes back in with his arms full and Henry laughs at the sight of him. “Did you bring  _ everything,  _ then?” Alex laughs with him as he dumps it all on the edge of the bed. 

“Nope, still plenty in the fridge.” There’s a bag of popcorn, yogurts, chips, strawberries, bananas, and cookies. “I thought about bringing the food we had earlier, but I’ll just reheat that tomorrow. Or today…” Alex shakes his head. “I have no idea what time it even is.” 

“Well, there doesn’t appear to be a clock in this room. You’re avoiding your phone. I don’t even have my phone. How would we know what time it is?” 

“The sun set a long time ago. Can you track the movements of the moon?” Alex asks around a mouthful of chips. 

Henry rolls his eyes as he takes a bite out of a strawberry. “You know me, I’m quite the explorer.” He looks at all the contents of the bed. “You brought yogurt but no spoons?” 

“Hmm. Guess I did.” Alex grabs one and rips the lid off. “I suppose we’ll just have to eat it like this.” He sticks three fingers in and gathers a large glob of yogurt before putting it in his mouth. He gathers another helping and extends his hand to Henry with a grin. “Want some?”

“That’s disgusting,” Henry tells him, an unimpressed look on his face. 

“Why is it disgusting?” 

“You’re eating  _ yogurt  _ with your  _ fingers,  _ you caveman!” 

“How is that any worse than when I put my fingers in your —” 

“Alex!” Henry yells. He grabs a handful of popcorn and throws it at him. Alex laughs as a few pieces hit his face. 

“I’m just saying.” 

“You’re a menace,” Henry says. The smile on his face betrays his point. 

Alex continues to eat yogurt with his hands, scoffing when Henry runs into the kitchen for spoons. “I don’t need such an instrument.” 

“Could you please? For me, maybe?” 

He rolls his eyes and takes the spoon from Henry before wiping his hand off on the blanket on the bed. It’s all going to have to be washed anyway. “Can I ask you something?” Alex asks as he keeps eating. 

“You can ask me anything.” 

“Well, this is maybe a sensitive topic, so I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to ask.” 

Henry looks over at him, resting a hand on his knee. “I appreciate that. You can always ask and if I don’t want to talk about it, I won’t. How about that?” 

“Deal,” Alex says with a grin. “Okay, you said something about how you didn’t think your mom knew you’re gay until the day of the wedding. What does that mean?” 

Taking a deep breath and shaking his head, Henry starts to tell him the story. “I think Dad knew. I told Bea. Gran, as you may recall, pulled me aside and confirmed that she had her suspicions. But I could never tell what Mum knew. Even planning the damn wedding, I couldn’t tell what she thought of that. Did she think it was just a normal royal arranged marriage? I don’t know why she thinks I agreed to it. Maybe she’s just familiar with being backed into a corner by Gran. Anyway, the day before the wedding, right after you left, she came in and found me.” 

“Yeah, I ran into her in the hall.” 

Henry’s eyes widen. “You met my mum?” Alex nods. “Huh,” he says, a small smile starting to form. “Anyway, after that, when she found me in the process of going straight to pieces, I couldn’t figure out why she kept watching me. All through the rest of the night. And then I —” he cuts himself off and rolls his eyes at himself. When he starts speaking again, his voice is notably quieter. “I wrote you this letter the night before my wedding.” 

“I’m sorry, you what? Was I supposed to read this letter?” 

“I hadn’t decided yet. So I left it on my desk. When my mother came to check on me the next day, she’d been in my room while I showered. And certain things she kept telling me made me wonder if she’d read the letter, if she  _ knew.  _ And then you left the abbey and she urged me to go after you, said she’d take care of Gran. So, I ran.” 

Alex stares at him. “That’s why you came after me?” 

“Well, I already wanted to,” Henry says quickly. “But apparently all it took was one person in my family saying they had my back for me to say “Fuck it all” and run.” He looks down at the yogurt in his hands instead of watching Alex. “Are you mad that  _ that’s  _ why I followed you?” 

With a scoff, Alex shakes his head. “I don’t care. We’re together, and that’s all I care about. Your grandmother could have said she changed her mind and she approves of us being a couple and I wouldn’t care. Just as long as I have you.” 

A relieved look crosses Henry’s face. “Good,” he nearly whispers. Henry scooches closer to him and leans his head on Alex’s shoulder. “You know, I think this is the best meal I’ve had in nearly two years.” Alex gives him a look. “Because I’m having it with you,” he adds. 

Alex laughs. “That’s very sappy.” 

“I know.” 

“You make a good point though. Even with me eating yogurt with my hands? It’s still the best meal?” 

Henry barks out a laugh, elbowing Alex in the side. “The heart wants what it wants. Who am I to fight that?” 


	14. And Lazy Days

In the morning — whatever time it may be— Henry wanders into the kitchen to find Alex already standing at the stove. He picks up the pan and does some maneuver, flipping a pancake. Looking just past Alex’s arm, Henry sees a plate with a good amount already stacked on it. 

“Morning,” Henry says with a yawn. 

Alex turns his head in Henry’s direction and grins, leaning his cheek up for a kiss. Henry turns his chin and kisses Alex fully on the mouth. He weaves his fingers through Alex’s curls and turns him toward him as he deepens the kiss. Alex releases the most beautiful sound as their tongues touch. He grips Henry closer. 

Moving his head, Henry kisses along his jaw, but Alex pushes him away. “Don’t distract me from the pancakes,” he scolds. Henry rolls his eyes. 

“There are already plenty on that plate next to you.” 

“I take pride in my cooking, Henry!” Alex scoffs. “I will not let a pancake burn.” 

Perhaps it’s the distance from his family, or the proximity to Alex, or the fact that if things had gone as planned, he’d have had forced, awful, heterosexual intercourse last night instead of the night of incredible, mutually satisfying sex he’d had with Alex, but either way, a devious plan forms in his mind. He steps back up to Alex as he’s pouring more batter in the pan. Henry turns him around and kisses him soundly before dropping to his knees. 

“Henry —” 

His hands are at Alex’s waist, tugging playfully at the waistband to his boxers. “Yes?” 

“What are you doing?”

Henry leans forward, pressing his nose against Alex’s crotch, feeling Alex tense under his hands. “Just trying to see how dedicated you are to flipping pancakes.” He fits his mouth over Alex’s length through the fabric. Alex is growing harder and Henry’s trying not to gloat. When Alex’s hand reaches down to Henry’s head, he can’t help feeling like he’s won. 

He tucks his fingers in the band of his boxers and yanks them down. Pausing just before touching Alex’s cock, he glances up for permission. A needy whine ekes out of Alex as he nods. Henry tries to fight his smug grin as he reaches out and takes hold of him. After one stroke, Henry puts his mouth on him, sucking the tip. Alex groans and then groans again as Henry takes him deeper. 

“Baby,” Alex cries. 

Henry holds his thighs steady as he sucks him down, taking him slowly deeper. Alex thrusts his hips and Henry pulls off to cough. Before Alex can even say anything, he dives back in, lapping at his length, working him in the ways he remembers Alex liking. Based on the tight pull of his hair in Alex’s fingers and the curses echoing around the kitchen, he thinks he’s doing a fine job. 

“Sweetheart!” 

His own cock has grown hard and is starting to leak. Henry ignores it and keeps focusing on Alex. He hollows out his cheeks and takes him deep. Alex cries out loudly, yanking at Henry’s hair. If he’s trying to pull him off, it’s not going to work. Henry wants him to finish down his throat. He keeps swallowing him down, bringing Alex closer and closer to the edge. 

“I’m close. I’m so close. Oh, motherfucker.” 

Henry reaches up and takes his balls in his hands. With a loud groan, Alex is coming, yelling words of praise into the air. Henry swallows down the last of him and stands up, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. Now that he’s less focused, he can smell the telltale burning of a pancake. 

“Oh, no,” he says, being a total shit, “I think one burned.” 

Alex glares at him, moving the pan off the hot burner and turning it off without looking around. His eyes stay on Henry. “You asshole,” he says before surging at him and kissing him roughly. Henry grins into the kiss. Alex pushes him back and Henry’s feet go out from under him, making them both fall to the floor. 

Henry lands hard on the floor, Alex crashing down on top of him. Alex’s eyes linger on him, checking to make sure Henry’s okay. After enough time, Alex leans down and kisses Henry sloppily. He moves down Henry’s body, pressing kisses and bites along his chest. Alex presses a long kiss to the place where he wrote their initials over his heart. His head pops up after that, smiling softly at Henry. Resuming his activities, Alex works his way down to Henry’s waist and strips his boxers off at an alarming speed for them being on the floor. 

He doesn’t wait before taking Henry in his mouth. His head crashes back to the floor as he lets out a high pitched moan at the feel of Alex’s mouth on him. The back of his head might hurt later, but now, he doesn’t seem to care. His body is too swept up in the pleasure that Alex is giving him. 

Propping himself up on his elbows, he watches as Alex’s head bobs up and down between his thighs. Flicking his eyes up, he sees Alex’s dark eyes locking on him. It’s almost too much. Drops of spit fall from Alex’s mouth as he sucks him down. Henry would almost find it obscene if it wasn’t so damn good. He laves his tongue along the underside of Henry’s cock and grasps the end that can’t fit, working him with hand and mouth. Henry’s arms give out and he lays back on the floor, nearly sure that Alex is just going to kill him here. What a way to go. 

He can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. Fisting a hand in Alex’s curls, he says, “Love, I’m close. I’m going to —” He cuts himself off as Alex takes him deeper. It only takes a few more sucks and Henry’s finishing as well. Moaning loudly, he slaps his hand to the floor repeatedly as Alex swallows him through his orgasm. 

The hand in Alex’s curls yanks him back up to Henry when he pulls off. Alex grins and Henry has half a mind to wipe that smug grin off his face, but instead he just kisses him desperately. 

When they finally pull back, Alex and Henry are both grinning lazily at each other. “What a way to start a morning,” Henry sighs. 

“And here I thought pancakes would be enough,” Alex says with a laugh. “Although I’m still mad at you for making me ruin my perfect record.” 

Henry eyes him skeptically, his hand drifting up and down Alex’s leg. “Are you though?” 

Alex rolls his eyes before he moves quickly, straddling Henry. “No, not really,” he says, leaning down to kiss him fiercely. 

Eventually, they get up, pull both their boxers back on, and sit down to eat the pancakes that Alex made for them. “Thank you for breakfast,” Henry says. 

“The pancakes or the…” Alex asks with a wink. 

Henry smacks his arm, shoveling another bite of pancakes into his mouth. “Both,” he mutters. Alex laughs loudly, laying his hand over Henry’s. 

Everything about this morning — waking up together, Alex making them breakfast, even the blowjobs on the kitchen floor — feels like a domestic dream. Henry fears he’s going to wake up and find himself back in his impersonal rooms in Kensington. It wouldn’t be the first time that he’s had an overly convincing dream about Alex and a life they could have together. 

He squeezes Alex’s hand and he returns the gesture. That small squeeze in reply is enough to remind Henry that it’s  _ not  _ a dream. He really is with Alex, happier in this moment than he’s been in years. Based on the constant smile that’s been on Alex’s face as they eat breakfast together, he thinks it’s maybe the same situation for him. 

The day goes smoothly. It’s all so much calmer at the lake, especially when it’s just the two of them. There’s no one to tell Henry that everything he’s doing or wants to do with his life is wrong. There’s no one to back him into a corner. There’s just him and Alex, avoiding the outside world and wearing as little as possible. 

Alex does ask Cash if some agent can make a clothes run for them. With a roll of his eyes, Cash agrees. Henry doesn’t really care if he wanders around the house in his boxers or if he spends all day naked in bed with Alex. And even if they’re not actively doing anything, they do spend most of the day in bed. It’s rather glorious. 

Thinking back, Henry can really only think of one day when they’ve had the chance to luxuriate and be lazy without one of them needing to immediately leave. That day in London, the morning after Alex came to yell at him for leaving, the morning that Henry stopped running from his fears and told Alex precisely what he wanted. 

He wishes the next time they’d had a chance like that hadn’t come nearly two years later. Wrapping his arms tighter around Alex, he starts to think of all the ways their lives could have been different if his grandmother hadn’t ordered them apart. Maybe they’d be living together somewhere, happy and finally in the same place. Or maybe they’d still be doing long distance, but out for all the world. 

Either way, Henry knows they’d have been together, not separated and not speaking for 20 months. 

Thankfully, Alex seems to be able to tell when his thoughts start to go this way. He can tell when Henry has been silent for too long, is getting too introspective. And at those times, Alex pulls him in closer and kisses him. He takes Henry’s mind off of anything but the  _ present,  _ and the extra chance they’ve miraculously been given. 

After dinner, Alex and Henry are sitting on the porch swing, staring out at the night. He can see the fireflies blinking in the air and the stars bright above them. It feels almost magical to be far enough away from the city to see so many stars. Without struggle, he finds Orion and pulls Alex a bit tighter against him. 

“God, it’s so peaceful here.” 

Alex leans his head against his shoulder. “Yeah, it can be.” 

“Can be? What does that mean?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Are you saying there’s a time it’s  _ not  _ peaceful?” Henry doesn’t know why he’s prying. Alex’s silence is concerning, though. Especially since he’s never silent. Suddenly, it all clicks for him. “Oh my god,” he whispers. “Did I ruin this place for you?” 

Alex sits up, shaking his head. He doesn’t say much to dissuade him though. “No.” 

“Alex,” Henry says, turning him back toward him. “When I left, did I ruin your favorite place for you?” 

“I mean,  _ no,  _ you didn’t,” Alex tries. He still doesn’t sound very convincing. Under Henry’s gaze, he deflates a bit and tells him more. “I brought you here two years ago and...what happened, you know, happened. And after we made up, it was fine. I figured the next time I came to the lakehouse, I’d be bringing you again and everything would be different that time.” Henry closes his eyes, knowing whatever Alex says next is going to hurt. “But the next time I came to the lakehouse was two weeks after you’d announced your engagement. So, naturally, it wasn’t a great time.” 

“I’m sorry,” Henry immediately says. 

“Don’t be. It was just shitty circumstances. I wouldn’t have come back here if you’d ruined the place for me.” 

Alex relaxes back against the swing again, but Henry’s mind is running away from him. He jumps up off the swing and turns back toward Alex. “Let’s go.” 

“What? Where?” 

“Come on!” Henry yells, rushing off toward the dock. He runs down to the end and waits for Alex. He strips off the pants and t-shirt acquired for him and is down to his boxers by the time Alex reaches him. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m giving you a redo.” Henry smiles and strips off his boxers before diving into the lake. He pops up out of the water to see Alex staring at him like he’s gone mad. “Come on. Live a little!” 

A small grin starts to bloom on Alex’s face and he rips off his shirt. His pants and boxers are next and he’s diving in next to Henry. Watching him closely, Henry pulls him in and kisses Alex slowly. Alex’s arms come up and link around his neck, his legs curling around Henry’s waist. Henry swims them forward until Alex is pressed against one of the dock posts. 

“Say it.” 

“What do you mean?” Alex asks, genuinely confused. 

Henry raises one eyebrow. “Say it,” he simply repeats. 

It takes a moment, but Alex finally understands. He takes a deep breath and moves his hands from behind Henry’s neck to cupping his cheeks. It’s the same thing he’d done that night. This time, Henry places his hands over Alex’s and holds them there. In a whisper, Alex says, “Henry...I love you.” 

Henry smiles, bright and wide. He leans his forehead against Alex’s. “I love you too. I’ve loved you for so long, I don’t remember what it’s like to  _ not  _ be in love with you.” 

A soft laugh comes from Alex. He’s watching Henry, a pleased look on his face. “I don’t want to remember what it’s like not loving you,” he says softly before leaning in and kissing Henry. 

Henry’s arms move to tighten around Alex again, keeping him firmly against his body as he kisses him deeply. He presses him against the post and moves in further. 

Alex pulls back, catching his breath. He pushes a wet lock off Henry’s forehead and watches him, a fond, almost overwhelmed look on his face. “Thank you,” he whispers. 

“For what?” He thinks he knows, but he wants to hear Alex say it. 

It’s as if he knows what Henry’s doing. And maybe he does. Alex rolls his eyes, but tightens his legs around Henry’s waist. “For this. For the last two days. For running after me. For...for loving me.” 

Henry breathes out a soft laugh. “I should be thanking you for the same things then.” He presses a quick kiss to Alex’s lips. “You basically saved my life, Alex. The least I can do is try to make yours better.” 

Alex is at a loss for words, staring back at Henry, his mouth ajar. He pulls Henry in and kisses him deeply, clinging to him like he’s afraid he’ll float away in the lake. Henry holds him just as tightly. And under the moon, the stars, and the fireflies, it feels utterly perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	15. Letting the Outside World Back In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your sweet comments! I hope you all enjoy this chapter too!

An insistent buzzing wakes Alex the next morning. He can feel Henry’s arms around him, his body delightfully sore. The buzzing stops and Alex closes his eyes again. Not even a minute later, the buzzing starts again. He sits up and looks around for what could be making the noise. His phone sits on the bedside table, vibrating loudly. 

He vaguely recalls turning his phone off airplane mode last night and deleting his news apps before showing Henry the pictures of the hats he’d made when Henry teased him about knitting again. Now, as he stares at Zahra’s name on his phone, he wishes he hadn’t gotten so insistent. 

They’ve successfully avoided talking to either of their families since they ran from London. The last time Alex talked to anyone on the phone was when June called him to tell him Henry didn’t get married. Alex hadn’t even looked at his phone until after they got out of the lake last night. Frankly, he was surprised it even had a charge. Cash had supplied him with a phone charger along with their clothes. He insisted that Alex would need it sooner or later, even if he didn’t want to be on his phone. 

The buzzing stops for a second time and Alex is ready to snuggle in back with Henry. When the phone starts ringing a third time, he realizes he’s going to have to answer it. 

“Hello?” he says in a sleep-raspy voice. 

“Alex, what the fuck?” Zahra says. “Have you seen the news?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“The news, dumbass. Have you seen it?” 

“Uh, no. I’ve been mostly avoiding it. Why?” 

“Try googling yourself.” 

A rock sits in his stomach. He takes his phone from his ear and types in his name. Immediately, several news articles pop up, all accompanied by the same picture: Alex and Henry kissing in the cloisters at Westminster Abbey. 

“Fuck,” he breathes. He clicks on an article, but it just makes the picture bigger. His stomach turns, making him wonder if he should run to the bathroom. 

Zahra’s voice comes out of the phone again and Alex puts it back to his ear. “What happened to ‘I’m not going to ruin Henry’s wedding.’ Your word is officially dirt.” 

“I  _ didn’t  _ ruin Henry’s wedding!” Alex nearly yells. Henry stirs next to him. 

“What?” His eyes open sleepily as he looks over at Alex. “What’s going on?”

“How are you going to suggest that you didn’t ruin Henry’s wedding when he ran from his wedding and there’s now been a picture released of the two of you kissing? Alex, come on,” Zahra chides. 

“I didn’t do it! Not on purpose!” Alex defends. Henry’s sitting up a bit, watching Alex with concern, laying a hand at his back. He puts his phone on speaker and goes back to the picture, showing it to Henry. 

“Bollocks,” Henry says, dropping his face into his hands. 

“Is that Henry?” 

Alex sighs. “Yes.” 

“Okay, so tell me how you’re  _ with  _ Henry, but you didn’t ruin his wedding.” 

“Zahra, he didn’t ruin my wedding,” Henry interjects. 

“Look, Your Highness —” 

“Just call me Henry. I really don’t care.” 

Alex stares down at the picture of them on his phone, barely listening to Zahra. 

“The fact of the matter is that Alex promised that he would not cause yet another international scandal at a royal wedding and ruin this one, but this picture —” 

“This picture is not the entire story,” Henry interrupts. “Alex did not ruin my wedding. He didn’t urge me to leave it or act in any certain way other than completely respectful. All he did was leave the ceremony himself. He didn’t tell me to go with him, he just left because he couldn’t sit through watching me make the biggest mistake of my life. If  _ anyone  _ ruined my wedding, you could say it was my mother who urged me to go after him. Or perhaps it was me who ruined my own wedding for choosing to run after Alex instead of stand at the altar and wait for the impending doom of the sham wedding I’d been forced into.” 

Zahra is silent on the other end. Alex looks up at Henry, wondering if he can learn the trick of standing up to Zahra in a way that doesn’t get him chewed out. “All right,” she says. 

“I’m sure if you’ve spoken with your husband at all in the last 10 months, then you’ll know that I did not enter this engagement of my own idea or volition. I was backed into it, all but told it was my only choice. I know he mentioned the fact that I did not  _ choose  _ to invite Alex to my wedding, but was backed into that as well. At no point in the last 10 months, have I been given a choice about this wedding. The only choice I made was to leave it and I do not have any regrets.” 

Alex squeezes his hand. If it weren’t such a shitshow, he’d probably have other ideas after watching Henry defend him like that. “Z, we’ve clearly been avoiding the news. I hadn’t opened my phone until last night and it wasn’t to look at that. I don’t know what the world’s reaction to Henry leaving his wedding is. Aside from you yelling at me, I also don’t know what anyone’s reaction to this picture is.” 

“It was released an hour ago,” Zahra tells them. “And then promptly blew up, as you can imagine. I don’t know the full scale reaction as of now. I do know that without a doubt, the Queen is going to be pissed off.” 

“She was already going to be pissed off because I’d run out on the wedding,” Henry says. “I doubt it should be all that surprising to her that I ran away with Alex. Frankly, it’s her fault for making me invite him.” 

A laugh sputters out of Alex. Thankfully, he remembers Zahra is on the phone and claps a hand over his mouth. Henry shoots him a grin. 

Zahra huffs out a sigh. “Okay, Alex, where are you? News as of yesterday said no one in the royal family had seen Henry. And since you’re together, I’m assuming you ran off together. So where are you?” 

“I’m...not saying.” He knows she’s going to be pissed at him, but they need more time. The last thing he wants is for Zahra, Shaan, the President, or the Queen to come marching in when they’re trying to make up for their time apart. 

“Alex, you will tell me where you are.” 

“No, I won’t. I got here on a royal plane. No American taxpayers’ money used. I am staying at a private residence. One American taxpayer’s money used, but that person agreed to it. I’m not breaking any laws, doing anything wrong, or making a public scene — more than I already did,” he says, cutting her off as she starts to interrupt, “so, I don’t think I need to tell you where we are.” 

Zahra takes a deep breath in through her nose. Alex can picture the face she’s making. He’s glad that he’s well out of range. “Very well,” she says. “We’ll be in touch.” 

And with that, she hangs up the phone.

“Good lord, that woman’s intimidating,” Henry says, shaking his head with a laugh. 

“How is that your reaction right now?” Alex asks, standing up from their bed and starting to pace. He looks down at his phone, the picture still displayed there. “I mean this is a clusterfuck.” 

“Why?” Henry asks. 

Alex stares at him, wondering how Henry doesn’t see the issue. “Are you serious?” He points to his phone. “Henry, whoever posted this picture  _ outed  _ you! How are you not upset about this?” 

Henry looks at the phone and reaches out to take it from Alex. “I know I should be,” he says, staring down at the picture of them. “But to me, this feels like my insurance.” 

“What?” Alex stops pacing. He sits down on the bed next to Henry. 

“I’ve had this somewhat buried fear that if we were caught, Gran would do...something. I don’t know what. But that I’d be punished. That I’d never see you again, but that I also wouldn’t really be one of the faces of the royal family anymore, just stuck in a palace, rotting away til kingdom come. That thought makes all the events I have to do seem nice.” He holds the phone out to Alex. “But this, this is something people will notice. And if I’m being noticed, well...I don’t know, it’s not as easy to just hide people like that.” 

“What?” Alex asks again, not sure he’s following Henry’s meaning. 

“They’re not going to be able to just bury this under a rug,” Henry continues. “We are two rather well known figures. And this picture is surely getting some media attention. I left my wedding and then it was revealed that at the scene of the wedding, I was kissing you. There’s your explanation for why I left my wedding. People love explanations. It’s also proof of who I’ve always been. Gran won’t be able to just shove me into the arms of another girl and say, ‘Oh, he just didn’t love Emma.’ No, she’ll have to admit that I’m bloody gay. And that I love you. The proof is right there. People believe what they see and that’s the truth, right there!” 

“So, you don’t care that you were outed because it means you’ll get to stay out,” Alex summarizes. “I guess that makes sense.” 

“Well, are you mad about it?” 

“Huh?” 

Henry rolls his eyes. “You were outed in the same picture. Unless I missed your coming out announcement — which I don’t think I would have — the same thing happened to you.” 

Alex nods, thinking of what it all means for him as well. “I’m not really mad about it. I mean, I guess I always imagined I’d get to approach that in my own way, but that ship has clearly sailed.” 

“Just because I’m not that mad about it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be mad about it.” 

“I think I’ve been like you, worried about what was going to happen next. I’ve been mentally preparing for a fight. And you’re right.” He unlocks his phone and goes backward to the search page. “There are at least 15 articles here about us. It’s not something we’re going to be able to dismiss. You left your wedding. That’s a big deal. You left with me. That’s a big deal. People aren’t going to buy that it was just some joke between friends if that’s how your grandmother’s team wants to sell it.” 

“Right.” 

“So, what do we do?” 

Henry watches him, shrugging a bit. “I don’t know if there’s anything we need to do.” He takes the phone from Alex and scrolls through all the articles. “I mean, the truth is basically out there.” 

Alex lays back on the bed, his hand over his eyes. “How could we have let this happen? Weren’t we more careful before?” 

A laugh from Henry surprises him. “I asked you to fuck me at Wimbledon,” Henry reminds him. “I don’t think we were ever particularly careful. You only told your mum because Zahra nearly walked in on us naked in your hotel bed.” He laughs and shakes his head at Alex. “I think all thoughts of carefulness went out of our heads at a certain point. And that point was usually getting our clothes off.” 

Alex laughs with him. “Yeah, your sister only knew because she walked in on one of our dirty facetimes.” 

“I’d rather not recall that,” Henry says, a grim look on his face. “I am sorry if you’re upset.” 

“I was the one who kissed you in public,” Alex says. 

“Well, if you hadn’t, I would have,” Henry says. “Without a doubt I would have.” 

“I guess I’m just confused because I thought we were alone out there.” 

Henry lays down next to him, linking their hands. “I suppose some photographer could have been walking through one of the cloisters while we were out in the green. I didn’t even think about other people, honestly. I could only think about you.” 

Alex smiles, pressing his lips against Henry’s shoulder. “Yeah, me too.” He curls in around Henry’s side, tangling his leg between his. “I guess I’m just worried about what comes next.” 

Tucking him in closer, Henry presses a kiss to Alex’s temple. “I don’t know. I think we’d have to give away our position to do that, but I can’t say I really want to quite yet.” 

“I don’t either.” 

Henry sits up and grabs Alex’s phone. Once Alex is sitting with him, he hands it back to him and says, “Maybe it’s time we look at the news.” 

“You think?” 

Henry nods. “We know some of what’s out there. I want to know what people are saying.” He taps Alex’s phone. “Go ahead.” 

Taking a deep breath, Alex decides to go to Twitter. He’ll get a mix of what people are saying as well as news stories. “Oh, what do you know, you’re trending.” 

Henry laughs. “Am I?” 

“Yep. Number one. Shocking.” 

“Are you not as well?” 

“I am. Number five.” 

Henry leans in close, pressing a kiss to Alex’s jaw. “It kills you a little bit that I’m at number one and you’re at number five, doesn’t it?” 

Alex laughs, shoving him off. “Maybe three years ago it would have killed me. Now, I don’t really mind.” He clicks on Henry’s name and is ready to unleash whatever the internet has. Making a snap decision, he scrolls until he finds tweets from Saturday instead of this morning. “Okay, from Saturday, we have one tweet that reads:  _ I don’t know why Prince Henry ran from his wedding, but I bet it has something to do with that creepy smile Emma Lancaster has. _ I always thought she had a creepy smile! I just figured I was biased.” 

“Read another.” 

“Okay, here’s one:  _ I don’t know if I’m happy for Prince Henry to get away from something bad or sad for myself that we won’t get to see a messy marriage unfold in real time.  _ That seems insensitive.” He scrolls until he finds another one worth reading. Alex bursts out laughing and stops to read another tweet. “Listen to this one:  _ I don’t give a shit about the royal family, I just want to know 100% of the reason why Prince Henry left his wedding.  _ Well, I guess she got her wish. Most of these are just people talking about how you left.” 

“Did someone actually see me leave?” 

“Not that I’ve seen. Ooh, here’s a good one:  _ Two years ago, I swore on my mother’s grave that Henry was hot for Alex Claremont-Diaz. I bet that’s why he ran. He needs that good dick.  _ Well, I’m sure she’s pleased with herself right now too.” 

“Is that Pez’s secret Twitter?” 

“Shockingly, no.” He turns to Henry. “Do you feel like you’re getting that good dick?” 

Henry laughs, shoving his face away. “Shut up.” 

Alex keeps scrolling. “Another one here:  _ Not to be whiny, but why won’t they just tell us why the fuck Henry left? We got up at 5:00 am to watch a wedding that didn’t happen. We deserve to know.  _ And he got his wish as well.” He starts getting into ones that were tweeted this morning after the news broke. “Oh, there’s a quote retweet from the girl whose tweet I read earlier that just says:  _ Fuck I knew it!  _ Good for her.” 

Henry laughs and leans in against Alex. 

“Oh wait, I found, quite possibly the best one. Tweeted with our picture it reads:  _ This picture is a gift to all of us for Pride Month. A gay Prince AND First Son? This year is awesome. _ ” Alex laughs and looks at Henry. “I think people are on board. Although, the person who’s had the biggest impact on our relationship isn’t going to be on board no matter what.” 

Startling Alex, Henry jumps up off the bed and stands in front, his hands on his hips. “Then I’ll abdicate.” 

Alex’s eyes widen, as he tries to wrap his head around Henry’s statement. “Excuse me?” 

He steps forward and takes Alex’s hands in his. “If it comes down to pleasing my grandmother or being with you, there’s no question of what I’ll do. If she won’t let me live my own bloody life, I’ll abdicate. I don’t want to relive the past two years. If it’s you or the crown, I pick you. That was essentially the very quick choice I made when I ran away from my own very public wedding.” 

As Alex opens his mouth to reply, to urge Henry not to make such hasty decisions, his phone rings again in his lap. He groans when he looks down at the name. “Fuck,” he says, showing his phone to Henry. “It’s my mom.”


	16. The Bubble Is Burst

Alex looks up at Henry, a nervous set to his mouth. Henry nods toward the phone and Alex takes his mother’s call. With a deep sigh, he says, “Hi, Mom.” 

“Alex, we need to talk.” 

“Zahra already called me.” 

“Good, so you know what’s going on,” she says. “And you know that we know that you broke your word.” 

“Are you serious right now, Mom? Like really serious? Maybe you haven’t talked to Zahra since she talked to me. Henry informed her in no uncertain terms that I did not ruin his wedding, nor ask him to leave!” 

“Alex —” 

“No, I’m not getting blamed for something I didn’t do,” Alex fires back. “Fine, I’ll admit that maybe it was a bad idea for me to go, but I thought I was doing what was right. I never asked him to leave, I never told him he was making a mistake. I simply left myself. And then he came after me. What was I supposed to do, turn him around and march him back down the aisle after he said he wanted to be with me? No fucking way would that have happened.” He looks up at Henry and is met with a sympathetic smile. With a roll of his eyes, he flips off the phone. Henry stifles a laugh. 

“I understand that, but you know that now, you’re going to get a lot of heat from the Royal Family.” 

“Who cares? I’m not their subject.” 

“Alex, be reasonable. Do you think this was all a wise idea?” 

“Do you think it’s a wise idea for the Queen of England to keep her grandson closeted and force him into a marriage that’s completely for appearances?” 

A long sigh is all he hears on the other end. “The two of you are going to be in the press for a long time.” 

“We’re already in the press,” Alex reminds her. “Henry’s wedding was supposed to be telecast around the entire world. I think we can handle a little press attention.” 

“And what happens if the Queen takes her anger out on the two of you? Some reinforcements would be helpful. So, why don’t you tell us where you are and we’ll sort this all out.” 

“No.” His mother groans. “Henry and I are both adults, we made our own decisions, and our lives are not going to be dealt with like some bill that you’re trying to get through the House, okay? We can handle it.” 

“Alex, please don’t make me order you to come back to D.C. so we can deal with this.” 

“Deal with  _ what,  _ Mom? Deal with the fact that some creep with a camera took a picture of us and posted it against our will? Deal with the fact that we’re two men who are not heterosexual, living in countries where — shocker — it’s legal to marry another man. Nothing we’re doing is wrong. I don’t get what you’re trying to  _ deal _ with! Henry and I are essentially on a vacation. Which is well deserved after the hell that we’ve been through.” 

“I understand that, Alex, but given the fact that you’re both part of the top families in your respective countries —” 

“Doesn’t make it a political issue,” Alex reminds her. “You know, you told me you didn’t know how to go head to head with the Queen because it was a familial issue. I said I wished you could have tried to do something and you said you couldn’t. But you didn’t have a problem with the ruler of another country telling  _ your son  _ who he could or couldn’t date. So how about you use that same attitude now and butt out.” 

Alex hangs up and drops his phone like it’s hot. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I just did that.” 

Henry’s mouth hangs open a bit, a frightened but impressed look on his face. “Are you all right?” He sits down next to Alex on the bed. “I’ve never heard you talk to your mum that way.” 

“We’re not something that needs to be dealt with. She’s not gunning for another re-election like she was the first time I told her we were together. Not everything needs to be addressed like some big political problem. Let us handle the fact that we were outed.” 

Wrapping his arm around Alex’s shoulders, Henry brings him in against him. “You’re right. This isn’t some big political problem. So, why don’t we not worry about it for today. Neither of us are going to solve or even address the picture today anyway.” 

“What do you suggest?” 

“Why don’t we go out on the boat? It looks to be a nice day. We could grab some food and take it out on the boat with us, take a tour around the lake. Doesn’t that sound nice? Nice and distracting?”

Alex laughs and leans up for a quick kiss. “I think you’re right.” 

They get a cooler full of food to take out on the boat. Alex jokingly throws a bottle of spf 100 sunscreen in Henry’s direction and laughs when Henry glares at him, then laughs even harder when he sticks it in the bag. They’re all ready to go when Alex’s phone starts to ring again. 

Alex glares at it where it sits on the table. “Oh my god! I am going to throw my phone in the lake!” 

“Don’t do that,” Henry says. “It’s our only connection to the outside world. Look, it’s June. I’ll answer it, you go get the boat ready. Okay?” 

Alex rolls his eyes but nods. “Okay. Thanks, baby.” 

He walks out and throws everything they’re taking onto the boat. The engine is on and Alex is getting everything ready to go by the time Henry steps onto the deck. “Everything ready?” 

“Just about.” 

Henry walks over and presses a kiss to his cheek, hugging him from behind. Alex just grins at him and points to where Henry can sit as they pull away from the dock. After they sail further out into the lake, Alex lets the engine idle and goes to sit next to Henry. He’s already unloading the cooler with food for them to eat. His eyes are on Alex as he takes food from him. Neither of them said much as they sailed away from the lakehouse. 

“The bubble burst,” Henry says. Alex gives him a confused look. “The bubble we were living in for the past two days, where nothing could touch us and we were just getting used to each other again. It burst.” 

“Yeah,” Alex says, huffing out a sigh. “It kinda sucks.” 

“It does. But it doesn’t change anything.”

Alex glances over at him and takes a sandwich from his outstretched hand. “You’re right.” 

“It just makes us have to love each other in the open.” Henry leans over and kisses Alex’s cheek again. “I’m more than happy to do that.” 

Turning his head, Alex kisses his lips, slow and lingering. When he finally pulls back, he says, “Me too.” 

After they eat, Alex strips off his shirt, trying to decide if he needs to reapply sunscreen already or wait. They haven’t been out too terribly long, but he really doesn’t want to burn. There have been too many times since living in D.C. that he’s underestimated the Texas sun. 

Henry walks over to him, running his hands up Alex’s chest before pulling him in for a long kiss. It’s too easy, too comfortable to stand there and kiss him back. 

“You have no idea how good you look out here,” Henry whispers in his ear when he breaks away. 

“Well, you can join me,” Alex tells him, reaching for the hem of his t-shirt. 

“Fine, but if you’re blinded by my pasty-white skin, that’s your own fault,” Henry says with a laugh as he pulls his shirt off. Alex does the same maneuver, running his hands up Henry’s chest. 

“What a way to go,” Alex says with a laugh, leaning in to kiss him again. At the back of his mind, as Henry’s tongue slips into his mouth, Alex realizes that it’s a beautiful day in June on the lake. Someone could see them, could post their own picture of Prince Henry and FSOTUS Alex. A voice in the back of his head tells him to pull back. 

He ignores it, just tilts his head and deepens the kiss as his arms wind tightly around Henry’s body. 

Henry was right — being out on the boat was a good distraction. By the time they get back to the house, he’s forgotten a lot about his frustrations from earlier. As he’s cleaning up after their dinner, Alex looks over to see what Henry’s doing. He’s not even in the room. 

After wiping off the last plate, Alex throws the towel down on the counter and goes to find him. He checks the room they’re staying in, as well as the bathroom. Once he’s checked the house, he wanders outside. Sure enough, he sees Henry sitting at the edge of the dock, right where they’d jumped in the night before. 

Alex walks down and sits next to him. “Found you,” he says, nudging their shoulders together. 

“I wasn’t trying to hide.” 

“What’s up?” 

Henry shrugs. “Nothing. Just thinking.” 

“About?” 

He glances sideways at Alex, a shy smile on his face. “Us.” 

“Any earth shattering revelations?” Alex asks with a laugh. 

“Not really,” Henry says. “Well, I did realize that I have something of yours.” 

“Oh?” Alex can’t think of anything he’d given Henry. His hand moves easily when Henry pulls it closer to him. Henry slides his signet ring off his finger and places it in the palm of his hand. Same as the first time he’d made the gesture, Alex’s heart soars. 

“It’s yours,” Henry tells him. “Always. Can you promise me one thing?” Alex nods, his throat a bit thick. “No matter what happens next, please don’t give it back to me.” 

Alex hangs his head, looking down at the ring in his hand. He closes his palm and lays it over his heart. “I promise,” he whispers. Clearing his throat, he says, “I only gave it back because —” 

“I know,” Henry cuts him off. “I understand why you did. But I don’t want it back. It’s...it’s a piece of my heart given to you. And I want you to have it, to keep it. I don’t think I could ever really take it back. I want you to keep it so you’ll always know I loved you.” 

“Are you mad that I sent it back before?” Alex hesitantly looks up to meet his gaze. 

“I’ll admit, I was pretty heartbroken when you did, but no, I wasn’t mad at you. It was just a terrible place we’d been put in. I can understand you wanting to send away the piece of me you had.” 

Alex links his arm through Henry’s. “That wasn’t what I was doing. But for all my distractions, it was really hard to not think about you when I still had that around my neck.” 

Henry leans his head on Alex’s shoulder. “I understand.” He grins to himself. “But until I can give you a more meaningful ring, perhaps you’ll keep that one?” 

“A more meaningful ring, huh?” Alex asks with a laugh. “My, my, we’re very presumptuous on day three of our relationship.” 

“The clock doesn’t reset,” Henry argues. “Everyone knows that.” 

Alex almost argues with him just to be a little shit, but he doesn’t. Well, not about  _ that. _ “Interesting how you think  _ you’ll  _ be the one to give a more meaningful ring.” 

Henry shakes his head and laughs. “I suppose we’ll just see then, won’t we.” 

With a kiss to his lips, smiling into it, Alex says, “I suppose we will.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	17. New Arrivals

Alex and Henry sit at the table in the kitchen, a plate of migas between them. Henry looks from the plate to the easy smile on Alex’s face as he eats. A memory flashes in Henry’s brain.  _ I’ll cook migas in the mornings, and we’ll swim all day and never put clothes on and make out on the pier, and it won’t even matter if the neighbors see. _

He watches Alex, grinning to himself as he eats as well. There’s still so much to discuss, to unravel about the months they spent apart. Even with that remaining, they feel so much more solid already than they did a few days ago when they arrived. Maybe it’s the days spent lazily, casually dropping information from their lives apart. Maybe it’s the way they easily picked up their rhythm again, pleasing each other like it’s always been a habit. 

Still, his mind flashes back to Alex’s statement two years ago. He thinks that now, after their relationship is basically out there, they really could go out and be seen together and it wouldn’t matter. Henry of two years ago would never have been able to believe that. Hell, Henry of two  _ days  _ ago wouldn’t really be able to believe it. 

There’s something about being with Alex that makes the impossible finally seem possible. He’d thought for a long time that he’d never find a real love, certainly not with a man. But here he is, sitting across from the love of his life, eating the breakfast he’d prepared for them, and it all seems so simple. 

“Can I ask you something?” Henry says. Alex nods as he swallows another bite of food. “Did you...ever date anyone else? In the time we were apart?” 

Alex’s eyes go a bit wide as he watches Henry, processing his question. He can’t help but wonder if that’s a yes or a no. Quickly, Alex shakes his head. “No, I didn’t.” 

“I’m not going to be mad or anything if you did. I mean, I was the one who was bloody engaged.” 

A laugh stutters out of Alex. “Well, yeah, but not for real.” 

“It would have been real if I’d married her. I mean, not  _ real,  _ but…” 

Alex lays a hand on Henry’s arm. “I didn’t date anyone. It’s kind of hard to wrap your mind around the idea of dating someone else when you’re still hung up on the what ifs of another relationship.” He gives Henry a pointed look. “June offered to set me up. I said no.” 

“Well, like I said, I don’t care. I was just curious. For all I know, you could have met some rakish, handsome, British man at Shaan and Zahra’s wedding. I know you have a thing for those,” he says with a wink. 

Rolling his eyes, Alex turns back to his plate. “Would have been kind of hard since I didn’t go to Shaan and Zahra’s wedding.” 

“Wait, you didn’t?” 

“No,” Alex says. “I figured you would be there. I figured it would be largely frowned upon if we were at the same event, especially a romantic one such as a wedding.” Henry gives him a skeptical look. “You’re right, I can’t imagine Zahra having a romantic wedding. I feel like it was probably the most right to the point wedding ever.” 

Henry laughs. “Probably. I wouldn’t know either. I didn’t go because I thought  _ you  _ would be there.” 

Alex rolls his eyes with a shake of his head. “How many events did we miss because we figured the other would be there and we’d get in trouble?” 

“Seems stupid to not have risked anything.” 

“I didn’t want to make things worse for you,” Alex says in a small voice. Henry lays his hand over Alex’s. Suddenly, he starts laughing, looking at Henry with a wild look in his eyes. “Maybe that’s why Zahra was so pissed that I said I was going to your wedding. I refused to go to hers, but I  _ insisted  _ on going to yours!” 

Henry laughs with him, both of their heads thrown back in laughter. “That’s a fair theory.” 

Alex is about to say more, but gets distracted by the sound of an approaching car. “What’s that?” Henry jumps up and follows him when Alex rushes toward the door. “I think someone’s coming.” 

“Maybe it’s just a secret service agent coming back.” 

“They’ve gone out and come back a number times in the last few days. Cash always told me. And also, they never came directly to this house.” Alex glances over with concern. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing. If it was someone concerning, security wouldn’t let them through.” 

Alex keeps an eye out on the driveway as a black SUV comes to a stop. They’re both trying to stay hidden, staying over by the windows. Henry has his theories on who it is, but he doesn’t want to tell Alex in case he’s wrong. With a gasp from Alex, Henry snaps to attention and looks back out the window. Sure enough, June is hopping out of the car, looking over at the house. “What the fuck?” Alex whispers. 

He tears from the window, heading to the door. Henry’s right on his tail as they run outside. By the time they hit the driveway, Pez and Nora have gotten out of the car as well. 

“How did you figure out where we were?” Alex asks, not approaching any of their friends. 

“Henry told me when I talked to him on your phone yesterday,” June says, immediately ratting Henry out. Based on the look Alex gives him when he turns around, he  _ might  _ be in trouble. 

“Look, she was really worried about us and I was really worried about you after everything came out yesterday,” Henry explains. “And when she said that they had an idea of how to deal with things, I just told her where we were.” 

A hard look crosses Alex’s face. Ever since the bubble burst, he has been having a harder time with it. Henry got him to talk about it a bit the night before, about his fears that it’s all going to get ripped away again now that people know they ran away together. Letting people know their location, even their closest friends, may have been too much. 

Slowly, he starts to nod, like he’s wrapping his mind around the fact that everyone’s here. “Okay,” he says in a small voice. 

“Not to worry, Alex,” Pez says, “we aren’t staying in this house. You’ll still have your — ahem — privacy.” 

Nora laughs, June groans, and Henry finally draws his eyes away from Alex. With his focus so fully on Alex, Henry hadn’t noticed another person getting out of the car. He stands frozen, staring at his sister. She stands closer to the car than any of the other three, like maybe she feels just as uncomfortable being there. 

“Beatrice,” Henry says, his voice stiff. 

Alex appears in a flash at his side, his arm going around Henry’s back. Henry racks his brain to try and think of anything to say to his sister. The only words that come to mind are not for polite company. 

“You know what?” Alex cuts in, “I think I’m going to give a tour of the place to our British friends. Not you, Pez.” He’s steering Henry off toward the dock, gesturing for Bea to follow. The entire way, he’s basically pushing Henry where he wants him to go. “Look, here’s our boat. Bea, why don’t you check it out? It’s nice.” Alex nudges Henry up onto the deck. “Oh, shoot, I think Pez wanted a tour of the house. I’m going to go do that. Henry, why don’t you show Bea how everything works in here? You know how it goes.” 

Henry turns around and glares at him. “Alex,” he says in a low voice, grasping his arm before he can run off the boat. 

“You’re the one with the genius idea to tell people where we were,” Alex reminds him. Henry throws him a pleading look. Alex steps forward and cups his face in his hands. “Baby, you can do it. She’s your sister and she loves you. I know things are bad, but the only way they’re going to get fixed is if you talk about it.” He gestures to the boat. “I brought you here because then at least it’s further away from everyone else. You can hash things out without all us nosy sons-a-bitches listening in.” 

Henry glances back at Bea before looking at Alex again. “What if I just dive off the boat and go for a swim?” 

“I’ll be a little disappointed, but I’ll ultimately get it. It’s your life, sweetheart. I’m just trying to help.” 

With a small sigh, Henry caves. “Okay.” 

Alex leans in and hugs him tightly. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, he whispers, “You’re so strong. And you can do this.” 

He watches Alex walk back to the house before turning to face his sister. Even with all the things he’s told Alex, he’s still not sure what to say to his sister. She looks equally as uncomfortable when he finally looks at her. Henry clears his throat. How do you even start a conversation with your sister who you used to be incredibly close with, but now feel betrayed by and haven’t spoken to properly in a year? There’s no guidebook for this situation. 

“Have a nice flight?” is what he goes with. 

Bea sighs, nodding as she stares down at her feet. “Yes.” Her legs start bouncing anxiously and eventually, she stands up and starts pacing. “I need to apologize,” she says. 

“I’d say that’s an understatement.” 

A devastated look crosses her face. Henry doesn’t feel all that much sympathy. A similar look must have crossed his face too many times in the last year and it garnered no attention from her. 

“I want you to know that I know I messed up. I know the plans I had were totally wrong and I’m sorry. I was trying to do what I thought would be helpful to you.” 

“How did you honestly think it would be helpful for me to be shut off from the person I’ve always been closest to? Was that supposed to build me up somehow? Make me feel empowered in my loneliness? Make me willing to stand up to the person who’s been putting me down and boxing me away my entire life?” Henry demands. 

“In my head, it seemed like a good plan. Pez had the same plan.” 

“Yes, and both of you were idiots for thinking it would work!” 

“I can see the flaws now, Henry, believe me. I was just certain that at one point, you’d snap and say fuck it to Gran and come proudly tell me how you’d shown her.” 

Henry crosses his arms. “I genuinely don’t see how you thought that would be possible.” 

“Now, I don’t know either. But I didn’t want to see you cave to her. I didn’t want to watch you be miserable when you could have just said ‘Fuck you all’ and been with Alex like you wanted to be. I couldn’t watch it, I couldn’t support it. Somehow I got it in my head that you needed tough love and that if I said what I said, that you’d snap out of it and you’d just demand your own way.” 

“Okay, well that was a year ago, Beatrice, and yet you let me just go get married?” Henry starts pacing, his arm flailing out as he makes his next point. “Well, no, that’s not true. You thought you’d send Alex and let him talk me out of it. What did you think? After a year of the bullshit, of being beaten down and told I had to do my “duty” that one visit from Alex would do it?” 

“I mean, didn’t it?” Bea asks. 

“Not really. It just made us both miserable. You can’t sit there and say you were the one who got me to run away from my wedding, because you weren’t. Mum is the only one who can claim that. And you know how she did it? How she got me to — how did you phrase it? —  _ snap out of it?  _ It was because she bloody supported me! She told me she’d handle Gran and I could just go do what I needed to do. It wasn’t tough love and silent tugging of strings behind the scenes, it was outright fucking support!” 

“I’m sorry, Henry. You have to know how sorry I am. This past year was hard on me too, not being able to talk to you.” 

Henry glares at her. “Are you kidding me right now? Bea, come on. I’m sorry that your year was hard, but you weren’t the one being forced down the aisle into a life you didn’t want only to narrowly escape it.” 

“What do you think I would have been able to do, Henry? Do you think the old bat would have listened to a bloody word I said? No, she thinks up just some drugged up mistake.” 

“You could have supported  _ me.  _ That’s what you could have done!” 

Bea takes a deep breath, sitting down again. “I am sorry. Truly, I am. I didn’t know what to do. But it also killed me to see you so miserable.” She looks near to tears and Henry hates the tug of guilt within him. “Are we never going to be able to move past this? I can’t take back the mistakes I’ve made, Henry, but I can promise to stay by your side going forward. In all likelihood, they’ll be ready to smack down some judgment on you and I can stand with you and make sure it’s not as bad as they want.” 

Henry sits down as well, on the other side of the boat. “I don’t know how to get past this, Bea. It felt like a betrayal from the one person I never expected. Philip following Gran’s orders, sure, that makes sense. Doesn’t shock me at all. But you?” She opens her mouth, but Henry keeps going. “I know you weren’t really following her orders, but you weren’t helping me fight them. You walked away and expected me to fight alone when most other battles in my life I’ve had you there next to me.” He slides his feet against the deck, staring down at them. “I want to get past it. I’d like for us to have the relationship we had before, but I just don’t know how to do that.” 

“Could you let me stay? Here? With the group?” Bea asks. “Maybe that could be the first step. Maybe being near each other is the first step.” 

“It’s not my house. I’m not going to order you away.” 

Bea sighs, nodding slightly. “I am sorry, Henry. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy.” 

Tears build in Henry’s eyes and he desperately wills them not to fall. “I know.” 

“I really hope one day you’ll be able to forgive and forget it all.” 

“I can maybe do forgiveness,” Henry says. “But I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” He stands up, turning toward the dock. “We should probably head inside and join the rest of the group.” 

Bea nods, tears sliding down her cheeks. Before Henry can stop her, she throws her arms around him in a tight hug. Reluctantly, Henry wraps his arms around her as well. “I love you so much, Henry. I hope you know that.” 

In a whisper, he says, “I love you too.” 

They walk back to the house silently, neither of them willing to risk the shaky foundation they’d established just now. Bea goes to the couch and sits down next to Nora. Alex looks at Henry nervously from where he stands just apart from the group. Henry puts a hand to his arm and pulls him away from the living room. 

When they get in their room, he can see the panicked look on Alex’s face, like he thinks he’s going to get in trouble. Instead, Henry shuts the door and pulls him into a tight hug, tucking his face into Alex’s neck. A sigh of relief breathes out of him as Alex wraps his arms around Henry in return. 

“Are you okay?” 

Henry nods against his neck. “Thank you,” he whispers. 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

“You made me talk about it. With her. And somehow, that feels better than it did before,” he tells him.

“I’m glad. Oh, baby, I’m so glad to hear that.” Alex’s hand trails up and down his back. “You deserve to be happy.” 

Henry pulls back and looks at him. “We’ve got a long way to go, but we’re at least talking now. And I don’t think I’d have done that if you hadn’t forced me to.” Alex nods, a hint of a smile on his face. Henry leans his forehead against Alex’s. “So, thank you.” 

Alex pulls his head back and presses a kiss to Henry’s forehead. “Anytime, sweetheart. Anything to make you happy.” 

Pressing a soft kiss to Alex’s lips, Henry says, “ _ You  _ make me happy.” 

A smile full of emotion crosses Alex’s face. He nods, seemingly unable to say anything else. Leaning up, he kisses Henry one more time. “We should probably go back out there before they think we’re having sex.” Henry laughs, but follows him out. 

That night, the group has eaten dinner — prepped by Alex and June — and are sitting around with a pitcher of sangria and a soda for Bea. It’s been too long since this group of people was together. And really, it was only the one time in L.A., which feels impossible. The bond they all formed was strong enough to outlast the ridiculous situation of the last couple of years.

Pez regales everyone with stories, particularly after he drinks more. Alex sits with his head against Henry’s shoulder, their hands linked on the table. Everyone is calm and relaxed, a total 180 from the tense group at the church less than a week ago. 

Finishing off his glass of sangria, Henry turns to the newcomers and says, “Okay, so what is this grand idea you had for us?” 

A wide, devious smile crosses Pez’s face as he looks at Henry. “I’m so glad you asked.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teeny little cliffhanger there. But I'm really excited for y'all to read the next chapter! I thiiiink it'll be posted Thursday instead of Friday because I have a Henry birthday fic that will need to be posted on Friday! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I love reading all of your reactions!


	18. Strategic Moves or Reckless Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting something tomorrow that is date specific (Henry's birthday) so, boom early chapter! I hope you all enjoy! This was one chapter I really loved, so I hope you will too!

Henry looks back and forth between two shirts. The group of them brought Alex’s clothes and a suitcase of clothes for Henry. They talked through Pez’s idea last night and while Henry agreed then that it seemed like a good idea, now, he’s panicking. 

Alex walks up behind him and wraps his arms around his torso. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You know that, right?” 

Instead of replying, Henry just nods. “Which shirt?” 

Alex presses a kiss to the back of Henry’s neck. “The light blue one will bring out your eyes. And there’s that navy cardigan in your suitcase too. It’ll look nice with that.” 

Henry turns around in his arms and presses a kiss to Alex’s lips. “This is why I choose to keep you around.” 

“Funny, I thought it was for the sex.”

Henry lets out a laugh as he changes from his t-shirt into the shirt Alex picked out for him. “Well, that’s certainly not bad either.” He looks over at Alex, expecting a grin or a remark in reply. Instead, Alex has a serious look on his face as he stares down at his phone. “What?” Henry asks, sitting down next to him. 

“Um, nothing,” Alex quickly says, putting his phone face down on the bed. “Nothing.” 

“Have you let me swear nothing was wrong all the times I’ve told you so?” Henry raises one eyebrow. Alex smiles and presses a kiss to Henry’s cheek before getting up. “Alex,” Henry pleads. “What’s going on?” 

“It’s nothing to do with you.” 

“Still, if you’re upset about something, I’d like to know. I’d like to help however I can.” 

“This is nothing I need help with.” When Henry sighs, Alex finally caves. “Look, I...I got an email from my bosses. That’s all it was.” 

“You looked concerned.” 

Alex sits down on the bed next to Henry. “They told me I didn’t need to come back to work.” 

“What?” Henry nearly yells. Alex shushes him. “Alex, what, because of us?” 

“No!” he says firmly. “Well, not really.” 

“Alex,” Henry urges. “Please tell me what’s going on.” 

“Do you remember that campaign job that I told you I got back when we were still talking?” Henry nods. “Well, it was this job. We’re in the run up to the campaign and since I’m the only one on the campaign that’s well known and given...what’s going on, they think I’ll take too much of the focus and the senator running for re-election won’t get the media presence he deserves.” 

Henry feels his stomach sink. He lays his forehead against Alex’s shoulder. “Please tell me I haven’t now gotten you fired from two bloody campaigns. Tell me I’m not total devastation to your political career.” 

“You’re not.” 

“You’re only saying that because I told you to.” 

“No, I’m not. Look, I wasn’t  _ fired,  _ necessarily. I was just asked not to come back.” 

“How is that any different?” 

“Because I’d already set my end date at this job.” 

“The election is still months away!” 

“That’s not...when my last day was going to be,” Alex says. He sighs, looking at his hand on Henry’s knee. “Look, I hadn’t mentioned this because, well, it hadn’t come up yet, I guess. But I have done a lot of thinking and I was leaving the campaign to...go to law school.” 

“You’re going to law school?” Alex nods. “That’s brilliant! You’d make a wonderful lawyer. I mean, you argue about  _ everything.  _ Right down to how wrong I am for my personal preferences.” 

“Liking  _ Return of the Jedi  _ over  _ Empire  _ is just insane, Henry!” Alex cries. Henry laughs and Alex shakes his head. “Not the point. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I actually took the LSAT when we were together.” 

“Wait, seriously?” Alex nods again. “God, you’re incredible. Alex, this is wonderful. I’m so happy for you.” 

Alex leans his head against Henry’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he says in a small voice. “Anyway, my end date was just moved up by a month. It was originally July 1st.” 

“So, I haven’t totally ruined everything for you?” 

Kissing him swiftly before standing up, Alex says, “Nope. Definitely not, baby.” He grabs Henry’s arms and pulls him up. “Now, it’s time to stop avoiding the decision you made.” 

“This just feels like it’s going to be a bad idea.” 

“You never know unless you try.” 

Henry sits in a chair from the kitchen table against a bright orange wall. Thankfully Oscar’s home keeps the set from being too boring and beige. “Are we sure about this?” he asks. He’s already made the call to his mother, asking her if he was going to be murdered. She just laughed and assured him that she’d protect him. Yet again, she urged him to do what he needed to. But now, he’s nervous. 

Pez rolls his eyes. “You agreed to it, mate.” 

“I know, I know, I know.” 

Alex walks up to him and kisses him sweetly. “You’ve got this, baby. I know it.” 

Henry takes a deep breath and watches Alex take his place next to June. Pez is behind the camera — well, Henry’s phone that was also thankfully brought from London. Nora and Bea stand to the other side of Pez, all hands on deck. It feels insane to be taking a risk like this, but desperate times call for desperate measures and Henry is well past desperate to take his own life fully into his own hands. 

Pez gives him the signal and Henry clears his throat. His hands are shaking in his lap, but he tries to pull it together. “Uh, hi there. I’m Prince Henry, as you probably know if you follow me.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, this is terribly awkward. I’ve never done an Instagram Live before, as you can imagine.” He takes a deep breath. “Anyway, I am doing this because I’m tired of seeing all the speculation, of seeing the think pieces, of seeing people’s assumptions on why I did what I did last weekend. I’m here to clear the air as it were. It’s highly unprecedented and I’ll likely get my bollocks handed to me for doing this, but I’m sick of the lies and the questions. I’d like to tell my story.” 

He glances back at his friends and sees Alex beaming. Flashing him a smile, he nods and continues. 

“So, given the pictures that have been released — against our will, to be clear — I think I may be stating the obvious, but it’s still nice to say, nonetheless.” He pauses, knowing the next words he says, he’ll never be able to take back. The cat will be out of the bag, the genie will be out of the bottle, and he may just well be out of the royal family. He presses on. “I’m gay. I always have been. For those who will surely make the comments — no one  _ turned  _ me gay. I just am.

“As you can put together from that, the wedding this past weekend that did not happen was indeed forced. At the last moment, I decided I couldn’t do it and ran away with someone very important to me.” Henry glances over at Alex, smiling just for him. 

“There’s a commenter who would like to know if Alex is here with you.” Pez grins cheekily at him.

Henry laughs. “Yes, Alex is here.” He glances over and makes up his mind. “Just come over here.” 

“This is your thing.” 

“Just get over here.” 

Alex pulls a chair over and sits next to Henry, waving awkwardly to the camera. “Hi, everyone. I’m Alex Claremont-Diaz.” 

“I’m sure they all know,” Henry says. 

“You still introduced yourself and they’re  _ your  _ followers,” Alex reminds him. “I can’t assume everyone knows me. That’s completely conceited.” 

Henry opens his mouth to argue with him, but stops himself. They need to get back on track. “Anyway,” he says pointedly. “I suppose the real point of this is to tell you the truth, the whole story.” He glances over at Alex and raises his eyebrows in a question. Alex nods with a small smile. “The story is that many years ago, we met and did not immediately fall in love,” Henry says, making Alex burst out laughing. “We were two men around the same age, both from notable families, both thrust into the spotlight. So naturally, the world rather pitted us against each other. And we did not always get along.” 

Alex laughs again. “He’s not kidding.” 

“No, certainly not. Some of you may recall an incident a few years back from my brother’s wedding. The cake crashing and both of us supposedly fighting. Well, that was incredibly true. Our families scurried to cover it up, make it seem like we were just two idiots messing around at a wedding, when in reality, we were really fighting.” He can see Alex fold his mouth into a tight line. No doubt he’s holding back some kind of comment. “So, in the aftermath of that fight and the uproar it caused, we were forced to fake a friendship and in the weekend that followed, where we were forced to show off that new friendship, we ended up learning a lot more about each other. And we did genuinely start to become friends.

“And, as can happen, becoming friends led to…” He glances over at Alex, the two of them sharing a private smile. “Well it led to becoming something more. And for the year of 2020, we had to make up all these reasons to see each other.” 

“Yeah,” Alex chimes in. “Our arrangement when we originally were staging a friendship was like two events that we  _ had  _ to agree to, but the two of us decided to use this newfound friendship ruse to our advantage. It became our excuse to see each other. People seemed to like it when we hung out together. I mean, we certainly did too. But it worked as a good cover. The only issue was when the people making our schedules  _ knew  _ that we’d hated each other. And we’d filled our required commitments, so why the hell were we flying across the world to see each other?” 

Henry laughs. “Until we were ready to tell more people, it was quite a puzzle of figuring out enough excuses and lies to be in the same room. Ultimately, we just weren’t sure what the reaction would be when or if we told people the truth.” 

“People don’t like to find out that the most eligible bachelor in the country is taken,” Alex says in a stage whisper behind his hand, pointing to Henry with his other one. Henry just shakes his head. “But also, around that time, we found out that there was this, um, attempt to hack Henry’s and my personal correspondence, with the intention to release it to the public. Well, it  _ was  _ hacked, but the leak was stopped in time. We already had wanted to tell people, but when it came that close to coming out without our consent, we knew we had to tell our families.”

“Exactly. So the time came that we decided to tell our families the truth. Frankly, the circle of people who knew about us was getting dangerously large for us to not include our families, even without the potential leak. Telling some people went quite well. Telling others...did not.” Alex reaches out and grabs Henry’s hand. “I’m already on this thing, I might as well name names. People are smart enough to figure it out.” He takes a deep breath. “Telling my grandmother, the Queen of England, well, it ruined everything. We wanted to go public with our relationship and that was not what happened.” 

“Nah, pretty much the opposite.” 

“We were forbidden from ever being in the same room together again, forbidden from telling anyone about our relationship, forbidden from being together, really. And if any of you out there have ever had a family member who is overly controlling, has beaten you down your entire life, and has no qualms about the way they’re treating you, then you know how easy it is to cave, even when it’s the last thing you want to do.” He glances at Alex, his face falling a bit. “So, that’s what we did. Alex went back to the U.S. and I stayed in England. We tried to keep our relationship going over the phone, but it felt impossible. We never knew when we were going to see each other or if we’d ever get the chance to be together for real.” 

“Sometimes it doesn’t matter how deeply you feel,” Alex says, “when your circumstances are so shitty.” 

“Right, so we weren’t able to keep it up and then naturally, that’s when the “family duty” came into play,” Henry says, dramatically using air quotes. “I was bullied, pressured, guilted, nearly threatened, I suppose, into agreeing to this arrangement. To anyone wondering, Emma knew what it was when she agreed to it. She wasn’t hopelessly in love with me or anything. It was fully an arrangement. I was in…” Henry trails off, taking a deep breath. “I was in a very low part of my life. Probably the lowest part of my life, and that’s saying something because contrary to what you might think, my life as the closeted gay royal has not been a picnic.” 

Alex snickers out a laugh, covering his mouth quickly. Henry grins at him before continuing. 

“Anyway, finally, it came down to the wedding day. People did see me go in. And as I stood on that altar, I couldn’t do it. Alex walked away because he couldn’t watch me make the worst mistake of my life and I…” Henry looks over at him, ignoring the camera. “I just chased after him.” Alex flashes him a grateful smile. Henry clears his throat and looks back at his phone. “As you’ve probably seen from the picture that went around the internet. So we ran off, trying to keep from getting in trouble, trying to be together as we’d wanted for quite a while. And, well, here we are.” 

“I’m trying to think if there are any parts we missed,” Alex says. “It feels like you covered it all. Also, astonishing that you talked far more than I did.” Henry laughs, grinning at him. 

“There are questions,” Pez tells them. 

“Yeah,” Henry says, turning back toward the camera. “We can take some questions.” 

“Okay, this first one,” Pez says, “is asking if you love Alex.” Pez wears a devious grin and Alex bursts out laughing. 

“Well, yes, I do. I think it would be fairly obvious since I ran away with him from my wedding.” 

Nora pipes up. “Another question is asking if Alex loves Henry.” 

“Very much,” Alex says, kissing Henry’s hand for the camera.

“One question is asking if Nora Holleran was Alex Claremont-Diaz’s beard,” June tells them, dying laughing. 

Alex shakes his head at June. “Uh, no,” he says. “I’m bi.” 

“One comment just says ‘Come to Brazil!’” Nora chimes in. 

“We’ve actually been there,” Alex tells them. “That was where we met!” 

“Should we go back to Brazil?” Henry asks, an excited look in his eyes. 

“We should totally go back to Brazil!” Alex turns back to the camera. “Thanks for the great suggestion.” 

Pez reads out another question. “Henry, this person wants to know if you’ll start supporting any LGBTQ charities now that you’re out.” 

Henry stares at Pez for longer than he should, opportunities that he’d buried a long time ago, suddenly screaming to the forefront of his mind. In this short moment, it feels like a world of possibilities is opening up before him. Alex snaps his fingers in front of his face. Henry shakes his head. “Sorry about that,” he says. “Been a crazy few days.” Glancing over, he sees Alex’s confused expression. Pez reads the question again. “Yes, as much as I’m able to. I’ve wanted to make an LGBTQ charity one of my personal charities for many years now, but obviously, it was never approved by the crown. When they’re trying to closet you, it’s hard to get your queer initiatives passed. If you have any LGBTQ charities that are near to your heart, please send them to me! I’m certainly eager to learn about more than the ones I already know of. Especially if there are any UK based charities. That would be great. Send me those!” 

“Here’s a question,” June says. “Is it weird that you’ve been apart longer than you were together?” 

Alex and Henry stare at each other, clearly neither of them putting that together quite in that way. Henry’s at a loss for words, more than willing to let Alex take it. “Uh, yeah, I guess. I don’t know. I’ve never thought of it that way before. Based on Henry’s face, I don’t think he has either. We just...we kept waiting for the next event, the next stepping stone. We were together and then we weren’t allowed to see each other. And now we’re together again. It doesn’t really feel any different this time than it did last time. Maybe we have some catching up to do, but it...it feels right, more than anything to be together again. I’d say.” 

Henry nods. “I’d say that too.” 

Bea clears her throat, reading out the next question. “Are you happy to be back together?”

“I don’t know if happy is the right word,” Henry says. “Thrilled, relieved, over the moon, in awe, in disbelief, eager, joyful —” 

“He’s a poet, y’all. He can keep going!” Alex says with a laugh. “But yeah, everything he said. I mean, like I said, it just feels right.” Henry watches him, knowing he probably has a dumb grin on his face as he nods. 

Quickly, Henry looks back at the camera. “How about one more question? We’ve probably done enough damage for one day.” 

Pez is scrolling through the questions on his phone before a smile on his face shows that he found the right one. “How do you feel, finally getting to share your story?” 

Henry smiles right at the camera. “Free.” He looks over at Alex, seeing the large, proud grin on his face. He pulls up Henry’s hand and presses another kiss to the back of it. 

The two of them are locked in a loving gaze when he hears Pez say, “Oh my god, that’s perfect.” 

Thinking that Pez has turned off the stream, Henry leans in and Alex meets him in the middle, kissing softly. (He’ll find out later when this kiss is posted on the internet that Pez had not in fact stopped the stream in time.)

There’s still a part of him that thinks this might have been reckless, but Henry looks around at the other five people in the room and realizes, for the first time in a long time, he has the full support of those he loves. 


	19. Another Night, Another Conversation

Alex wakes up and rolls over, expecting to land against Henry, but he finds an empty half of bed. Opening his eyes and frowning, he looks around the room. Henry’s not there. Alex is more than a little concerned. 

After the Instagram Live, Henry kept swinging back and forth between deliriously happy and fearing the reaction from both families involved. Eerily, it had been silent on both fronts, even though the live video had been watched by millions of people and shared on various platforms. People loved what Henry did, what they said. Most of all, people loved the fact that they were honest. He watched as Henry read reaction articles, an awed smile on his face. 

But now, waking up alone, Alex is panicked. 

He runs out into the kitchen. Henry isn’t there. He checks all the other rooms, but Henry isn’t there either. It’s not until he stops and pauses, not being so frantic, that he hears voices outside the house. Creeping closer to the door, Alex can hear two distinctly British voices talking in the grass outside. 

Part of him thinks he should walk back to his room and leave Pez and Henry to talk on their own. Maybe they’re hashing things out, same way Henry had to do with Bea. Or maybe they’re just talking. Alex’s curiosity gets the best of him, though, and he pulls the door open just a bit further, sitting in a chair by the door. 

“You owe me at least that much,” Henry tells Pez. “Given the way things happened.” 

“I would do this even if I didn’t have anything to make up for and you know it.” 

Alex tries to think about what that would be. His mind is blank. Is it that he’s missed out on too much of Henry’s life or the fact that he’s still half asleep?

“So, how fast can we make this happen? If things don’t go in my favor with Gran, I’d like to have my ducks in a row.” 

“Henry, if I call my lawyers, I could tell them to have it ready tomorrow. But also, a verbal agreement should be enough. It’s between you and me. I’m not going to go back on my word on this. I’ve been basically saving it for you for the last two years.” 

“Good. I do appreciate that. It felt foolish when you told me you were waiting. But now...now I truly appreciate it, Percy.” 

Pez must clap him on the shoulder, based on the sound Alex hears. Henry and Pez aren’t the type to high five. “Of course. I’d do anything for you, Henry.” Alex wonders if Henry’s going to bring up the things Pez  _ wouldn’t  _ do in the last two years. Given the silence, and a more hushed conversation that Alex is straining to hear, he thinks Henry doesn’t bring it up.

“It’s getting late, Henry. You should probably head back to your strumpet.” 

Henry laughs. “I should. Thank you again, Pez.” 

“It’s my pleasure. We’ll talk more later.” 

“All right.” 

Alex realizes too late that he should have run back to his room by now. His curiosity had him wanting to listen to every word. He’s up and out of his chair, halfway between the living room and the hall to their room when he hears his name. 

“Alex?” He freezes, turning around slowly to look at Henry. “What are you doing up?” 

“Not listening to your conversation.” Henry gives him a confused look. “Fine, I was listening to your conversation. I’m sorry. I woke up and you weren’t there, so I came to find you. And then my curiosity got the best of me.” 

Henry chuckles, closing the distance between them. He pulls Alex in by the hem of his t-shirt. “I don’t mind.” He kisses Alex slowly. “But, we do, perhaps have something we should talk about.” 

“Should I be nervous?” 

“I went live to tell the whole world I loved you. What could you have to be nervous about?” 

Alex shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m sure I could come up with something.” Taking his hand, Henry leads him over to the kitchen table. Before sitting down, Alex grabs two glasses and some whiskey. When Henry raises a brow at him, he says, “I don’t know what kind of talk this is going to be.” 

Henry laughs and accepts the glass from him. “Okay, so do you recall when we met up in New York?” 

Watching him over the rim of his glass, Alex tries to figure out which time he means. “When we met for my birthday? Or when you came to the hotel I was staying in after Raf sided with Richards? Or when our friends tricked us both into being in the same place and it was the last time we saw each other before last week?” 

“The last one.” 

“Then, obviously yes.” 

“All right, well, I don’t know if I told you why I was there. Well, I suppose the  _ ruse  _ of why I was there.” Alex gestures for him to continue. “Pez was opening shelters for LGBT youth,” Henry tells him. 

“Isn’t that why you were there the time you met me before the DNC?” 

“Yeah, I think it was.” Henry takes a sip of his whiskey. Alex’s eyes don’t leave him. “Anyway, well Pez had it in his head to write the shelters over to me to run. And then when everything went south, and then further south, that obviously didn’t happen. But I was asking him tonight, if I could have that opportunity again.” 

Alex watches him closely. A light goes on in his head. “That was what you were held up on during that live. When they asked you if you were going to work with any LGBT charities.” 

Henry’s jaw drops a fraction, staring at Alex in awe. “God, you know me. It’s astounding.” Alex just grins proudly. “Yes, as a matter of fact, it was. I couldn’t sleep and so I texted Pez to meet me and we talked about it. He still wants me in charge of it. Kept coming up with fake reasons to delay his work on it until I was a bit more free. I mean, frankly, I guess I don’t know if I’m truly free yet, but —” 

“Henry,” Alex says, pulling him back from a trail that won’t end anywhere positive. “You’re free. You’re a badass and you’re going to create your own destiny.” 

“Maybe,” Henry says, a grin on his face regardless. “Anyway, this is what I want to do. Especially because this work, well, it would bring me to the United States.” 

“Seriously?” Alex sits forward, staring Henry down. For the last few days, even with the sheer joy of being together again, Alex still worried what it would mean for them when they had to return to their normal lives. Would they just resume long distance? Alex hated it the first time, he’d definitely hate it now. 

“Seriously,” Henry says, smiling back at him. He reaches out and takes Alex’s hands. “I’d be in New York.” 

Alex doesn’t have words. There are very few instances where that has ever happened. But right now, on the cusp of acknowledging that things could  _ finally  _ be working out for them, Alex has no words. 

“Alex?” 

“New York...City?” 

Henry shakes his head in his confusion. “Of course. Brooklyn, really.” 

Alex pulls back and stands up from the table. He feels like the rug is going to be pulled out from under him at any moment, like the gotcha moment is coming. After all they’ve fucking been through, it can’t be this easy to get it right. He looks back and sees Henry’s confused, almost scared expression. 

“You’re going to be in New York?” Alex asks again. He feels like he needs to triple check things. 

Henry sighs. “Yes, love, I am.” 

“I am too,” he whispers. 

Snapping his head back up, Henry’s eyes widen, disbelief clear on his face. “You are?” 

Alex nods, his mouth a tight line. He walks closer to Henry, letting himself be pulled onto Henry’s lap. “I didn’t mention it earlier when we were talking about law school because we were getting ready to do your thing, but uh, I’m going to NYU. So, I’ll also be in New York.” 

Henry’s eyes sparkle with unshed tears. “We’re actually going to be in the same place?” 

Leaning down, he rests his head against Henry’s forehead. “It seems like it. But it also seems truly impossible.” 

“It does,” Henry says with a small sniffle. “But holy shit. We’re going to be living in the same country, the same time zone, the same city. That’s incredible.” Henry shakes his head. “After I return to London, it’ll just be however long it takes me to get to New York, and then we won’t have to be separated again.” 

“About that,” Alex says, grimacing a bit. “I’m going to London with you.” 

“What?” 

“I’m going to London with you. When you go back to face your grandmother, I’m going to be with you.” 

“Alex, that’s so much to ask. I mean, you’re a four hour flight from home here. To go back with me —” 

“Is what I’m going to do.” Alex is determined. There’s no way Henry’s talking him out of this. 

“Why?” 

“Because, I’m supporting you in the fight against your grandmother.” Alex nods with finality. “I’m also a little bit scared that if I let you go there on your own, I’ll never see you again. So, I’m going with you. We’re going to present a united front. No one’s pulling us apart again.” 

“I really did mean what I said the other day, you know,” Henry tells him. Alex wracks his brain to remember. “If it comes down to the crown or you, I’ll abdicate. Easily.” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” 

Henry cups Alex’s cheek. “I’m trying to think of things I would choose over you and I’m coming up blank. You’re more important to me than anything, Alex.” 

He’s at a loss for words again, so Alex just leans down and kisses Henry. Fully returning it, Henry stands them up and Alex wraps his legs around Henry’s waist. He walks them back to their room and lays Alex down on the bed before climbing over him. Alex reaches an arm up and pulls Henry down against him. 

They move quickly, their eagerness for the future fueling their actions. Alex yanks Henry’s shirt off and Henry quickly does the same in return. Pushing at Henry’s boxers has Henry pulling Alex’s down. They kiss deeply, languidly and then sloppily, heatedly. Henry’s hand on Alex’s cock has him groaning loudly, thankful that the other four decided to stay in the house next door. 

He kisses his way toward Henry’s ear and says, “Fuck me.” When Henry pulls back and looks at him, making sure he means it, Alex adds, “God, I want you to.” 

With a nod, Henry carries on like Alex never said anything. He kisses him and kisses him, moving his attentions down his neck, across his collarbones, paying special attention to his chest and abs. Henry really is a fan of Alex’s newly ripped body. 

Alex thinks he knows where Henry’s headed, but he bypasses Alex’s rapidly hardening cock and stretches out at eye level with his ass. Tightening his hands on Alex’s hips, Henry pulls him forward, circling his tongue around his rim, making Alex cry out again. He pushes his tongue in, stretching him out slowly. Alex doesn’t even really feel the burn, just the wet pressure of Henry’s tongue. His hand shoots down, his fingers tangling in Henry’s hair, trying not to yank it. 

Henry fucks into him with his tongue and Alex is losing it a bit. His breathing is short, his entire body feels hot. He feels like he needs to watch what Henry’s doing, but he doesn’t have the strength to push himself up on his elbows. 

He’s not sure if he’s actually ready or if his desperation for Henry becomes too much, but either way, he pulls Henry away by the hand in his hair and brings him in for a messy kiss. “In me. Now.” 

There’s a smug grin on Henry’s face and Alex wants to do something about it, but he also really just wants Henry to fuck him. He watches as Henry slides on a condom and slicks himself up before lining his cock right at Alex’s hole. “Please,” Alex sighs. 

Henry doesn’t need to be told twice. He presses in slowly, stretching Alex more as he goes. Hissing out a breath, Alex tightens his hands on Henry’s arms, relishing the feeling of Henry inside him, ignoring any other pain. Henry pauses at each step, pushing in gently, watching Alex for signs to continue. 

“Baby, just fuck me,” he groans, pulling Henry in for a deep kiss. Henry pulls his hips back and thrusts in hard, leaving Alex moaning against his lips. He repeats the action again and again, making Alex cry out. 

Reaching down, Alex pulls him in deeper by his hands on Henry’s ass. Henry groans himself, tucking his face into Alex’s neck. Alex cradles his head, raising his hips to meet Henry’s thrusts, feeling Henry’s hot breaths on his skin. He wraps his arms and legs around Henry, holding him like the precious thing that he is. Henry’s lips find their way back to Alex’s and it’s a mess of teeth, tongue, and lips, of panted words, of promises between them. 

Alex can feel himself getting closer to the edge. He can also feel Henry pulsing inside him and knows he’s close. Henry’s hand grabs Alex’s somewhat neglected dick and strokes and strokes and strokes. Alex lets out a keening moan as a deep thrust hits the perfect spot. “Henry, baby, please,” he whines. 

Henry picks up speed with his hips and his hands, bringing Alex to the edge and pushing him right over. Alex squeezes his muscles, trying to bring Henry right over the edge of release with him. In another few thrusts, Henry’s there too, crying out Alex’s name and collapsing against him. 

After cleaning up a bit, Alex stills feels out of breath as he and Henry lay next to each other, curled up together. Maybe it’s the strong feeling of disbelief that this could be their reality. The two of them, in the same place, living their lives together, side by side. 

He presses a soft kiss to Henry’s shoulder, his neck, his jaw, and his lips. Slowly, without any real intention, the two of them kiss. After everything that’s happened in the last few days, it feels like a promise — a promise for better things yet to come. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Feel free to chat with me on tumblr! I'm [three-drink-amy](https://three-drink-amy.tumblr.com/)


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